Re: Question about Having Children?

At 25 I didn't want to think of kids...I wanted to travel and spend money and have fun being married to my DH.

3 years later...it's time for me
I will miss my free time~going to the beach with my girlfriends~taking off whenever I want, going on vacations, etc...

BUT...I will not give up getting my hair done every three months for 100 or so.

Re: Question about Having Children?

My son Connor James was born when I was 23. He lives with his mom, she is clearly influencing him when it comes to me, and I don't see him much. I am missing him grow up. It hurts me inside. I respect everybody who doesn't want children or not ready for children. I just see what I going through, and I can't wait to have children with Bri.

Re: Question about Having Children?

Well, I can't do much about it, because this baby's coming whether I like it or not !

Seriously though, DH and I are scared. We're both really young and we're not going to have much time to be a 'married couple' before the baby is born, but we couldn't be happier about this. I think no matter how old you are or how financially stable you are, there's always going to be something to worry about, which is why I'm not as scared as I thought I'd be.

Re: Question about Having Children?

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Posted by OSCARtheGROOM

My son Connor James was born when I was 23. He lives with his mom, she is clearly influencing him when it comes to me, and I don't see him much. I am missing him grow up. It hurts me inside. I respect everybody who doesn't want children or not ready for children. I just see what I going through, and I can't wait to have children with Bri.

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That is so sweet and so sad! I'm sorry! I hope when he gets older he will be able to make his own choices and spend more time with you!

I am 28, and am afraid I'm getting too old to ever have kids... (we're not getting married... the wedding has been postponed indefinitely while he 'figures things out' and I'm getting nervous that if I wait for him, it will be too late.

It's such a hard thing to know if it's the right decision.... my brother just had a baby last year and she was unplanned... he was not even in a long term relationship (they only knew each other 3 months and it is a very volatile relationship) and he is SO in love with his daughter, he is so happy that she was born.

Some people never want kids. One of the happiest, most content people I know is in his 40s, married, and neither of them wants kids--they have loads of money, travel a lot, he buys her diamonds up the wazoo, and they are loving life.

It's ok to NOT want kids. Some people do. Some don't. Unfortunately society seems to think that everyone should want kids... when it just isn't the case, and it's totally normal not to want them

Wow that was long.

Re: Question about Having Children?

Like Butterflybride -- I don't have a choice anymore -- this baby is coming whether we are ready or not!

And we definitely weren't ready for when I got pregnant. Being that I got pg on the HM and we were planning to wait at least 2 - 3 yrs... well, it was a shock to say the least. Not only that, NOT having children at all was not completely off the table for us either. When we got married, we agreed that we were both unsure and that we would 'see how it goes'.

DH is 31 and I wanted to wait until I was at least 29. I figured by then the *desire* to have children would kick in. I've never been one of those people that drools over babies. On the contrary, I've feared them immensely. I fear the irreversible change they mean in your life, the unending sacrifices, and I fear that I won't be a good parent.

SO... getting pregnant on the HONEYMOON... well my biggest fear was (and, quite frankly, still is) the strain that having a child so soon, both unready, would put on our young marriage.

So as you can imagine, those first few days after I found out I was pg were pretty rough. But, here I am almost 5 months pregnant and yep, I'm still scared. But you know what? I really believe that I would have been just as scared 3 years from now. I think in a way this decision was made 'for us'. Maybe because we were unsure about having kids at all, I dunno, but we have faith that everything will work out somehow!

Re: Question about Having Children?

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Posted by Danielle

Some people never want kids. One of the happiest, most content people I know is in his 40s, married, and neither of them wants kids--they have loads of money, travel a lot, he buys her diamonds up the wazoo, and they are loving life.

It's ok to NOT want kids. Some people do. Some don't. Unfortunately society seems to think that everyone should want kids... when it just isn't the case, and it's totally normal not to want them

Wow that was long.

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Good luck with the situation with your guy. I hope you end up happy in the long run. I think you have plenty of time to have kids, if you choose to have them.

I have a co-worker who's in her early 50s and married, and she and her husband seem to have it really good- they travel and spend a lot of time in the city at restaurants, plays, etc. That was one thing that made me begin to question myself. I think, too, since my mother had so much trouble trying to have kids it makes me worry. So I do want to have them but I think I am also not getting too invested in the idea, just in case.