Discussion about privacy and your FH.

I happened to mention to my Fh that I had a doctors appointment today. He asked me over and over what type of doctor and eventually I just said a general practitioner.

I didn't want to tell him that I am going to see a pyschiatrist. I just feel that there is nothing to tell him until the dr diagnosis me with something or tells me what is wrong.

So my question is do you tell your fiance everything? Do you keep certain things from him?

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Posted by CubanBride

I happened to mention to my Fh that I had a doctors appointment today. He asked me over and over what type of doctor and eventually I just said a general practitioner.

I didn't want to tell him that I am going to see a pyschiatrist. I just feel that there is nothing to tell him until the dr diagnosis me with something or tells me what is wrong.

So my question is do you tell your fiance everything? Do you keep certain things from him?

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I don't tell him EVERYTHING (mostly just because I know he wouldn't be interested in some of my life--how I bought and returned 6 dresses for the 2 weddings I am going to this week...), but I wouldn't hide going to see a psychiatrist from him. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and then you would be able to discuss your meeting with him...

I discuss almost everything with him. He's the only one that will tell me everything will be ok if something's wrong. I wouldn't keep it from him.

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Posted by nferrandi

I wouldn't keep anything about my health, mental or otherwise, from my FH. If I was concerned enough to see a doctor of any sort, I would like some support from FH. I do however keep silly stuff from him, like if a guy hits on me and stuff like that. There's no need for him to know.

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I agree. I would be hurt if FH didn't tell me that information.

Oh, well I am not discussing this with him until I know what the deal is. It's not as if there is anything he can do to help me. I don't really know what is wrong. If I knew, I would tell him. But I don't so what's the point?

If it were a medical thing, then I would tell him. I am not ashamed. I have been to therapy before and he knows that.

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Posted by CubanBride

Oh, well I am not discussing this with him until I know what the deal is. It's not as if there is anything he can do to help me. I don't really know what is wrong. If I knew, I would tell him. But I don't so what's the point?

If it were a medical thing, then I would tell him.

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It's your choice and it sounds like you have your mind made up. As far as how he can help you, he can be supportive.

Good luck!!

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Posted by nferrandi

I wouldn't keep anything about my health, mental or otherwise, from my FH. If I was concerned enough to see a doctor of any sort, I would like some support from FH. I do however keep silly stuff from him, like if a guy hits on me and stuff like that. There's no need for him to know.

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I feel the same way, if i need to go to the doctor for whatever reason, in some way it is going to affect him either now or somewhere down the line. the stuff i do keep from him, is little things he doesn't care about, or I know he would freak over, like how much i spent shopping this weekend.

I do tell him everything, i just realized. He knows that I go to a therapist, but he doesn't know EVERYTHING that goes on.. Some things, i need to keep to my self. But if they wre going to affect him in any way, i woudl tell him..



ETA: i have a very bad anxiety disorder, and I don't tell him some things that I'm thinking or feeling, because I think I'm crazy, I don't need him thinking I'm crazy too. I have a therapist, so I can talk to her about the things, that I can't talk to anyonelse about..

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Posted by Laura1976

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Posted by nferrandi

I wouldn't keep anything about my health, mental or otherwise, from my FH. If I was concerned enough to see a doctor of any sort, I would like some support from FH. I do however keep silly stuff from him, like if a guy hits on me and stuff like that. There's no need for him to know.

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I feel the same way, if i need to go to the doctor for whatever reason, in some way it is going to affect him either now or somewhere down the line. the stuff i do keep from him, is little things he doesn't care about, or I know he would freak over, like how much i spent shopping this weekend.

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ditto.

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Posted by nov04LIbride

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Posted by CubanBride

I happened to mention to my Fh that I had a doctors appointment today. He asked me over and over what type of doctor and eventually I just said a general practitioner.

I didn't want to tell him that I am going to see a pyschiatrist. I just feel that there is nothing to tell him until the dr diagnosis me with something or tells me what is wrong.

So my question is do you tell your fiance everything? Do you keep certain things from him?

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I don't tell him EVERYTHING (mostly just because I know he wouldn't be interested in some of my life--how I bought and returned 6 dresses for the 2 weddings I am going to this week...), but I wouldn't hide going to see a psychiatrist from him. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and then you would be able to discuss your meeting with him...

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That's funny! I didn't tell my FH that I bought two other wedding dresses and then sold them on ebay! However, I do tell him everything that would impact my relationship with him, and that would include any kind of doc's appt. You might be surprised to find how supportive your own FH may be. Good luck

Your mental and physical health is something he absolutely has a right to know about. - IMO
I don't tell my FH every detail about things.......(like I didn't bother to tell him I joined Weight Watchers........) but anything medical or financial or otherwise that could effect him, I discuss w/ him

You do not need to tell him what goes on during your sessions but I seriously feel you need to tell him this. Firstly, I believe that if you have reservations about trusting him with this info then you need to ask yourself if you have the intimacy level necessary for a successful marriage. Second, if he truly loves you and supports you he should not be judgemental about what type of doctor you are seeing.

Thirdly, and most importantly, I would be deeply hurt if my fiancee was comfortable enough telling total strangers on a public message board something this privatebut not comfortable telling me.

Sorry if it sounds harsh but if you can't tell him this and trust him not to judge you I would be worried. I have a friend who is a lawyer and no diclosing something like this is can be grounds for divorce later on.

IMHO.

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Posted by David'sbride

You do not need to tell him what goes on during your sessions but I seriously feel you need to tell him this. Firstly, I believe that if you have reservations about trusting him with this info then you need to ask yourself if you have the intimacy level necessary for a successful marriage. Second, if he truly loves you and supports you he should not be judgemental about what type of doctor you are seeing.

Thirdly, and most importantly, I would be deeply hurt if my fiancee was comfortable enough telling total strangers on a public message board something this privatebut not comfortable telling me.

Sorry if it sounds harsh but if you can't tell him this and trust him not to judge you I would be worried. I have a friend who is a lawyer and no diclosing something like this is can be grounds for divorce later on.

IMHO.

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hmmm, well this has nothing to do with trust. It has to do with I feel its unneccesary.

I mean, think about hte conversation.

Me: I'm going to a therapist
FH: Why?
Me: I feel I need to go.
FH: But why?
Me: I don't know.
FH: But what's wrong?
Me: I don't know.
FH: Well why do you feel you need to go?
Me: I don't know.
etc, etc, etc..

Now I just don't feel like like going through this right now.

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Posted by nferrandi

I wouldn't keep anything about my health, mental or otherwise, from my FH. If I was concerned enough to see a doctor of any sort, I would like some support from FH. I do however keep silly stuff from him, like if a guy hits on me and stuff like that. There's no need for him to know.

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ditto...