Have you ever gone to a wedding with a cash bar? Where was it?
I live in California and I was just discussing wedding plans with my co-workers.
Apparently having an open bar is not expected.
I heard a couple of different options:
Cash bar the whole wedding Each person gets two drinks tickets then it is cash bar Open bar for only 2 hours then a cash bar
Anyway, I just wanted to hear any other options you may have experienced.
ETA: I am having a full open bar at my wedding. I am just curious to see if people actually did go to a wedding with a cash bar.
ShortBride
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Rather than a cash bar, I would rather have a beer/wine only wedding, or a brunch with no alcohol. JMO and after planning a wedding, I wouldn't be offended by almost anything
TEDNJENN
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I have to agree that in NY a cash bar is NOT the norm but it happens. We went to a wedding for friend of ours and we were involved in the setting up of the wedding...the bride asked all her friends to help set up the hall for the reception and we all agreed to help. But when we found out the the bride said there was no open bar and that 'if her friends or family want to drink then let them pay for th alcohol.' Becuase she didnt want to pay an extra $5 pp. We all knew she was just cheap and her FH was so pissed becuase his family was full of drinkers and they would be coming from all over the country to this wedding. So her FFIL said he would pay the extra $pp. ANd every person at our table said if it was cash bar they were gonna put an envelope in the middle of the table with ther wedding gift money and anytime they needed a drink the money was coming out of the wedding gift. IT turned out to be one of the greatest weddings we had been to in a while. Except ours
soon2bmrsdunn
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I've never been to a party like this. However a friend of mine did and she said it was weird. Drinking isn't that important to me so I guess it would be a big deal. However to do agree with an earlier post that most people (especially women) do not bring money to a wedding so I would try to let the word out. Maybe instead of the cash bar you could do liquor that is not top shelf.
ali120206
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I think I'd be a little upset if I went to a wedding in NY and it was a cash bar. Especially if I didn't have a lot of cash with me! Out of town weddings are a different story though. I went to college in the South as well and most of the weddings I went to out of this area had beer (kegs) and wine and everything else was cash. There also isn't as much food (I've ordered a lot of pizzas afterwards). I'm excited for some of my out of town friends to come and see what a NY wedding is like!
aliwnec10
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In my opinion... people get VERY disappointed if they go to a wedding with a cash bar. I have known quite a few people who have thought about taking money out of the envelope because it was a cash bar.
*I wouldn't recommend it.
johnsae
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Posted by stephanief
Posted by johnsae
I don't think a cash bar is ever acceptable - I think it's kind of rude....cut costs in other areas to make it happen.
JMO
I don't necessarily think it is rude. It is not common in NY but in other places, it is acceptable.
ok - I still think it's rude though, and what places deem it acceptable?
ShortBride
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Posted by ali120206
I'm excited for some of my out of town friends to come and see what a NY wedding is like!
It's funny, relatives of DH from Alabama thought that the CH was the wedding! They were stuffing themselves when my FIL had to tell them that a full dinner would be served! Things certainly vary, at my friends wedding in Rochester, the CH was cheese, crackers, fruit, and vegetables (full open bar, though!).
otherme
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Posted by johnsae
I don't think a cash bar is ever acceptable - I think it's kind of rude....cut costs in other areas to make it happen.
JMO
I don't necessarily think it is rude. It is not common in NY but in other places, it is acceptable.
ok - I still think it's rude though, and what places deem it acceptable?
As someone who grew up in Boston, i can tell you that it is not always assumed that there will be an open bar at every wedding. I've been to plenty of weddings both in and outside NY that have been either option. Just because it is the norm to have open bar here doesn't mean its rude to not do it elsewhere.. Each part of the country has its own 'standards' as to what is expected or acceptable. Compared to the rest of the country, weddings in NY are completely out of control anyway! For myself, i wouldn't dream of not having one because i know how much I have enjoyed an open bar at past weddings. Most of the out of town people at our wedding were pleasantly surprised that we had an open bar. Everyone has their own standards.
I'm also shocked and disgusted to hear that people would actually have the nerve to take money from their gift to the bride and groom in retaliation for their not having an open bar. How tacky and incredibly selfish. Really
giapet99
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I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar. I have to agree with other people when I go to a wedding I never think to bring money because I just assume it's going to be an open bar. All the halls that I have looked at offer open bars throughout the entire evening. Is a cash bar even an option with some of these places. I personally think an open bar is nice
JanuaryBride06
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Posted by giapet99
I have to agree with other people when I go to a wedding I never think to bring money because I just assume it's going to be an open bar.
I used to be the same way until my college friends from other states got married. Weddings are different all over the country and you cannot assume that the NY wedding is the norm. It's unfair call the person tacky for having what is considered a standard wedding for their part of the country.
LaurenluvsTJ
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I went to a wedding upstate last year, and everyone was making a such a big deal over the fact they had an open bar for the WHOLE night! I was like, what are they crazy? Of course it is. Apparently, there they might have open bar for the CH and thats it. I guess its cash or nothing after that.
akaMrsT
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Posted by roxyspark
Have you ever gone to a wedding with a cash bar? Where was it?
I live in California and I was just discussing wedding plans with my co-workers.
Apparently having an open bar is not expected.
I heard a couple of different options:
Cash bar the whole wedding Each person gets two drinks tickets then it is cash bar Open bar for only 2 hours then a cash bar
Anyway, I just wanted to hear any other options you may have experienced.
I have been to many weddings with only cash bar (not in NYC).
I attended a wedding at Fox Hollow a while back and there was a sign at the bar saying that the bride & groom were hosting a wine & champagne bar during cocktail hour. If the guests wanted anything else they had to buy it.
kaklesmay
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I've been to a few cash bar weddings out west.
Weddings out there are far less formal. Every wedding I went to out there played a radio- if they had music at all! and I've never seen a photographer.
andri
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I have NEVER been to one and IMO would think the couple to be cheap. Giving their guests bare minimum but racking in the gifts.
Lets stop BSing each other OK? Most of us here (geographically speaking) are from a middle-class or better background. We talk about and discuss topics like Reem Acra wedding gowns,$200+ CP's, Limo's galore,BoraBora & Tahiti.. then you're gonna make it a cash bar? Wasn't there a better way to cut a corner? Granted this is common outside of NY and I respect that but here on LI? No Way. You better believe I'd take money out of the envelope(BTW ppl from my culture ONLY give $$,a gift - like off the registry would be insulting,thats what a shower is for..but thats just me and common knowledge to ppl I invited and was invited to,pls don't flame)
My guests are exactly that-MY GUESTS for the evening. They should want for nothing. Now lets have a
Blu-ize
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We were on a vacation last year and ran across some honeymooners who were very young. They said they had about 130 people at their wedding and it cost about average. They were from Texas. They had all the compenents of a big wedding and they said it cost 15. We assumed it was $15,000. Nope, it was $1500. Just a different way of doing things. She said a friend of hers hooked them up with a keg. They had a great time and were honeymooning for at least $3k. They said they got a ton of gifts mostly non-cash.
Personally, I would never have a cash bar.
metmymatch
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yup. in MA. we wound up sneaking in our own alcohol. eventually we gave up and just went back to our room to drink with a bunch of other guests.
carlsbride
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Posted by johnsae
Posted by stephanief
Posted by johnsae
I don't think a cash bar is ever acceptable - I think it's kind of rude....cut costs in other areas to make it happen.
JMO
I don't necessarily think it is rude. It is not common in NY but in other places, it is acceptable.
ok - I still think it's rude though, and what places deem it acceptable?
It's a big world out there - New York is not the center of the universe or the dictator for what is the proper way to host a wedding. Most weddings I have attended down South did not have a full open bar for the whole event.
ETA: And I never thought it was Tacky or Rude, just different.
Beth1210
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personally I would never do it- I would cut back elsewhere the happiness of your guests is very important
PrincessRose
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Cash bar is the one cost-cutting method I can't get behind. Sorry. I had a friend who did it upstate and I will never say anything against her for it, but it's something I didn't do and wouldn't do. I didn't drink at her wedding because I had no money. Not like it was a huge deal or something, but I would've liked to be able to have a drink or two.
The only money I bring to a wedding is the money for the gift (if I didn't just get them something off their registry).
Mrs. Powell
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Posted by Beth1210
personally I would never do it- I would cut back elsewhere the happiness of your guests is very important
