I happened to mention to my Fh that I had a doctors appointment today. He asked me over and over what type of doctor and eventually I just said a general practitioner.
I didn't want to tell him that I am going to see a pyschiatrist. I just feel that there is nothing to tell him until the dr diagnosis me with something or tells me what is wrong.
So my question is do you tell your fiance everything? Do you keep certain things from him?
Dee7772
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
Posted by CubanBride
Oh, well I am not discussing this with him until I know what the deal is. It's not as if there is anything he can do to help me. I don't really know what is wrong. If I knew, I would tell him. But I don't so what's the point?
If it were a medical thing, then I would tell him. I am not ashamed. I have been to therapy before and he knows that.
I would tell my FH if I were going to the doctor. Even if there is nothing he can do to help me, he can still support me. But that is JMO.
CubanBride
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
Posted by JacnRob729
would you be upset if he didnt tell you that he was going to see this dr?? If it were me, I would get mad, then I would think, why doesnt he trust me enough to tell me this...
No. Because if it were something serious, he would tell me. I like to save the drama for more serious issues.
Corduroy94
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
Posted by nov04LIbride
I don't tell him EVERYTHING (mostly just because I know he wouldn't be interested in some of my life--how I bought and returned 6 dresses for the 2 weddings I am going to this week...), but I wouldn't hide going to see a psychiatrist from him. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and then you would be able to discuss your meeting with him...
DITTO - I couldn't have said it better.
Bunnymonkey
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
There is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist, and it does not mean that something is 'wrong' with you if you want to see one. I agree with most of the girls, this is the kind of thing I would never hide from FH. Why do you feel he should not know??
WinterBride2005
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
I just want to mention that you have just told us (strangers) about your psychiatrist appt. yet your FH does not know.
Would he be unsupportive or judge you if you told him?
tourist
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
Itell him just about everything.
In this case I would tell him,because he has more knowledge in this area than me. With feminine issues, I ask how much he wants to know.
Bunnymonkey
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
Posted by CubanBride
Oh, well I am not discussing this with him until I know what the deal is. It's not as if there is anything he can do to help me. I don't really know what is wrong. If I knew, I would tell him. But I don't so what's the point?
If it were a medical thing, then I would tell him. I am not ashamed. I have been to therapy before and he knows that.
the point in sharing personal things with FH, whether you know what the deal is, or not, is so you can grow closer as a couple, and as PARTNERS. You are having an issue and you feel that 'there is nothing he can do to help you?' not even offer support and love? If that is true, then I would re-evaluate the relationship.
heidla
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
I would tell my DH. I understand that you don't have a diagnosis, but I doubt you will get that after one session in therapy. I think that informing him about your feeling the need to go is important. He does not need to know the reason or the details, but by informing him you are at least allowing him the chance to be supportive.
CubanBride
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
Posted by WinterBride2005
I just want to mention that you have just told us (strangers) about your psychiatrist appt. yet your FH does not know.
Would he be unsupportive or judge you if you told him?
Nohe is not judgemental. But he would be 'mr. 20 questions guy' and I cannot deal with that.
Pookiesangel
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
I don't really keep things from him, if anything I just ask for space to think about things before I clue him in on things.
ETA: I have a 20 question's type of guy too, so I hear ya!
CubanBride
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
Posted by Bunnymonkey the point in sharing personal things with FH, whether you know what the deal is, or not, is so you can grow closer as a couple, and as PARTNERS. You are having an issue and you feel that 'there is nothing he can do to help you?' not even offer support and love? If that is true, then I would re-evaluate the relationship.
I don't think you understand. He is very supportive and affectionate and sweet and ya di da. There is just nothing he can do if I don't know what is wrong.
Ugh, this was a way more complicated post than I thought. Nevermind.
I just want to mention that you have just told us (strangers) about your psychiatrist appt. yet your FH does not know.
Would he be unsupportive or judge you if you told him?
Nohe is not judgemental. But he would be 'mr. 20 questions guy' and I cannot deal with that.
Maybe tell him you are going and if he asks alot of extra questions you arent ready to answer, then say so. He is going to be your husband, he will (should) respect your privacy or at least respect the fact that you wanted to tell him part of the situation and you want to wait for the 'big discussion' until you are ready.
d&d05
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
Posted by JacnRob729
would you be upset if he didnt tell you that he was going to see this dr?? If it were me, I would get mad, then I would think, why doesnt he trust me enough to tell me this...
Same here!
AnnBrunoXO
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
I think you should tell your FH about this.
There is nothing wrong about telling him your inquiring about getting more information and need to speak with a doctor.....He might offer you some advise and deserves to know the way you feel / or are feeling...
Besides, this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with - why would you withhold information like this?
He has a right to ask 20 questions if he wants too, the same as you are.....
Just tell him -
Bunnymonkey
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
Posted by CubanBride
Posted by Bunnymonkey the point in sharing personal things with FH, whether you know what the deal is, or not, is so you can grow closer as a couple, and as PARTNERS. You are having an issue and you feel that 'there is nothing he can do to help you?' not even offer support and love? If that is true, then I would re-evaluate the relationship.
I don't think you understand. He is very supportive and affectionate and sweet and ya di da. There is just nothing he can do if I don't know what is wrong.
Ugh, this was a way more complicated post than I thought. Nevermind.
I sincerely apologize if I misunderstood. If he is truly your partner then you can say to him 'This is what is going on, and I don't want 20 questions, just for you to know where I am going, and be a silent support in this...hold my hand...etc etc.' and he will understand.
I think that you should try and examine the real reason you don't want him to know - not wanting to answer 20 questions does sound a little like an excuse. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, I did not intend for it to be.
tourist
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
I kinda get it. I sometimes have to think things over a while if they are bothering me,before I can say anything, to FH becasue it is hard to explain sometimes.But when I can get it close to coherant, I tell him first, b/c he is the onlyperson & I can exlain stuff to when I am still explaining it to myself.
If I couldn't explain it well enough to him, I definitely wouldn't be ready to go to a Dr.
CubanBride
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
Posted by Bunnymonkey I think that you should try and examine the real reason you don't want him to know - not wanting to answer 20 questions does sound a little like an excuse.
You could be right, but I don't really know. Believe me, if I could explain to him how I am feeling, I would. But I can't and that is where the problem lies. I am hoping this therapist will help me verbalize what is going on with me. Then I can talk to FH.
brooklynbridezilla
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
I tell Fh just about everything. I know that if he went to a psychiatrist and didn't tell me, i would be hurt.
Bunnymonkey
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
Posted by CubanBride
Posted by Bunnymonkey I think that you should try and examine the real reason you don't want him to know - not wanting to answer 20 questions does sound a little like an excuse.
You could be right, but I don't really know. Believe me, if I could explain to him how I am feeling, I would. But I can't and that is where the problem lies. I am hoping this therapist will help me verbalize what is going on with me. Then I can talk to FH.
Ahhh...I see. This makes sense. I didn't realize that the problem had to do with him. I hope your work with the therapist is beneficial - be as open and honest as possible. sorry, I am a HUGE advocate of therapy and am studying to be one.
alexlynn7
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Re: Discussion about privacy and your FH.
i tell fh absolutely, positively everything. not always sure that that's the best thing, but it's sort of always been that way between us. but i think i would go the same route as you if i was having an issue with fh himself...
i would definitely work through your feelings with a therapist before broaching the topic with him. you can't take back things you say, and if you're not sure exactly how you feel, you risk hurting fh or even doing irreparable harm to the relationship.
