OMG - Shoot me now.

The WHOLE reason I'm going NUTS wording my reception card 'Adult Reception Only' and making my RSVP card say ___ of ___ will be attending, etc. is so that there will not be any kids at my wedding (except my ring bearer, who is my Godson, and Jr. Groomsman, my FH's nephew, who will both probably leave half way through the reception). My FH's OTHER two nephew's (the Jr. Groomsman's BROTHERS) aren't even coming to the wedding because there are no kids.

Well - some background - we didn't talk to my aunt and her whole family for SIX years after my brother's wedding because he didn't have kids at his wedding, and they took exception to that, so they alienated themselves from the entire family. Just recently, we made up with them and invited them to my bridal shower, and they came with the girls, which was fine because it was a shower. Great.

I really thought I was on the same page with my parents on this. JUST NOW my parents tell me that we're inviting just THEIR kids (my SECOND COUSINS) to save aggravation!!! NO! I do NOT want kids at my wedding! My parents say that since they're paying for the wedding, they are allowing it. This is the first time they've pulled that card on me, and I don't like it! How can I invite just those THREE kids, and not my own FH's nephews (granted - his family's not paying for anything, but still...) or my FH's second cousins!?!?! OMG! I'm gonna throw up. My dad's yelling at me telling me we're inviting me and my mom just hung up on me. And my FH isn't talking to me because he wants a F#$^@ING dog.

What a way to start your day!!! I'm so sorry!!

ouch!

i'm sorry to hear that this has taken on a life of its own

ok. now let's move on. take it one SECOND at a time. take a deep breath.

remember, at the end of all of this, you are marrying the man of your dreams. the man who held you and comforted you when you had the accident. ** i just read that thread last night and i can't forget your avatar **

keep that in your heart. remember, this is a PARTY, one day... that's it. you want a MARRIAGE, A LIFETIME WITH THIS MAN.

now that i've been philosophical quietly, calmly talk to your mom. also, listen to your mom about how she feels and why. maybe together you can come to a compromise.

the best of luck to you

'Has anyone ever said to you: Looks like somebody's having a case of the Mondays?'

'Nah, I think I'd get my a$$ed kicked saying something like that'

-Office Space, priceless!!!

I'm SO SORRY this is happening to you!!

First of all, explain to your parents that REGARDLESS of if they are paying or not-- you cannot invite SOME kids and then not ALL kids. Also, they cannot give you money saying that it is FOR you and they want to do it for you but as long as you do what they say-- things like that should never come with conditions. And at this point, to invite them along-- when you are so close to your wedding is ridiculous. These people (that your parents are having problems with) need to respect you and your FH's wishes!!! This is your wedding day!!! I can't believe people are this out of control!! WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL?! It is one night-- can't you just go along with what someone else wants for a few hours?!!

And your FH wants a dog?! LOL!! Oh boy-- the best thing to do (and I hate to say this) is to lie LOL I'm such a bad influence!!! Just lie and say that you WOULD really like to get a dog and AS SOON as the wedding is over--you would be happy to start and look into it with him but it's too hard before the wedding with everything going on and then you'll be on your HM-- where will it stay? etc. So just tell him originally you didn't want it b/c of the wedding and all that is going on right now but after-- you'll definitely look into it and then he'll either forget about it (b/c the holidays will be right after your wedding and there is your second excuse-- don't have enough money for a dog b/c of the holidays LOL) and if you just YES him to death and put him off then you'll be good to go-- at least for a little while!! I'm so bad LOL

Wow- Sarah, I am so sorry, but the family's past history is not worth future problems with your FH and his side of the family. It's all or none I believe, someone here is going to be insulted.

If you allow this to pass because they are paying for the wedding then you will have to invite all children. And if your parents refuse to pay for all then maybe you and FH could pay for his side's kids. Kids at a wedding is not the WORST thing in the world but I understand. At first I was not having any children (there aren't many anyway) but then my FSIL said the kids asked if they were going to come and expressed how badly they wanted to and my FSIL said 'I want to have them there at least part of the night' so we said thats fine. She even offered to pay for them. Kids can be alot of fun at weddings anyway, and then you should tell yourparents they need to hire a babysitter at the wedding who brings activities and stuff to keep an eye on them and to keep the kids entertained. The other option is to fight with people. What a sh***y situation.

I'm just ticked because I DO NOT WANT KIDS AT MY WEDDING. That should be the end of it. My parents don't see it that way. My dad thinks I should save my mom some heartache and just let my cousins come so that we don't have a repeat of what happened with my brother. NO!! The Crescent Beach Club is NO PLACE FOR CHILDREN!!! As it is, the two boys in my bridal party are going home early!

I don't even understand the option of letting them come to the church. I don't want any 'antsy' noises during my beautiful ceremony.

This is just throwing a wrench in everything.

The problem is that when I was younger, I went to THEIR weddings (when I was 6 or 8 years old or whatever). So does that mean I have to let THEIR kids come to mine?!?!?! I feel mean, but what do I do?!?!!??!

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Posted by sarahradio5

I'm just ticked because I DO NOT WANT KIDS AT MY WEDDING. That should be the end of it. My parents don't see it that way. My dad thinks I should save my mom some heartache and just let my cousins come so that we don't have a repeat of what happened with my brother. NO!! The Crescent Beach Club is NO PLACE FOR CHILDREN!!! As it is, the two boys in my bridal party are going home early!

I don't even understand the option of letting them come to the church. I don't want any 'antsy' noises during my beautiful ceremony.

This is just throwing a wrench in everything.

The problem is that when I was younger, I went to THEIR weddings (when I was 6 or 8 years old or whatever). So does that mean I have to let THEIR kids come to mine?!?!?! I feel mean, but what do I do?!?!!??!

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Honestly, you won't notice them and it's not worth the fight[ing]. If you were paying for the wedding, I'd be the first to say put your foot down, but your parents are doing you a great favor by paying for it all. If they want to pay for kids, let them. There were lots of kids at our wedding...and they were self-contained and often being little angels. They ran across the dance floor a few times...to come give me hugs! Many people [except for OOTs] won't bring their kids to an evening wedding usually...but this isn't worth the pain you'll put everyone through. And yes, since you attended their weddings at 6-8, they likely won't see your reasoning for disapproval of their kids attending as they were thrilled to have you there as a child.

And, if you don't invite kids, you WILL hurt some people as you've stated hurt feelings have surfaced already from this 'ruling' in the past with your family. Those people will likely not attend, be upset and not send a gift and of course, create more drama for your family than is necessary at all.

As for the dog, no advice. Likely the 2 of you need to sit down and discuss this one...why he wants one, what breed/size, where his things will be, who's responsible for walking Fido at midnight in January when it's 12° outside and why you don't want one and see what kind of compromise or decision you can come to.

You'll never get anywhere if all you do is stomp your foot down and pout. You have to openly and calmly get your view across and listen to the other side of things and work together to see where the middle ground is.

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Posted by LBride

got any vodka or tequilla in your ofiice??

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Go for the tequilla and add a little margarita mix!!!!!

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006

Take a deep breath. Talk to your parents and explain to them if you have to have your cousins then you feel FH should have the kids from his side invited as well, its only fair.

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I agree. If you just invite those kids to 'keep the peace' it might upset the other people who's kids weren't invited.

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Posted by CLMon7906

Honestly, you won't notice them and it's not worth the fight[ing]. If you were paying for the wedding, I'd be the first to say put your foot down, but your parents are doing you a great favor by paying for it all. If they want to pay for kids, let them. There were lots of kids at our wedding...and they were self-contained and often being little angels. They ran across the dance floor a few times...to come give me hugs! Many people [except for OOTs] won't bring their kids to an evening wedding usually...but this isn't worth the pain you'll put everyone through. And yes, since you attended their weddings at 6-8, they likely won't see your reasoning for disapproval of their kids attending as they were thrilled to have you there as a child.

And, if you don't invite kids, you WILL hurt some people as you've stated hurt feelings have surfaced already from this 'ruling' in the past with your family. Those people will likely not attend, be upset and not send a gift and of course, create more drama for your family than is necessary at all.

As for the dog, no advice. Likely the 2 of you need to sit down and discuss this one...why he wants one, what breed/size, where his things will be, who's responsible for walking Fido at midnight in January when it's 12° outside and why you don't want one and see what kind of compromise or decision you can come to.

You'll never get anywhere if all you do is stomp your foot down and pout. You have to openly and calmly get your view across and listen to the other side of things and work together to see where the middle ground is.

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First of all, I am NOT stomping and pouting. I really don't appreciate that at ALL. I'm talking reasonably and stating my case, as I always do. On BOTH issues. Where do you get that I 'stomp' my 'foot down and pout'??? I really take exception to that!

Another thing is, you can do what you want at your wedding. I will do what I want at mine. From day ONE, it has been NO kids. The Crescent Beach Club is as classy as it gets. I envision my wedding as ALL class. No kids running around. Adults only. We were all on the same page about that, up until this morning. My parents are throwing this wrench into it all now to avoid conflict with my aunt, who is as stubborn as they come. You don't know her. Not talking to the ENTIRE FAMILY (not just us... I'm talking my MOM's 7 other siblings, too) because my BROTHER didn't have ANY kids at the wedding is just unreasonable. I will not give into that! Why would I give in to what my vision of my wedding is for an unreasonable person? I want my older cousins there, but not the younger kids. Not a place for them...

I just offered to my mom that they can come to the cocktail hour, and she's still not happy with that. I don't know what else to do. No kids at my wedding. And to bring this up NOW when I want to have my inserts printed is just wrong because now everything is being held up.

I am SO sorry!!!!!

Thats stinks...I think I might have that issue soon too! NO KIDS means no kids, and its aggravating when no one gets that. I completely agree with you, in one sense I see where she is coming from as far as not saving herself from the aggravation-but it should be something that you want. Ive been to plenty of weddings where the kids were angels and plenty where they were not...in the end its up to you-if you are willing to take the heat tell your mom to tell her it is your fault and you dont want ANY kids there, this way it takes the heat off her...maybe that will help

i hope it gets better and you are able to figure something out!

Sarah - you are in a fix. Your parents are paying for the wedding and they are going to allow the cousins. That seems pretty much set and done. You have told them how you feel and they have decided to disregard those feelings.

The best you can do at this juncture is to make it abundantly clear to them that you do NOT agree with this decision and that they are upsetting your vision of the wedding. Maybe they will come around and understand that this is your day and is about your wants and desires. Based on the story so far... I doubt it. But you can make them aware of the fact that if your cousins wind up coming you will expect that their parents keep them on a tight leash.

Having said that.. your wedding will be beautiful. Don't let this hiccup ruin that for you. You have the right to be upset and you have the right to feel angry - but just don't let it mess with the wonderful day you will have!

Sweetie, save yourself the heartache and do not worry about it. I wasn't supposed to have any children at my wedding, except for my 12-year old first cousin and low and behold, one couple shows up with their newborn baby, and another person brings her 13-year old daughter as a guest. Is that normal? No, but I honestly didn't think about it twice during my wedding. I saw both kids (ahem infant), once and that was it. It was like they weren't even there. Please don't worry about it. Just seat them by the band