I'm still struggling with something and I need someone to help me put it in perspective. I try think it's ok for guys and girls to be friends even if they become friends after you're engaged. I just can't figure out why it bothers me that they are friends. I would really appreciate if someone could share their situation with me about this....but please don't share your situation if you don't believe that males and females should be friends. I need help dealing with it but I don't need to make myself more upset. TIA!!!!
edited to clarify the original post because I don't want to make it sound like I don't want everyone's opinions
qdavis
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: Guy/girl friend issue
Posted by ssdbk
DH and I both have lots of friends of both sexes. But since I have been with him the only new guy friends I have made have either been his friends or my work friends. We totally trust each other and we have no ill feelings about other friends. But I have learned from past relationships that if you have a weird feeling about something, there's probably a real issue!! Sad but true!
So ssdbk, how did you deal with the situation?
BriansGirl
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Member since
Re: NWR: Guy/girl friend issue
My FH and I are very open and trusting in our relationship...I have quite a few male friends (some of them are even ex-boyfriends), he has female friends, we both have mutual male and female friends, single and couples. One of my very best and oldest friends is a guy I have known since I was 14. Neither one of us has any problems with any of our male/female friendships. That being said...
Since we both have many mixed sex friendships, we get to see both sides of many of these kinds of situations. Although this girl may not seem to have the intention of undermining your relationship, you have to ask yourself why, when she found out your FH was engaged, would she have even brought up the fact that she had feelings for him in the first place? As soon as she found out he was taken that should have nixed any thoughts she may have been having, and in order to not make things awkward she never should have mentioned how she felt. The fact that she did tell him shows that she wanted to see what his reaction would be, and that in itself shows that her intentions may not be completely innocent.
This is just an opinion, but I showed this to my FH and he agrees, just so you have a different male point of view. Hope things work out ok for you.
EJSD2006
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: Guy/girl friend issue
FH has no female friends but I have ALOT of male friends that are coming to our wedding. I work with all men and at first he didn't like it. But FH is secure in who he is and realizes that i come back to him every night and my heart is only his. I don't flirt with them because I know I wouldn't like it if it were done to me.
I know it's easier said than done, but don't let it bother you. as long as he comes home to you every night and gives you the hugs, and kisses, and, oh yeah, the rest of his life then I would lift my head up and say 'that's my man! and he loves ME!'
qdavis
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: Guy/girl friend issue
Posted by alnem
FH has no female friends but I have ALOT of male friends that are coming to our wedding. I work with all men and at first he didn't like it. But FH is secure in who he is and realizes that i come back to him every night and my heart is only his. I don't flirt with them because I know I wouldn't like it if it were done to me.
I know it's easier said than done, but don't let it bother you. as long as he comes home to you every night and gives you the hugs, and kisses, and, oh yeah, the rest of his life then I would lift my head up and say 'that's my man! and he loves ME!'
