Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

To save us money right now... we can get BM gifts from there using the card. I know someone got the Lenox Jewelry Box. Now they also have from the Wedding Promises collection a 2 piece jewelry set. A silverplated heart ring holder, and a little silverplated heart jewelry trinket type box. They're both the same price. Has anyone seen them both in person, or which one do you think would be better? Thanks!

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

I just got the jewlery box and ring holder as an engagement gift and it's REALLY nice!!! I would def go for it!

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

Personally, I wouldn't like either of those.

Maybe you can use the card to pick out an individual gift for each BMs thats personal to each one - it might be more meaningful that way.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

i GOT MY GIRLS THE lENOX wEDDING pROMISES JEWELRY BOXES - THEN i WILL GET EACH something a little more personal

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

I think a trip to Macys is in order, they usually have sales on their sterling jewelry & I think the lenox boxes are a nice idea, but picking something different for each makes it special I think. I ordered everything from Tiffany & Co and picked things that I thought each person would choose for themselves. You can probably find nice items for your guys @ Macys too. Good luck.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

I'm having too hard of a time picking out something personable. My FI have been living out of state for over 3 years, so we don't exactly know what their tastes are, you know? We've known them a really long time, but 3 years with only seeing them maybe 2 times a year makes it really hard to pick something out. I don't want to ask them either.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

You can also get them a nice photo frame (silver), pretty silver earrings (different ones) or a nice braclet. I like the idea of giving non-jewerly gifts the best unless you can get something super nice such as Tiffanys.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

Melissa,

Not to be rude to you or the other brides but go with what you can afford and feel comfortable spending. I know money is tight at the moment and the last thing you need is to worry about is more debt. The gift should be from the heart, not the wallet.. Just my opinion

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

I agree Michelle. These gifts are more about saying thank you to special friends and family than about impressing someone.

Melissa, if I were in a bridal party where the couple was struggling financially, I would be more touched to receive a heartfelt thank you letter that explained the couple's circumstances, than a token gift. Follow your heart and do what is right FOR YOU.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

I totally agree with Michelle and JennRenee. Don't over-extend yourself just to buy something for the sake of buying it. Since you picked them to be your BMs, they are close to you, then they would totally understand your financial situation and appreciate the fact that they were asked to be in your wedding and any gift you give them!!!

As for the Lenox jewelry box, I received the crystal one from MOH for being her MOH and the jewelry to wear w/the dress. It's a beautiful keepsake piece and I keep it on the vanity on my dresser!

Good luck and stop worrying.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

Don't mean to be rude but I don't think a thank you card alone is an appropriate gift after your bridesmaids have spent several thousands of dollars on travel, dress, showers, gifts, etc... Not to mention their time and energy.

How would you feel if everyone at your wedding just gave a nice card and no gift? You would be justifiyably shocked and you haven't spent thousands on each guest.

We can all apprecaite a budget bind - but if a bride can afford the big party, dress, hairdressers, rings, favors, flowers - she should be able to budget a little something for a thoughtful and useful gift. (not directed at the original poster as Im sure you will do this - just a general rule)

Of course, that doesn't mean you should go into debt for a gift nor does that mean spend extravagently on some useless item the BMs dont want. But if you're going to cut back in some areas - this should not be on of them in my opinion.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

I agree that gifts can be meaningful without being extravagantly expensive. IMO - a card alone might not be sufficent to the occassion, but if these BMs are really your friends - they certainly wouldn't want you to break the bank either.

How about a picture frame (that fits into your price range --> wood/plastic vs. sterling silver/crystal) that contains an old picture of you and the BM together, plus a card that tells the BM how important they are to you and how much you appreciate them, should be plenty.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

Well, I totally disagree with you and I think your comment was rude. I have been in 8 other bridal parties (not including my own) and I NEVER accepted with the knowledge that 'since I'm shelling out all this money (and it's never been in the thousands -- hundreds, yes, but not thousands) to be in your wedding, then you should be giving me some ritzy gift as a thank you.' If that's how you feel, then you shouldn't accept in the first place. It's not about the MONEY or the GIFT, it's about the DAY and the PERSON -- being there to share in your friend's happiness on the best day of her life and knowing that she wanted you to be there with her. And on another note, I didn't ask all the brides whose weddings I was in to be my BMs, so using your theory, then I should've expected them to reciprocate by giving me a bigger envelope?

Yes, we've all paid thousands of dollars to have the wedding of our dreams, but I've said this before and I'm going to say it again -- everyone doesn't have the same budget -- and just because one can afford it, doesn't make her wedding any better then the one who can't. Melissa has been planning from out of town and has had to change her site because of money issues and has probably cut back in many areas. She shouldn't have to go into more debt to give her BMs some expensive gift.
And if her BMs are real friends, then they would totally appreciate anything she gives them!!! It's the thought, not the price. It's supposed to be from the heart, not the wallet.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

As I said in my post above - I was not directing my comment specifically at Melissa. I have no idea what her budget is NOR did I suggest getting her bridesmaids ritzy gifts. What I did suggest (to all brides in general) is to give their BMs a thoughtful gift!!

I see many brides on this board give their bridesmaids USELESS crap (expensive or otherwise) because it is too much trouble for them to put some thought and effort into something appropriate.

It is not about the money alone but the time invested in being a BMs - not only do you have to work to get the $$ to be in the party but you also have to spend many hours helping plan the wedding, shower, parties, etc.

Just because your BMs are your friends - doesn't mean you have a right to disregard the contribution they have made to your wedding. The cost of the gift is irrelevant - I'd rather have a homemade pillow (costs practically nothing but takes time) than some cookie cutter 'bridesmaids' engraved silver platter.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

Stefanie's point is NOT to be rude to anyone, as noted when she said this is not intended to the orginal poster. She is just saying that BMs should be given a nice gift as a thankyou. No one is saying not to get the jewerly box or to get the jewerly box. I think it should be something that the BMs will like, not just purchased because it is on sale. I know some of my friends would rather a photo frame, then a jewerly box so it would not be a nice thankyou if I got the jewerly box for them.
And it can costs thousands to be in a wedding party, if you have to throw the shower. Some BMs are not asked to contribute financially to the shower, others have to do it without financial help from the bride's family.
I am not a fan of matching jewerly as a BM gift, unless it is a nice piece of jewerly that can be worn AFTER the wedding is over. If it is something that cannot be worn again, to me it is just part of the outfit and will be stuffed into a draw. Believe me I know girls who have tons of little boxes of cheap jewerly that is a 'color' to match a BM gown that will never be worn again.
I think a card is a nice thing to give, along with a nice gift. The cost of the gift is the major issue, it is the thought behind the gift. And many brides can find the money for our diamond wedding bands, but have nothing for their BMs. That I think is unfair. (Again this is not directed to Melissa in anyway) She is trying to do right by her BMs. Going into debt is not what ANYONE is saying.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

Melissa-
What about things like movie tickets, blockbuster gift cards, or maybe even a bunch of Macy's gift certificates (especially if you get the discount with the card!)? This way-things like movie tickets are always appreciated and great for people to unwind after all the stress of planning, participating is done or let them all pick out something? You could always put gift certificates in fun places like silk jewlery holders. I saw a bunch of them on sale for $4.00 each at Bath and Bodyworks!
Just a few suggestions!

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

However, you know all these things, time, $$, etc when you agree to be in a bridal party. You agree to be in in because of your friendship with the person not because of the token of appreciation you will receive for being part of the day.

IMO Melissa should do what she feels comfortable with, no matter what it is

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

I thought I should clarify my previous post rather than leave it open to interpretation. Melissa has posted a request for our opinions & advice, I did not mean to put her down or offend her(or anyone else)in any way. I'm not sure if some of the responses that followed mine were targeted at me-but I did not suggest that she shop where I shop or expect her to do what I do. We all have our own ideas about what's right & wrong and in my opinion the gifts for the bridal party should be a big priority! Not based on expense, but instead on thought!
She suggested Macy's & I suggested silver jewelry from there-she knows her friends & it's her decision. I'm sure her bridal party is aware of her situation & is thrilled to be a part of her wedding, IMO it should be a gift from the heart. Thanks for reading.

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

I stand by my original post. If everyone who came to my wedding (well over 200 guests who I paid well over $100 per person for) gave us nothing but a card with a nice note in it, I wouldn't have felt the tiniest bit angry, upset, or slighted, because they were there to share in our happiness. Your wedding is about your marriage. Period. Nothing more. Everything else is a bonus.

In my opinion, it is the height of rudeness to tell someone their gift is inadequate, or imply that what they are giving or have given is 'crap'. It is a far more graceful person who accepts what they are given, and does so with the meaning of the gift in mind, rather than it's value, beauty or usefullness (which is really in the eye of the beholder).

Flame away...

Re: Ok... My mom has a Macys card...

This is getting off topic.At this point this thread is NO longer about what Melissa asked us. Now it is a tit-for-tat among brides about what we think is a fair gift or unfair gift to a BMs. Not really fair to Melissa to do this.

Melissa- get her girls a gift that you can afford that you think they will like. If something looks expensive but is on sale that doesn't mean it is the best gift for your girls. Keep in mind their personalities and tastes. The gifts do not have to be the exact same either.

And JennRenee- I will not flame you. You have helped me in the past on many issues and I appeciate that a lot. I think everyone WANTS to feel that no matter what you just want your family and friends with you on your special day. But a wedding is not just about a marriage. If that was the case we would all go to town hall for $30 and get married, maybe holding some flowers from a local florist. I do find it hard to believe that if your Aunt gave you just a card without anything inside you would not even blink an eye. I mean, let's be honest. We are not hosting fund raiser but still it would hurt your feelings that she gave you zero! A wedding is about hosting an affair that celebrates the couple, and for many people, it is about trying to keep up or impress friends/family/parent's co-workers etc...Is that right? No, but it is reality.