E-ring drama

Would you say something to your fiancé if you’re unhappy with your engagement ring?

Here goes the dilemma:

Coworker got engaged last night, but she is unhappy with the size or her diamond “smaller than 1 carat” (it looks like one carat to me). So, she came over and asked if she should tell her FH that she wants a bigger diamond. I advised her not to do so because is rude and would crush his feelings. She thinks that by telling him, he’s going to get her another ring……
Thoughts anyone??

WHoa, that is rough. I don't know what I would do, but I think I would suck it up and deal. It's not about the size of the ring really....it's about the committment, but I guess that is easier said than felt!

I would never tell my FH to get me a bigger ring.... Everrrrrrr!! I think its really rude.
She could always upgrade her ring in a few years for their anniversary or something.

Tell her to forget about telling him. All it will do is hurt his feelings. He put time, effort, and love into picking this ring and this diamond for her. He spent whatever he was able to, and would probably just feel inadequate if she asked for a bigger one.

Also tell her that an engagement ring is something that is supposed to have meaning to her regardless of the size/money spent on it. It is about the promise behind the ring, not the size of the rock. It represents the relationship, and the love in the relationship. It is something that will forever remind her of the day he asked her to marry him. It shouldnt be replaced. In my opinion, shes being very superficial and ungrateful.

HTH

I think it depends on her reasoning- if its just for a bigger rock- not cool
sometimes the ring does not suit a style or a work environment

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

Tell her to forget about telling him. All it will do is hurt his feelings. He put time, effort, and love into picking this ring and this diamond for her. He spent whatever he was able to, and would probably just feel inadequate if she asked for a bigger one.

Also tell her that an engagement ring is something that is supposed to have meaning to her regardless of the size/money spent on it. It is about the promise behind the ring, not the size of the rock. It represents the relationship, and the love in the relationship. It is something that will forever remind her of the day he asked her to marry him. It shouldnt be replaced. In my opinion, shes being very superficial and ungrateful.

HTH

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Very well said!

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

Tell her to forget about telling him. All it will do is hurt his feelings. He put time, effort, and love into picking this ring and this diamond for her. He spent whatever he was able to, and would probably just feel inadequate if she asked for a bigger one.

Also tell her that an engagement ring is something that is supposed to have meaning to her regardless of the size/money spent on it. It is about the promise behind the ring, not the size of the rock. It represents the relationship, and the love in the relationship. It is something that will forever remind her of the day he asked her to marry him. It shouldnt be replaced. In my opinion, shes being very superficial and ungrateful.

HTH

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I totally agree with you

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Posted by CMBove

I think it depends on her reasoning- if its just for a bigger rock- not cool
sometimes the ring does not suit a style or a work environment

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She works at a bank (she's an analyst).

She told me that they have been together for 7 years and she always spoke about wanting to get a 2 carat ring. She feels that he should have waited a bit longer until he was able to afford it…… I was speechless!!


But I feel sad that she doesn’t like her ring and she doesn’t want to wear it to the office.
I can only imagine her thoughts when I got engaged because my ring is less than a carat too

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Posted by KYBride09

She told me that they have been together for 7 years and she always spoke about wanting to get a 2 carat ring. She feels that he should have waited a bit longer until he was able to afford it…… I was speechless!!


But I feel sad that she doesn’t like her ring and she doesn’t want to wear it to the office.
I can only imagine her thoughts when I got engaged because my ring is less than a carat too

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Clearly if her FH could afford a 2 carat ring, he would have gotten her one. She needs to stop thinking so selfishly, IMO. Send her this pic and tell her this can be her two carat ring....

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Posted by Cacarina

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Posted by KYBride09

She told me that they have been together for 7 years and she always spoke about wanting to get a 2 carat ring. She feels that he should have waited a bit longer until he was able to afford it…… I was speechless!!


But I feel sad that she doesn’t like her ring and she doesn’t want to wear it to the office.
I can only imagine her thoughts when I got engaged because my ring is less than a carat too

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Clearly if her FH could afford a 2 carat ring, he would have gotten her one. She needs to stop thinking so selfishly, IMO. Send her this pic and tell her this can be her two carat ring....

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Seriously, I think the E-ring means so much more than it's size. When I was proposed to, the LAST thing I thought about was how big a diamond he got me. All I needed to know was that he loves me, wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and that he got what he could afford.

I have a friend who's always saying that the size of the ring determines how much he loves you. I HATE that! Some people just make more money that others. Maybe if the diamond is so big ,that actually means he's compensating for something. <~~~ both ideas just as stupid as the other.

If he could definitely afford a lot more, but got you less - THEN i'd have a problem. But it doesn't seem that's the issue in this case.

Some people really need to get the priorities straight. When my parents got engaged 42 years ago, the size, clarity, etc were not important. Her ring is a carat and they've had 40.5 years of marriage so far. How anyone can ask for a bigger ring is beyond me. It's the sentiment that matters and the fact that FH chose that special ring for her. Tell her to get over it and love her ring because the man she loves gave it to her.

Ps: sorry im hostile lol

it's a hard position to be in... i think size is a touchy subject, but if DH had gotten me a ring I hated (not so much size but design) I'd be upset... because I wouldn't want to change my e-ring, and i'd be 'stuck' with it forever. i'm sure i'd get used to it and learn to love it. I dont think I'd say anything to him, but you never know unless you're in that position.

If she does say something to him, it will probably hurt him a lot -- especially because of the complaint she does have 'it's not big enough'

I think if she truly loved her FH and wanted to be with him the rest of her life should be happy that after 7 years he proposed and shouldn't care if she got a carat or two.
I went to pick my e-ring with FH, he was looking at the big ones while I was looking at the smaller ones. Big doesn't always mean better. I could have picked a big rock for myself, but I didn't because I know how hard FH works. I knew he could afford it, but chose not to, I rather save that extra $ for the wedding.

My FH would seriously be crushed. We do not have alot of money and saved for a year to buy my ring. He spent months odering it and choosing a stone etc. If I had picked my ring on my own this might not have been the one I picked but I love it to death when I think about what it means.

For a girl to openly say at work 'My ring is so little im embarrased to wear it' Says something about her. Im sure after 7 years her FH wouldn't be surprized if she told him. It's going to come out sooner or later that she hates it. I guess now is better then closer to the wedding.