Is it something in the air? A lot of 'conflict' on these Boards Lately

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Posted by Beth1210


personally if you think something I post is Tacky- tell me

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that's just it Beth, who the heLL is anyone else to tell you that your taste is tacky...

I mean it's one thing to be a social DEVIANT, but if you like a big poofy purple yellow and orange stripped dress, then so be it....

one persons tacky is another's treasure!

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Posted by MissingTheBGene

I just don't understand why people get all crazy and defensive by what is said on the internet. Who gives a $hit - do what you effing want, but be prepared that others may not agree with you. But that's just me.

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I agree.

Not to butt in, but isnt this the reason why we have these boards??? When I ask for an opinion, I rather people tell me their ture opinion then just have everyone tell me things just because they think thats what I want to hear.

I guess the only conclusion is what our parents always taught us... If you dont have anything nice to say.. Dont say anything at all.

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Posted by JessicaM.

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Posted by Beth1210


personally if you think something I post is Tacky- tell me

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that's just it Beth, who the heLL is anyone else to tell you that your taste is tacky...

I mean it's one thing to be a social DEVIANT, but if you like a big poofy purple yellow and orange stripped dress, then so be it....

one persons tacky is another's treasure!

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OMG...who told you what my mom was wearing??? I didn't post it yet!

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Posted by JessicaM.

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Posted by Beth1210


personally if you think something I post is Tacky- tell me

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that's just it Beth, who the heLL is anyone else to tell you that your taste is tacky...

I mean it's one thing to be a social DEVIANT, but if you like a big poofy purple yellow and orange stripped dress, then so be it....

one persons tacky is another's treasure!

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But, if someone's asking for opinions or asking 'do you think this is tacky...?' They have to be prepared to get responses that are both supportive and not. Having said that, I don't think the non-supportive posts have to be rude. They could simply say I don't like that personally or yes, I do think that's tacky. They don't need to personally attack someone. Am I making any sense?? I feel like I'm talking in circles!!

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Posted by SIBride06

Not to butt in, but isnt this the reason why we have these boards??? When I ask for an opinion, I rather people tell me their ture opinion then just have everyone tell me things just because they think thats what I want to hear.

I guess the only conclusion is what our parents always taught us... If you dont have anything nice to say.. Dont say anything at all.

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Ahhh!!! Case in point - Christine did yell at us for not telling her she looked like Mimi from the Drew Carey show after one of her make-up trials.

Leslie, that was discussed on here before and I believe a poll was taken at one point....

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Posted by JessicaM.

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Posted by Beth1210


personally if you think something I post is Tacky- tell me

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that's just it Beth, who the heLL is anyone else to tell you that your taste is tacky...

I mean it's one thing to be a social DEVIANT, but if you like a big poofy purple yellow and orange stripped dress, then so be it....

one persons tacky is another's treasure!

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so people should only respond with positive comments? or is it still ok if you tell someone you don't like something nicely

If people post asking for opinions- then I think you should be honest or say nothing- I would hate to think people are lying to me to be nice
( which I never do- so if I say I love it- I mean it)


If I post something it's b/c I need help- I want a broad range of opnions- but we can still do it in a nice way I think

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Posted by SIBride06

Not to butt in, but isnt this the reason why we have these boards??? When I ask for an opinion, I rather people tell me their ture opinion then just have everyone tell me things just because they think thats what I want to hear.

I guess the only conclusion is what our parents always taught us... If you dont have anything nice to say.. Dont say anything at all.

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Firm believer in that...if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. I hate the negativity here, we all deal with enough stress during wedding planning from other outside issues/people. I like coming here to chat with other brides in the same situation.

Now, if someone doesn't agree with my opinion, I'm not going to get all bent, and I will post my own opions even if I disagree with something. I just dislike how ridiculously mean and obnoxious some people can get.

Ok, I love the 06ers!!!! That's it.

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Posted by Goldi1021

I was the house manager of my sorority. We had 33 women living in one house at one time. I learned this... that when you put a lot of women together in a common place, they all tend to have their menses at the same time....hmmmmm ANY THOUGHTS?????

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I agree...for some strange reason, all the women in my office suffer from PMS AT THE SAME TIME...weird...

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Posted by Beth1210

so if I say I love it- I mean it


If I post something it's b/c I need help- I want a broad range of opnions- but we can still do it in a nice way I think

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Thank you for your honesty and I completely agree... I think there's a nice way of saying you don't like something. There's no need to be hurtful.

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Posted by Jennie0898


But, if someone's asking for opinions or asking 'do you think this is tacky...?' They have to be prepared to get responses that are both supportive and not. Having said that, I don't think the non-supportive posts have to be rude. They could simply say I don't like that personally or yes, I do think that's tacky. They don't need to personally attack someone. Am I making any sense?? I feel like I'm talking in circles!!

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You are making sense. At least to me!

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Posted by Beth1210

so people should only respond with positive comments? or is it still ok if you tell someone you don't like something nicely

If people post asking for opinions- then I think you should be honest or say nothing- I would hate to think people are lying to me to be nice
( which I never do- so if I say I love it- I mean it)


If I post something it's b/c I need help- I want a broad range of opnions- but we can still do it in a nice way I think

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I agree as well.

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Posted by Jennie0898

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Posted by SIBride06

Not to butt in, but isnt this the reason why we have these boards??? When I ask for an opinion, I rather people tell me their ture opinion then just have everyone tell me things just because they think thats what I want to hear.

I guess the only conclusion is what our parents always taught us... If you dont have anything nice to say.. Dont say anything at all.

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Ahhh!!! Case in point - Christine did yell at us for not telling her she looked like Mimi from the Drew Carey show after one of her make-up trials.

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I wasn't really mad...LOL...but I definitely looked like Mimi!

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Posted by MissingTheBGene

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Posted by Jennie0898


But, if someone's asking for opinions or asking 'do you think this is tacky...?' They have to be prepared to get responses that are both supportive and not. Having said that, I don't think the non-supportive posts have to be rude. They could simply say I don't like that personally or yes, I do think that's tacky. They don't need to personally attack someone. Am I making any sense?? I feel like I'm talking in circles!!

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You are making sense. At least to me!

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I was trying to say that also- I agree

But we should still be HONEST with each other-otherwise I don't need to come on here if everyone is going to lie to me

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Posted by cindyandkevin

I'll defend myself once if someone attacks me, but I refuse to go back and forth. It's just not worth it!!!

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I missed all the drama yesterday (or was it the day before?). In any event, speaking from experience with other message boards, I have found that defending one's self usually causes more problems for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, whether or not the original poster was deliberately trying to be insulting they will get huffy and defensive and insult 2nd poster for accusing them of being rude or whatever. If original poster did it on purpose they are pissed they got caught, and if it was an accidental insult, they are naturally offended for being misinterpreted. This in turn will cause 2nd poster to defend themselves again - thus setting up a vicious cycle. (I know you said you wouldn't go back and forth, I am just speaking in generalities based on past experience). It also means that your 'friends' will come run to aid in your defense, thereby ratcheting it up a notch.

Second, there are some people out there that just thrive on conflict - especially anonymous conflict like you get on a message board in cyberspace. It doesn't matter what you do with those kinds of people they will continue to wreak havoc.

I once had someone contact the NYS Bar Association over something I wrote on a message board. (I know she did this because she CC'd me on the email). The law is my livelihood, and while nothing happened to me personally, my friends on said message board went absolutely nuts. It was ugly, vicious, and nasty for months. The poor girl never knew what hit her.

These boards here are for a specific purpose. To share ideas, get feedback and get help & support while we all plan our weddings. I can't see any reason for conflict. (although I do understand the hurt and pain over 9/11 - I had someone at both the WTC and the Pentagon - one made it, one didn't).

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Posted by Jennie0898

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Posted by JessicaM.

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Posted by Beth1210


personally if you think something I post is Tacky- tell me

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that's just it Beth, who the heLL is anyone else to tell you that your taste is tacky...

I mean it's one thing to be a social DEVIANT, but if you like a big poofy purple yellow and orange stripped dress, then so be it....

one persons tacky is another's treasure!

---

But, if someone's asking for opinions or asking 'do you think this is tacky...?' They have to be prepared to get responses that are both supportive and not. Having said that, I don't think the non-supportive posts have to be rude. They could simply say I don't like that personally or yes, I do think that's tacky. They don't need to personally attack someone. Am I making any sense?? I feel like I'm talking in circles!!

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it bother's me when people ask IS THIS TACKY too- why set yourself up like that.

anyway, I am not saying not to post an honest opinion. I have always been honest in my opinions and hopefully have done that successfully without being hurtful. it can be done.

even simply saying ....not a big fan of purple and orange together is better than saying I think that's tacky...even if you throw the ubiquitous IMO or JMHO on the end of it...

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Posted by Jennie0898

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Posted by Beth1210

so if I say I love it- I mean it


If I post something it's b/c I need help- I want a broad range of opnions- but we can still do it in a nice way I think

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Thank you for your honesty and I completely agree... I think there's a nice way of saying you don't like something. There's no need to be hurtful.

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Agree 100%!!!!! I've had some BEYOTCHES tell me something I was doing was 'super-cheesy' and 'totally 80's'. I swear if she said that in front of me..............

There's a HUGE difference in saying 'I don't really like it' and 'OH MY GOD, that is SOOOOO cheesy!!'