Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

Original post by julybride444

May 19, 2003 09:29 PM

I've been on boards before, and felt totally out of place (not like here-thanks liweddings!).

Part of it I think is geography, there I'd be interacting with girls having weddings down south or even places like Maryland, and it felt like their weddings were totally different.

Even my family who is only 7 hours away (upstate) thinks some of the things we're doing are nuts (they don't usually have open bar for more than the cocktail hour, and everybody puts the menu items in the invite and people have to choose in advance!). We have friends coming from Texas who don't feel comfortable giving cash, they just don't do that down there. Thankfully we registered for our honeymoon:) (not that the gift is important of course)

Has anyone else had this experience? What other things are done differently elsewhere? Are there any other boards besides here with a lot of NYC/LI brides?

MarciaD Posted: May 20, 2003 01:42 AM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

NY weddings also seem to carry much more 'class', not just show! All of the gals on this site seem to be very sane and not wasteful. I wish I could say the same about my CA friends that are getting married! Brave to liweddings for all the great info I'm getting!

Robeymuse Posted: May 20, 2003 07:23 AM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

I just came back from a wedding in Dallas this weekend. We definitely do things differently in NY. Here, people pay more attention and focus to the reception than the ceremony (I hate to say it) and there it seems the other way around. Their reception was small, cake and punch.
My FI is from Missouri (and still lives there) and he told me that out of all the weddings he has been to...only two were sit down dinners. All the rest were buffets.
NY is a bit different.

Annieb Posted: May 20, 2003 07:40 AM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

YES...They cost more than DOUBLE what a similar wedding would cost anywhere else

tracyg Posted: May 20, 2003 08:09 AM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

Julybride-
On Raymond, Amys parents threw it in PA. It was in a small hall type of thing. The bride and groom were at a small table, and their champagne glasses were those plastic ones where the bottoms come off! LOL And it was a cash bar. And a buffet, which according to Marie, was not a good one!!

Fran M Posted: May 20, 2003 08:53 AM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

ABSOLUTELY!!!

atlastbride Posted: May 20, 2003 08:55 AM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

I recently attended a wedding in Iowa where my FH and I spent over $1,000 for travel, hotel, rental car, food, gift, etc. The wedding was from 2-3pm. The reception began at 5pm. Dinner was a buffet of pork tenderloin, baked turkey, or lasagne. Nothing to drink but water and when the pitcher was empty, there were no refills. Dessert consisted of pastries baked by the bride, the groom, and their families. The favor was a cookbook that included the family recipes that were offered for dessert. No music and the affair was over by 8pm on a Saturday night. FH and I were stunned to say the least. On top of everything, we are still waiting for a thank you card and the wedding was the last weekend in March

FH and I were discussing this the other night. He mentioned that he was disappointed that we didn't even hear a 'thank-you' from them, especially considering we were the only long-term friends who even showed. I got to thinking about it last night and emailed the groom to ask specifically if he had received our gift. I can't wait to hear his response.

cw0904 Posted: May 20, 2003 09:02 AM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

YES I can relate!! We went to a wedding in Houston recently and it was so different. No cocktail hour, more of a fruit assorted table and cheeses. The menu selection was surf and turf and everyone got it. I don't know what else was different that I can remember but those two were the most obvious.
OH forgot to add they actually did a farewell leave rather than party till the end like most of us end up doing here.

Rob-luvs-me Posted: May 20, 2003 09:06 AM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

I don't know that it is always true. But there are definite differences. My cousin got married in Dallas and he had a beautiful ceremony at the SMU chapel and then gorgeous reception at the Dallas country club. They had a beautiful reception with a great band- that with a great cocktail hour. I thought it was quite elegant. The differences I noticed were they had very little to no flowers -other than the personal flowers - I couldn't tell you what the centerpieces were but they were very simple. There were little things that made a slight difference - did I think it was less fancy or less elegent - no it just had some different elements. But it was a great wedding.

We lived in Nashville for about 6 years. My parents went to MANY weddings while they were there (my father was a partner is a larger firm down there and they went to most of the associate's weddings.)

In Nashville the weddings are very different but elegent events. The weddings my parents went to were usually very formal events. Black or white tie with everyone dressed to the hilt. BUT they would easily spend 30,000-50,000 on FLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But they would either do a passed cocktail reception with champagne and cake or simple cake and champagne and these weddings 18 years ago were costing 50-70K and OFTEN NO sit down meal or buffet!

Betty Posted: May 20, 2003 09:45 AM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!My brother is getting married in June (2 mos before me) in New Hampshire. They do it sooooo differently. FIrst of all they pay for everything separately so it ends up costing just as much. He is having it at a castle so he has to pay for the site. Then he has to pay extra for cocktail hour food, totally seperate bill for alchohol (and they pay $4 PER DRINK), extra for cake and EVERYTHING ELSE..nothing is included. They also don't have half as much food. He is from Long Island and we grew up working for a caterer so he knows what it is like. He always says there is nothing like a NY wedding.

They also eat everything first...even the wedding cake AND THEN dance!!! He is trying to get his caterer to change this but he is having a hard time.

HearzBellz Posted: May 20, 2003 09:49 AM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

We are sooooo different in the NYC area. My out of town guests are in culture shock!

nylisa Posted: May 20, 2003 09:59 AM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

My mom's friend's daughter got married last October in NJ. FI, my sister and I went to the wedding (parents were invited but could not attend). We had to select our entree from three choices when we received the invitation, instead of flowers she had balloons (which to me made it look more Sweet Sixteenish) and instead of centerpieces the hall supplied candleabras but the only thing was that the candles were already used, she had a dias for her whole BP and on the dias were bears dressed in dresses and tuxes that her mom made (which made it seem even more Sweet Sixteenish). It was an OK wedding but not something that I would have done.

b2b0803 Posted: May 20, 2003 12:29 PM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

Here in NY everyone has to 'keep up with the Jones'' or else you're looked down upon (weddings, communions, etc) unfortunately. I think if you attend a NY wedding there is an expectation. We do have some great weddings here though. EVERYTHING on Long Island is so expensive compared to the rest of the country, its just how it is. My friend from Iowa, who now lives in NY, thinks I'm crazy! In Iowa, at least the town she's from, has maybe 2 catering halls you can use and the hottest 'expensive' entree is ham salad sandwiches, I kid you not, that's what she said. But to each his own. Marrying the person you love is most important, everything else is just fluff.

WithThisRing Posted: May 20, 2003 12:37 PM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

A woman I used to work with her family comes from Wisconsin. She got married in NY and her family thought everything was so fancy and that her husband was a millionaire.

julybride444 Posted: May 20, 2003 02:40 PM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

That's what's happening to me! We're certainly not rich, but my family thinks we are based on our wedding plans....

kelly6273 Posted: May 20, 2003 02:48 PM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

Weddings are so much more money on LI but I think it's worth every penny!

spel Posted: May 20, 2003 04:34 PM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

i've always found the gift thing so interesting. in other places, guests bring registry gifts to the wedding, rarely ever a check. there is a big gift table with it all piled up. obviously very different (although i always see one or two big boxes all wrapped up at NY weddings- out of town guests??).

sanmik Posted: May 20, 2003 04:36 PM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

The only place that do weddings as good, if not better than NY - is Toronto, Canada. I had a neighbor from West Virginia that turned several different shades of blue-gray when she heard the cost of an average wedding here.

dubliner Posted: May 20, 2003 04:39 PM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

NY v. Ireland

SO so different, but this is my town now, and we're doing it like NYers

Scoop Posted: May 20, 2003 05:10 PM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

Yes, I do believe NY weddings are much different. Our good friends are from Pittsburgh and they sent the menu card with their invitation. It was the first time I had seen this.

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted: May 20, 2003 05:17 PM

Re: Do you feel like NY weddings are totally diff. than elsewhere?

This is one of the things that makes LIW so great!! Some family members and friends would never understand us if we tried to explain these crazy weddings of ours!!! But we LIW girls stick together!