I am having serious doubts

So sorry you are going through this..but it is better now then later!!

Good luck!!

I'm sooo sorry you are feeling so alone with your feelings

Never let the fear of what other people will say hold you back from doing what's right for you. Yes they will talk, yes you may feel embarrassed, but it will all blow over. You need to focus on what's right for you and for your life and if FH is not 'the one' then it's better to realize it now rather than a divorce later on.

My advice is to postpone the wedding and talk to him about everything you're feeling. If you still feel as strongly and still have serious doubts then call it off. It seems like your gut is taking you in that direction and often our gut is right.

Feel free to FM if you just want to vent/talk anything.

---

Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

People make mistakes and screw up all the time. Who cares if you 'pushed' him into proposing? You didn't put a gun to his head and make him so get that thought out of your head.

It sounds as if you know what's the right thing to do. Don't worry about what other people think. A few people tsk-tsking vs. an unhappy life? I'd take the tsk-tsking any day.

Divorce is a lot more expensive, involves a lot more time, a lot more emotion, and a lot more tongue-wagging than calling off your wedding.

---

Really well said. I had to crash because we were in a similar situation with the proposal. not going to get into but suffice it to say, timing was not expected and cause some internal dialogues that were difficult to handle.

I really had cold feet before the wedding. Dh and I were fighting ALL the time and it got to the point I almost called it off. But we worked through it because when we sat back and took the arguing out of the equation, we couldnt imagine life with anyone else. We did the couples therapy thing and it worked for us because neither of us was at the point yet where we didn't care anymore. But we STILL have to work at it and remidn ourselves of whats important and try to let go of the small stuff.

But..if thats the place you find yourself in, PLEASE think long and hard as other ladies ahve said about marrying this man. we ALL fight. Its part of life. Marriage takes work. But if you feel so strongly about this that you think tis not worth it..it probably isn't.

Good luck!

I am so sorry that you are going through this. From what i read I get the feeling that you already have the answer in your heart.... it may be hard, but i would sit down with FH and talk with him. I know you said that if you talk with him u may just call it off.... but what if talking to him will make it all better... what if talking to him will make u realize why you wanted him to propose to u in the first plcae, and bring back that spark and u too can be a happy bride.

YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY.... that is the best advice I can give u!

If you have to go to such lengths to post here then please seriously think about what you want for yourself and what you want your life to be. Perhaps go and talk to a professional - there is nothing wrong with it - it could help to clarify things for you.

---

Posted by serious-doubts

I constantly think that I can do better.

I think that maybe I was so wrapped up in trying to get him to propose that I let a lot of things slide -- things that are potential relationship killers.

---

The fact that you have doubts and don't have a great feeling about marring him, you owe it to yourself to not go through with it. I think it is best to talk to FH about how you feel, even if you may call it off when talking to him. You never know what his response will be. He may not be taking you serious right now and may need a wake up call. Believe me, you'll be so happy just to get it off your chest. Why get married just to make everyone else happy, you two are the ones who should be happy. Just talk to him and see what happens. If it ends by you saying you're calling it off and he doesn't respond, let it be on him and just walk away with your head held high.

I've been engaged once before to the wrong guy and I have no regrets that I called off the engagement and wedding. It's the best thing I did, cause it gave me the opportunity to meet the right guy , my FH. He's the best and I have NO DOUBTS!!!!

Good luck.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Just be very careful and ask yourself if you are feeling this way due to the stress in planning a wedding vs. how your relationship is before and after.
Many relationships get tested during the planning stage but only you know if you felt this way since before the wedding and as the time gets closer the fears are coming to the forefront.
Good luck and take some time to yourself, go away for a weekend with some friends and see how you feel.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I had read a book a book by Dr. Robin Smith called Lies at the Altar. It was right before FH and I got engaged and it really makes you think about how 2 people can live together and spend a life together. It also opened up alot of discussion for us about things that you may not feel comfortable talking about. (religion, money, etc.)

I wish you luck and FM me if you need to talk.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know this must be such a terrible situation and totally understand how you feel about being embarassed, but don't let that get in the way of what you want. I think you should really sit down and have a talk with your FH. Remember, this is a huge decision and after the wedding it will only be the two of you...so it doesn't matter what people say or think. I've learned that sometimes people are so quick to judge and criticize, but not as quick to help you out when you're going through problems. I hope you can find clarity in your mind and come to a decision that will make you happy.

I am so sorry to hear. I get like that at times b/c FH can be lazy and not driven as I am. Our difference is that the good things shine through more. I hope you can figure it all out before it to late!!!!

---

Posted by laurak102476

From someone already divorced, believe me, if you are having doubts now, please please think long and hard while you can. Things worked out in the end for me, my ex and I are good friends and now we are both re-marrying. Only you can decide if you are truly meant to be, but you really have to do some sole searching. Please FM me if you want to talk...

---

coming from the exact same situation I couldnt agree more. I think people usually just chalk it up to cold feet while that is NOT always the case.
I learned a lot by going through what I did. Feel free to FM me as well :)

I totally agree with what everyone is saying on here BUT I also think it's normal to be fighting with FH more than usual and to be having these thoughts. Yours sound more intense than what might be deemed normal but before giving up...talk to him and see his reaction and ask yourself whether or not you can truly imagine life without him. My fh and I are opposties too when it comes to getting things done and like you..I have been ripping my hair out of my head lately BUT it's because we have sooo sooo much to do. He just doesn't stress out the way I do nor does he have that same sense of urgency but what guy does?

All in all though you have to weigh the good with the bad because no one is perfect. If you feel the bad outweighs the good or that you can't overlook the bad...then you should def re-consider. Otherwise, it may just be the stress of the wedding getting the best of you. Take a deep breath and think long and hard about what you're doing, about what you have...before you throw it away.

Good luck!!!