Re: Serious situation - advice needed LONG

Everyone already gave such great advice, so I don't have anything to add. I just want to let you know that I'm so sorry you are dealing with this and you are in my thoughts

Re: Serious situation - advice needed LONG

Everyone has given great advie to you. But I think as Shamma, Michele and Shammee said...The wedding is one day a marriage is a lifetime. Please don't think it would be easier to get divorced than postpone the wedding. Tell your family the truth and I am sure they will support you and your decision to be with FI and help him. Please consider postponing the day. Whatever your decision is We are all here to support you....

Re: Serious situation - advice needed LONG

I have never been in your situation, but I am in love. If my dh was going through this I would need to stand by him. I am sure there may be a point where I would not be able to, but this is not it. Your commitment, even though only engaged at this point, is to love, honor, cherish and standby by one another through good and bad. If you only stay for the good what type of person are you? It is making it through the bad that gives you the strength to battle everyday situations. Such a battle should make your relationship stronger. I do not condone this behavior, but I would need to be there for him. My thoughts are with you and him and if you need to talk or for support just fm.

love mish

Re: Serious situation - advice needed LONG

Re: Serious situation - advice needed LONG

I am so sorry to hear you going through this. I can only wish you good luck. I was married before, and my ex was an alcoholic (no drugs, and there is a difference). I really tried for six and a half years, but I finally couldn't take it any more and left. He still has problems, we have mutual friends, and I feel bad for him. He never hit his rockbottom though and never thought that he had any addictions. His parents always gave him money and bailed him out of his problems, still do, so I am not sure what will ever happen to him.
In your case, though, at least your FI knows he has a problem. He fell off track, but hopefully he will get back on once he comes to his senses. 90% of their battle is realizing they have an addiction, so I wish you lots of luck and Strength. Mostly strength. Keep the faith, I really wish you luck, I know it is hard.

Re: Serious situation - advice needed LONG-UPDATE

Thanks you sooooooooooo much

Mishandgerard you described how I feel

He started calling me at 3 am repeatedly. I unplugged my phone and switched the cell to vibrate. His sister told me he called her also, he needed gas $. She told him neither she or I would give it to him and to figure out. He showed up at home around 5am. I have basically been giving him the cold shoulder. He asked me if we were going to talk and I said of course, but now is not the time or place. I will keep you posted, but for right now I am so happy he is home safe.

Re: Serious situation - advice needed LONG-UPDATE

dont really know what to say but more hugs to you
I hope there is a counselor or pastor or rabbi or someone you can speak to about all this

Re: Serious situation - advice needed LONG-UPDATE

I've never been in that sort of situation, but just wanted to give you some hugs

Re: Serious situation - advice needed LONG-UPDATE

Anon.
I'm glad he's safe. Please, please, do what's best for YOU right now. Keep your head clear, good luck and godspeed. And both of you should talk to someone.

Rachel

Re: Serious situation - advice needed LONG-UPDATE

i am glad he's safe - and that you are too - have a good rest and tkae your time thinking it all over before you both talk - good luck and if you need anything, just let me know..