My MOH backed out....

Thank you so much ladies. Brought a tear to my eye.

The last few months, she has been really weird. Shes the type to have a boyfriend and not hang out w/you, until they break up, then shes all over you.

We've been friends for over 5 years, and I've been right there when shes needed me. ALWAYS.
About 3 weeks ago, she IM's me n tells me i Havent been IMing her much and she got mad bc i didnt go w/her to meet this guy from my space and his friend (a double date). So we had a little tiff, then we made up. She met another guy and was all happy again, until Sat nite, she IMs me n tells me she doesnt understand me, how I'm always busy, etc.
She doesnt get that i cant IM her all day and talk to her from work. She made me so upset.

So today I try to clear the air and talk to her and this is what she says to me:

well. it's been on my mind like a while. and i feel really bad and everything, but i was thinking you should pick someone else as your maid of honor. i mean, i was flattered that you asked me; but wouldn't you rather have someone you're close with? and not to mention with me looking for a job + an apartment. i'm not exactly in a good position financially, either.


You know waht, I'm glad I don't have to deal w/that negativity in my life. But it DOES upset me.

you'll pick someone that will be honored to stand up for u

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Posted by ChristineAE

That's just terrible and extremely rude.

You asked her b/c you wanted her to be a part of your special day without any limitations and b/c you feel close to her.

Want me to kick her arse for ya???

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Yes please!

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Posted by foofy

I can't believe she couldn't call you. That's the least she could have done. Don't worry about it, I'm sure someone else will be honor to be your MOH.

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Thats what I think so too.
Atleast a phone call.

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Posted by foofy

I can't believe she couldn't call you. That's the least she could have done. Don't worry about it, I'm sure someone else will be honor to be your MOH.

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I agree that is just RUDE. You deserve better for your wedding

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Posted by Shorty McBride

that is BULL$HIT!

She woudldn't even get in INVITE from me after that.

I'm so sorry!

eta: I'll do it, too!
You can have 47 LIW MOHs.

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Oh, shes not getting an invite. HA.

the way she did it was plain WRONG. You know what? Better that this happen now rather than one MONTH before the wedding. Ask someone who is a TRUE friend, this girl obviously isn't. Sorry this happened, but maybe it's for the better

that is so wrong. i am so sorry u are going through this...I am sure you will have someone who will be honored to stand by you on your special day!!!!

on a side note, i went to a wedding last year with a 'man of honor' the brides brother, it was actually very nice.

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Posted by Goldi1021

I think I would be more upset at her method of informing you than the fact that she actually can't do it.

If she doesn't have the money then she doesn't have it. But she should at least have given you the option to offer any financial assistance she may have needed.

At the same time, women need to realize that being in a bridal party is a position of honor as well as expense. The women in my bridal party (with the exception of my teen-aged nieces) are all women in their 30s, homeowners and financially independent. For some of the younger brides, your bridal attendants may not be as well established and therefore may not have the money to fulfill this obligation.

I am willing to bet she accepted because she was truly honored and caught in a moment - but then realized she was not able to do it. We have all done and responded to things on impulse - I know I have.

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You are absolutey right, Leslie. The way she did it was innapropriate. Honestly, I know she can get the money if she wants to. I konw its a big expense-even tho I have never been in a bridal party-i know it is. But I know she told me that bc of stupid petty reasons.

I'm glad she told me now though.

That's horrible. She should have called you and talked it out with you. I'm sure you'll find someone to replace her that you can depend on.

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Posted by gNi1125

That's horrible. She should have called you and talked it out with you. I'm sure you'll find someone to replace her that you can depend on.

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I think I'm going to make one of my bms my moh...

I feel for you- I lost a BM over email

after I had been calling and calling

it was ok to drop out- but not in an email

It bothers me the way she did it as opposed to what she did. She obviously didn't feel the same way about your friendship than you did. Maybe this happened for a reason and it's better off this way. Good luck, I'm sure you'll find someone who will be honored to be a part of your special day!!!

oh sweetie. that is just awful. what a B I TCH! shorty is right- not even an invite. I am sorry someone would do that to you.

To do something like that in an IM is just plain wrong. In this world of email, text messaging and IM's some people just don't understand the rules of decency anymore.
She is obvously not worthy of being your MOH. Take this as a lesson learned on who your friends are and choose someone who will take this honor and be there for you.

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

To do something like that in an IM is just plain wrong. In this world of email, text messaging and IM's some people just don't understand the rules of decency anymore.
She is obvously not worthy of being your MOH. Take this as a lesson learned on who your friends are and choose someone who will take this honor and be there for you.

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Well said Lauren, thank you..
You are correct tho..she thinks she can IM/email/txt msg anything...

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Posted by JessicaM.

oh sweetie. that is just awful. what a B I TCH! shorty is right- not even an invite. I am sorry someone would do that to you.

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thank u jess.
no invite for her azz

Well i hate to say it... but she's not much a friend at all! And she also needs to grow up!

That is so wrong on so many levels. I'm sorry!