Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

Original post by Collweenie21

Oct 13, 2007 01:58 PM

to cover up a tattoo on her arm?? I mean... I love tattoos, but there not for me, and I just don't want them in my wedding photos. Would you be insulted?

MrsD71208 Posted: Oct 13, 2007 04:37 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

I think you should let her know that you are going to ask the photographer to place her in spots where the tattoo won't really be visible. That is better, especially since her tattoo is a memorial. I would be offended, especially since you know beforehand that I have a tattoo. JMO

NC1011 Posted: Oct 13, 2007 05:13 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

I have a BM who has several tattoos (in addition to several face peircings) and she is thinking about getting another on her forearm. All I keep thinking is 'Please not before the wedding' but I wasn't sure if I had the right to say anything about it. I don't wanna insult her, but at the same time, I want my pictures to look nice.
Lucky for me, my mom will probably end up handling this situation before I even have a chance to. Leave it to mom

Autumn08 Posted: Oct 13, 2007 05:14 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

Honestly, not to be judgemental but when I see pictures with tattoos that's all I can see. My focus is not on the bride or groom anymore. If there is anyway to cover up the tattoo at least for formal pictures I wouldn't hesitate to ask, but of course it's all how you do it.

MJDoc12 Posted: Oct 13, 2007 06:09 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

i don't think i would ask my friend to cover up her tats -- but that's just me.

like u said--you can ask and see what they say. they can usually cover it up easily with airbrush make up. i think that if you want her to do this though--you should pay for the add'l cost for it. that would be where i think it would be a little more fair.

i had a big bruise on my arm from when a nurse took blood...and she destroyed my arm. (i guess her cracker jack box nursing degree wasn't that great). so when i was in a wedding last month, jacqueline nicole (the artist) made sure to cover it up for me with airbrush

LoveRocks Posted: Oct 13, 2007 06:20 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

Perhaps its because I have tattoos, but I would never ask someone to cover them up, particularly if it was a memorial tattoo. You have every right to ask as the bride, but if someone asked me to cover something so close to my heart, I would be offended. I would ask your photographer to try and pose her in ways where it wouldn't be exposed.

nifheim Posted: Oct 13, 2007 06:25 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

i have a bm that is covered in tatts and i wouldn't dare ask her to cover them up. But this is me

jennandrolo Posted: Oct 13, 2007 06:28 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

if it is a memorial tattoo i wouldnt ask her to cover it. photographers can photoshop anything out now so they can easily photoshop the tat out.

Soon2beAlberti Posted: Oct 13, 2007 06:29 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

your photographer should be able to photoshop the tattoos out. I would see what your photographer says first before you possibly get on anybody's bad side.

lyndanoelle Posted: Oct 13, 2007 07:13 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

It depends on the girl

I have a tatoo on my higher back that would have been shown and I asked the bride if she wanted it covered.

The thing is, a tatoo is part of your body, if it is something You know they hate, then yes but otherwise your asking her to be in your wedding party as she is.

I feel it is the same as only asking one of your bms to have their makup done. Its a touchy subject

kimNanthony Posted: Oct 13, 2007 08:16 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

One of my BM has a large tattoo on her arm and I didnt ask her to cover it but she immediately offered!

JimmysPants Posted: Oct 13, 2007 10:28 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

I personally dont think I would ask her to cover it. If she offered then maybe i would say 'okay' but otherwise nah I wouldnt say anything b/c I asked them to be in my wedding party b/c of what they meant to me.

katleigh3 Posted: Oct 13, 2007 10:33 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

I don't know if I think it's 'rude'...I just wouldn't want to ask someone to cover their tattoo...It's part of who they are...

kkss1419 Posted: Oct 13, 2007 10:39 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

Wow, that's a tough one! I love tattoos and have never thought anything but positive things about them (I have one and FH has 6) On the other hand I have seen pictures of wedding parties where one of the BM had a very visible tattoo and it was the first thing my eye was drawn to in the pictures. I would suggest talking to her about it. I mean if you think about it if you don't talk to her and just have it photoshoped out later, wouldn't that offend her as well?

lookitscassie Posted: Oct 13, 2007 11:05 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

i dont think it would be rude. i am facing the same problem. except i have a tattoo on my wrist that i got for my dad b/c hes fighting cancer right now, and i know he wont be at my wedding so i dont want to cover it, that way i have him there with me in a way. so i feel i cant ask any of the girls to cover theirs.

TattooAnkh Posted: Oct 13, 2007 11:05 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

Posted by LoveRocks

Perhaps its because I have tattoos, but I would never ask someone to cover them up, particularly if it was a memorial tattoo. You have every right to ask as the bride, but if someone asked me to cover something so close to my heart, I would be offended. I would ask your photographer to try and pose her in ways where it wouldn't be exposed.

I agree wholeheartedly.

anneandchris Posted: Oct 13, 2007 11:12 PM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

This is a tough one. As of right now I don't have this problem (one of BM could come in the day before the wedding with something new on her but who knows) -- Anyway -- I am drawn to them when I see them -- even in pictures.

Try talking to your photographer first and see what they can do about positioning and airbrushing. If it isn't going to be a problem or huge cost maybe let it be. If it is a huge cost then talk to your friend. After all she is a friend and while you love her body art and all -- it just isn't your thing and she loves you regardless. You are doing the right thing by offering to pay. If your honest and approach it the right way it shouldn't be a big deal.

Snickers76 Posted: Oct 14, 2007 12:02 AM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

I would never ask a bm to cover a tattoo for my wedding pictures. I don't think that a BM's tattoo will become the center of attention in your pictures, but that is my opinion. I think if someone asked me to cover my tattoos for their wedding I would say no. It is, after all, a permanent part of their body now. But it is ultimately up to you and your BM.

040508Bride Posted: Oct 14, 2007 12:09 AM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

i think it's worse to have a photog just 'photoshop' them out.....obviously she'll see the pics and be like 'ummmmmmmmmm???' ya know?? If it bothers you, think about asking her how she feels. I'd say something like 'I know how meaningful your tattoos are for you, but I saw some pics from other weddings, and didn't like the way they came out in pics....from a distance they look like blotches...blah blah blah (it's true...there was a review last year i remember seeing in the pic one of the BMs had a shoulder tat, and in some of the picks it looked like an awful birthmark...it wasn't until the end of the review where the tat actually showed up and you can tell what it is...) would you be offended if the makeup artist covered it up for the day? If it bothers you, then by all means, do not do it.'

something like that.....idk....such a tough subject. My BM has music notes and butterflies all over the place.....and they aren't particularly dark so i'm afraid of what they will look like in pics.

XFINALLYX Posted: Nov 24, 2007 02:34 AM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

i personally think its rude. why does it matter so much that the person has a tattoo?? what if it was a birth mark? would you ask her to cover that too?? tattoos are a part of you (well at least should be), why would you want your bm to be uncomfortable and not 'herself' because you are afraid its going to steal your thunder??

for my wedding, i didnt want the girls to have their hair half up half down.. that was ridiculous of me because when it comes down to it, no one was more important than me (well maybe my husband)

i dont know if its because im heavily tattooed, but i hate i see these posts. you girls are too obsessed with what a wedding is supposed to be, or look like. make your wedding your own.

AllyDrew1108 Posted: Nov 24, 2007 09:08 AM

Re: Is it rude to ask one of your BM's

I'm afraid to ask mine. All of my BMs have visible tats, one girl is totally covered, but I'm just too embarrassed to ask.

Personally I don't care, I just have annoying conservative family members. But whatever.

I wouldn't be insulted - though I have none. I think it depends on the girls. I know one of my girls would have a fit.