Response frustration...

Just an update on how our responses are coming in .. and I have to say, they`re just not anymore. With just a little more than a week to go for the deadline, we`re still missing a little more than 40 responses! We have 67 in .. 49 yes, and 18 no. That`s a count by response card, meaning each couple, family or single that we`re waiting on a response card from .. it`s not a per person count. So having 40 cards still out there could provide a huge swing in our count. And it`s a lot to have to track down for an answer.

Response frustration...

I think for some reason, many people wait until the very last minute to send them in. I have no idea why - either you can or cannot go! Even for our engagement party, my Mom got a lot of calls a few days after the deadline. Hopefully, you`ll hear from the remaining people this week.

Response frustration...

We had the same problem, a lot of people waited till the last minute, and about 7-10 people didnt respond, so we called and of course they are NOT coming. But not responding does not mean NO. We dont know this. I think this is so rude, and we should NOT have to call them to see if they are coming. Lots of Luck Kel!!!

Response frustration...

I know what you''re going through. Our deadline was Friday and we still have about 30 delinquents! Of the people we called over the weekend, they each said 'but you know we''re coming!'. Um - no we didn''t. How hard is it to not be rude??? Good luck & hopefully they''ll get back to you soon.

Oh boy do I know what you mean!!!!

I spent my whole day today fuming about the non-responses. We originally wanted to have a relatively small wedding 25-30 people. But as people found out that we were getting married all we heard was,'Please don't forget to invite us!!'. So thinking that we didn't want to leave people out who really wanted to be there to share our day, we decided to go for at least 75. We invited 95 people and out of those less than half have responded. Our cutoff date is this Thursday and we need at least 24 more people just to make our minimum. I haven't even heard from my own brother. Adding to my deep frustration is that today a friend that I have known for about 10 years emailed me that she couldn't come because she was having major problems. Huh? Email? She lives about 10 miles away, knows my phone number, has a response card and she emails me? With what I consider to be a really lame excuse. She was one of those oh please invite me people. Then I find out that our best man's wife isn't coming because she doesn't know anybody. We are not having a head table and had planned to put both the best man and his wife with friends of his since high school. I can only hope that a lot of folks are last minuters, but at this rate with 6 weeks to go, a lot of the joy is going out of this whole wedding thing!!!! Thanks as always for letting me vent!!!

Response frustration...

We still have about 50 response cards to get back and our RSVP date is this Wednesday. We will start calling people the end of this week.

Response frustration...

I can't believe how people just don't respond thinking 'WE KNOW' they are coming or whatever. I'm having this problem with an ex-step-mother of my FI (don't ask -- it's a fiasco), she keeps saying, you know I am coming. Well then take the two seconds it takes to put the stupid card in the mailbox. It's even got a stamp -- I mean what else do these people want from us! My mom is not marking anyone down until she gets their response card :-) There might be some surprised people at the wedding when they show up and there's no chair for them at the table :-) hee, heee.

Response frustration...

Okay, I'm 'shrinking with shame' right now. I have always been one of those last minute people! But with the last couple of parties/weddings I've been invited to, I've tried to be extremely prompt with my responses (now that I'm a bride-to-be)...I'm a firm believer that what goes around comes around, and I don't want to get mine! :( Bad Marnles, Bad!!! Good luck!!!!!!

Response frustration...

We had some difficulties with responses, too. Some of the things that happened to us: 1. A family of six cancelled four days before the wedding. I found out when I got home from work about an hour before I had to be at the Westbury Manor to deliver favors, etc. and the final paperwork including the seating charts. My now husband, then fiance was packing the car with all of our boxes and bags while I was changing the seating charts and uttering profanities under my breath. 2. A family of 3 and one of my bridesmaid''s boyfriend''s actually did not show up. And this is my favorite: 3. We got a response back THE DAY AFTER THE WEDDING. It was a no, and naturally, they didn''t come. I guess my point is twofold (and I''ll start with the bad news)-expect the unexpected until about halfway through the cocktail hour, which is about the time that anyone who is going to come will show up. For many people, weddings are the most formal events they will ever go to, and apparently they don''t go to them often enough to get the whole idea of how important it is that they respond to the host in a timely manner, using the response card. It''s sad and frustrating, but true. Enlist the help of future mother in laws, future husbands, and the like so you don''t need to worry about calling people on his side who you wouldn''t know from a hole in the wall. The good news is that none of this will matter on your wedding day. It really won''t. This is the one advantage to the fact that these wedding halls want to be paid in full before they''ve done a darn thing for you. They''re paid, seating charts are set, there''s enough food for everyone, and if you don''t make your minimum they will throw in extras for you. It''s all done. You don''t (or shouldn''t) have to worry about any of it. You''re just there to celebrate, eat, dance, and greet the people who took the time to come to your wedding. You''ll all have terrific days, I''m sure, and you won''t miss the flaky people. Ok, I''ll stop babbling now. Don''t worry, it''ll all work out.

Response frustration...

It stinks, but some people are just not 'into' responding. We sent out invites to 150 people and only received about 42 by the response date. We're still getting some back, but the number is quite less than we expected. I've heard that lots of couples have to chase these folks down by phone, usually to find that the answer was 'no' anyway. How rude, huh? So not only did you waste a stamp on these people, you now wasted your time on a phone call.

Well said, Jenn P! : ) *NM*

Oh boy do I know what you mean!!!!

I hear you. We have about a third of the people we invited and less than half of what we expected. Thank GOD we chose a caterer who said a 50 minimum is okay. We expected 100!! It hurts me to think that so few people care enough to even respond. We had a lot of those 'invite me' people too, and those that sounded so excited to come who out of nowhere said no! They asked the date several times and told me they were marking their calendars and then quietly send a 'NO!' No reason, just 'no.' Good luck with your wedding. What's your date? Maybe you can invite some other brides from this site to make your quota. I'm sure they wouldn't mind not knowing anyone!

Happened to us too...

I noticed that anyone who made an off-hand comment several months in advance saying they didn't think they could make it took that to mean they'd already given their response as a NO and they never bothered to send in the cards.

It helps...

It does help to know that I am not the only one going through this. I am just so amazed at the amount of people who ignore a response card. I was hoping that today might bring a response or two, but nada. Oh well..as Jenn said, on the wedding day it really won't matter. We will be just as married at the end of the day and we will have a great time with those who are there. I have decided that I shall vent my frustration to the rest of the country. I am going to write a letter to Ann Landers on behalf of brides everywhere. I will let you know if it ever makes the paper!!!!

MikkiRed

Thanks for the thought. If it comes down to I may just invite some other brides!!! We are getting married Sept 23. I haven't asked my catering hall what happens if we don't meet the minimum. I know that other people here haven't and their caterer usually lets them add some things to make up for it. Who knows...maybe we will end up with lobster!!!

lack of responses,etc

Hi ladies- As a newlywed, I can MORE than sympathize w/ u regarding lack of responses. Dont be surprised if life long friends and close family reply with a simple 'no' and do not write a reason/call u/stop by to talk. And the ones you think will not come- will. That happened to me when more than 65 members of my family did not come. The west coast contingincy at least did send back their rsvps but no note. The East coast ones...some who were in the bridal party...I had to nail down in a phone call I made to them. In the end, we had just met many people - about 3-4 weeks prior to the wedding. We extended an invite to them and asked them to come to share our day. WE did not want any presents..just heir 'presence'.. and you know what, they came, they had a great time, they made me laugh, and we are now closer friends than before. All I want to add, is that when you do your 'final' head count...shave one or two heads off the count...since that morning, some do not show. If they DO show, then just have a signed ck ready to cover the tables..and give it to a TRUSTWORTHY member of the bridal party who will NOT forget it. Good luck!

I Have to say it but I Understand and have it worse

Well I think it's worse, that might be because it's happening to me but anyway here we go.. My RSVP date was Aug 2nd. I still have 14 people who haven't RSVP or spoken to. The number was at 30. And that is cards not people. My FMIL is telling me they said they will try and come it all depends on her divorce settlement. or they are away until the weekend before the wedding but said they would like to go. Oh and it gets better I asked her who her friend was bringing since she is getting a divorce. She said no one well she rsvp for 2. She plans on bringing her 17 yr old daughter so she is not alone. Now the 17 yr old daughter and my FSIL (18) don't get along to well. And she wasn't invited. Other people just haven't responded, we have tried to call them but no luck yet. Oh also now one of FMIL's friends might not be emotionally stable enough to come to the wedding apparently she didn't show at the shower because her ex husband picked up there daughter and he had a new car. So god knows what is going to happen the day of the wedding. This and the seating arrangements have been the most stressful of all the wedding planning. Only 18 days left.

I hope it all works out for you!!! *NM*

count them all out...

Sheesh! How RUDE Of them! Count them out, make your tables, and dont drive yourself nuts. The week before your beautiful day is a bit nerveracking, lots of running around dropping off/picking up items, cnfing w/ vendors, and some happy get togethers too. Drop them from the list, call them (or have the BM or MOM do this) to tell them that you are SORRY that they could not come to your day- but you are thinking of them and appreciate their well wishes.. (just my 2 cents- worked for me)

count them all out...I agree with Phyl

This way you dont have to worry about the 'maybe they can make it' group. Take control and make it clear that unfortunately you can not accomodate last minute guests. I am still missing about 12 responses myself. Most are our deliquent friends who cant find there way to the post office for some reason