My friend is sleeping with a girl 16 years younger than he is. I want to be all liberal about it, but it kind of makes me queasy. She's just TOO young
What do you guys think? Is love blind, ro do you think people shold date peopel their own age or close to it?
LIBrideinBWI
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Re: How do you feel about May/December Romances?
I am 8 years older than FI. He's 24, I'm 32. We met when he was just 19
By the way, he LIED about his age (said he was 25).
Honestly though - he's not like anyone else his own age. All of his friends are my age and married with kids. It depends on maturity I suppose.....(thank God I'm so immature )
Amy
LFitzy79
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Re: How do you feel about May/December Romances?
I made a huge mistake and dated someone who was 16 years older....and my boss at the time, it went way too far, and we lived together for a time....I realize now how unhealthy it was.... I was at a really low point in my life, I had no self esteem, and this guy was like poison....he ruined everything he touched and used me, and everyone else around him.... It took me a long time to get myself untangled (he stole from me, he broke into my parents house after I moved home, he showed up at my job and made scenes) it was awful.... I wish I could forget it, but all I do is feel ashamed of the whole thing. If he's dating someone that much younger, there is something off.....
marymoon
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Re: How do you feel about May/December Romances?
Posted by LFitzy79
I made a huge mistake and dated someone who was 16 years older....and my boss at the time, it went way too far, and we lived together for a time....I realize now how unhealthy it was.... I was at a really low point in my life, I had no self esteem, and this guy was like poison....he ruined everything he touched and used me, and everyone else around him.... It took me a long time to get myself untangled (he stole from me, he broke into my parents house after I moved home, he showed up at my job and made scenes) it was awful.... I wish I could forget it, but all I do is feel ashamed of the whole thing. If he's dating someone that much younger, there is something off.....
WOW. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
That's how I feel. Something's off. It could be the fact that he really doesn't seem happy. It SEEMS unhealthy. I don't think an age difference make a relatioship inherently flawed, but I feel like in a lot of cases, it's just weird. He went to colege young, so literally he was in college 20 years ago...basically when she was born, he was almsot done with college, and now she's in college, what could they have in common? I mean i'm sayng this and he's one of my cloests friends and he;s 14 years older than I am, but we're not DATING. We've been friends for a long time and I mean, even said 'what if' you know what if I was ten yeard older or he was ten years younger, but we completely acknowledged that the age difference was too much. And she's younger than I am. When he thought she was 25 I was all for it. I think there's a huge difference between 20 and 25 even, and I'm right in the middle saying this.
Another thing is that my dad just ran off with somsone 17 years younger than he is..only marginally older than my sister, and about the same age as my BIL and it honestly makes me want to throw up....I don't really associate the two situations, but that could be adding to the whole 'ew' factor for me.
Maybe when one person is 30 and the other person is 47 it's not that ig a deal, both are established adults, but when one person is in late 30's and the other is in college, to me, it's like, what could they have in common? it's gotta be fulfilling some daddy complex or something. I know with his particular frined, even in our friendship for the first few years, we had a very fiduciary type relationship. Only in recent years has it become equal. When I was 20 and he was in his early thirties, I looked up to him as a big brother/mentor, so I can only imagine her being 20 and him in his late 30's, what she sees him as.
I don't feel that I have a right to tell anyone who to date, I just rbought it up for a discussion topic, since it came up
Jax430
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Re: How do you feel about May/December Romances?
My gut reaction is to think that there's something wrong with such a big age difference. However, my sister's friend started dating a guy 13 years older than her. She was 22 or 23 at the time, and he was 36. We thought she was nuts, as she was this fun, outgoing, lively girl, and he was a very intellectual English professor (not her professor!). Meanwhile, they have now been married for about 11 years and are a wonderful couple, and seem to have a happier marriage than many other couples I know.
usuk2004
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Re: How do you feel about May/December Romances?
I've said it before and I'll say it again - there's a lid for every pot!
You do have to wonder sometimes how much people could have in common, but I guess when two people love each other, it doesn't really matter. I dated a guy who was about 10 or 11 years older than me once and it was just too much for me. It wasn't that I wasn't mature enough...it was just that we had such different life experiences, etc. (this coming from someon who married a foreigner!!! )
lrs2005
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Re: How do you feel about May/December Romances?
When I was 22 I dated a guy that was 37. It was fun and I enjoyed it. He was a nice guy but it never would have worked out for the long term.
N.Y.bride
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Re: How do you feel about May/December Romances?
I think it depends how old they are. To me as we get older age matters less and less.
SuzBride
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Re: How do you feel about May/December Romances?
It depends on the people and the motives.
I've known individuals in May/December romances who were perfect for one another, while other had less than pure motives (which is fine as long as both individuals are aware of these motives)!
