She Hates Me!

Ok, now I know that my mother-in-law and I dont have the greatest relationship. I mean, I really dont care for her, but always put a smile on my face and keep my mouth shut. But now she has just gone too far.

We got the proofs back from the wedding, and she came over to pick out the ones she wanted for her Parent Album. Also, she wanted to have a picture blown up to 11x14. So she chose to have a family picture enlarged. She chose the photo of her family (her, her husband, my husband and her other 2 childred) - I AM NOT IN THE PHOTO. Now she had 2 photos in her hand, one with me in and one without me in it.. and she turns to me and says 'I want this one' and hands me the photo with me missing.

When I told my husband, he flipped out and called her to see if maybe she made a mistake (I did not want him too, but he was way upset). She said 'no, I didnt make a mistake. I just want a photo of my family'.

This is really really bugging me and my husband. He is very upset. He told me that I dont have to call her mom anymore, and I am not. She totally disrespected me.

Any comments/advise?

My mom had one blown up of her, my brother, me, her mother, and my uncle, no DH. She has other smaller ones with all of us, but I think she just wanted to have one of her family, and I know DH is a part of that now, but it isn't the same. They have a great relationship, and he didn't care. I blew one up for my MIL of just her children, without me. I know I am a part of their family, but I would understand her wanting one with her children.

i don't even know what to say to this. She is just unbelievable!! I'm so sorry!

I don't know what to say, that's really hurtful. I am so glad your DH is on your side!!

Iam so sorry that you have to go through this, and I have to give your DH credit for speaking up. I think he should confront her and let her know that her unacceptable behavior and attititude towards his wife, who is now 'his' family, will not be tolerated.

That was really cruel of her. I think you have a right to be upset. I can't believe how mean people can be. If I were you, I wouldn't waste my money and blow up that picture for her. Let her pay to do it her self or not at all.

Don't say anything, just don't do it. If she asks about, then I think you are within your rights to give her a piece of your mind. Or if she asks for it tell her how much it costs to get it blown up and see if she still wants to pay for it.

However, if you think it more effective to have DH talk to her, then maybe you should let him talk to her. But, I think it is clear she knew what she was doing is pointed. and further more doesn't sound like she would be repentant given the comment about wanting a picture with her family. What about you-aren't you her family too?

I am sorry that you had to experience that. But, thank goodness your DH understands how you are feeling and is there to support you.

I hope this helps!

It really hurts me, b/c I have never given her a reason to dislike me. She is a cold hard woman. She practically wore white to my wedding, bitched about everything about my wedding, I have just had it with her.

Example: i am allergic to cats- BAD... and she had a cat, I would go to the house and she would 'try' to keep the cat in the other room, but for some reason, would always get out. It wasnt that bad, i would just get the sneezes and that was it. but as if that wasnt enough, she went out and got ANOTHER CAT! and told my husband that I was 'making my allergies up b/c I dont want to go to her house'

I have just had it!

WOW...that is obnoxious!

I am so sorry, but I give your husband a lot of credit for stucking up for you!!!! He is truly a real man, and it is nice that he loves you so much!!!

My Husband is great, he always sticks up for me and tells me to do what I have to do. He told me this when we got married... 'There is only one woman I have to make happy and that is my wife'

His dad told him that the day we got engaged! and its been that way ever since.

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Posted by nov04LIbride

My mom had one blown up of her, my brother, me, her mother, and my uncle, no DH. She has other smaller ones with all of us, but I think she just wanted to have one of her family, and I know DH is a part of that now, but it isn't the same. They have a great relationship, and he didn't care. I blew one up for my MIL of just her children, without me. I know I am a part of their family, but I would understand her wanting one with her children.

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I am sorry, but I completely disagree. This is about your wedding, not just another family get together. And would it be such a big deal to have them in the picture? Use another picture to blow up from another event, not the wedding and then leave the bride or groom out!!!

That's just wrong!!!!

That is so cruel, I am so sorry.

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Posted by kittythestray

I don't know what to say, that's really hurtful. I am so glad your DH is on your side!!

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I agree. You have your DH on your side right now and that's all that really matters. It's nice to have a good relationship with your MIL, but if not, OH WELL! You have your OWN household to concern yourself with now. If she keeps this up she'll probably run the risk of losing her son which I'm sure she doesn't want. My mom always told me that you can catch more flies with honey then with vinegar meaning let her feel the way she wants to feel. She'll come around

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Posted by glinda_goodwitch

OMG, I'm so sorry! I couldn't imagine dealing with something like that. I would be heartbroken. I would say that you and your DH should no go to holidays at their house then, if you are not considered 'family'. Teach your FMIL that there are consequences to her actions. Hopefully she'll come around.

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Posted by curliegirl

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Posted by nov04LIbride

My mom had one blown up of her, my brother, me, her mother, and my uncle, no DH. She has other smaller ones with all of us, but I think she just wanted to have one of her family, and I know DH is a part of that now, but it isn't the same. They have a great relationship, and he didn't care. I blew one up for my MIL of just her children, without me. I know I am a part of their family, but I would understand her wanting one with her children.

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I am sorry, but I completely disagree. This is about your wedding, not just another family get together. And would it be such a big deal to have them in the picture? Use another picture to blow up from another event, not the wedding and then leave the bride or groom out!!!

That's just wrong!!!!

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I see how it could be taken that way. She didn't have any blown up to 11x14, so we're talking 5x7 here, and she didn't have any with her, my brother, and me from any other events (my mom and I are very close and live on Long Island, but my brother does not). This was the first time we had a formal picture taken of the family (or really a whole family shot in...as long as I can remember). It wasn't as big a deal because my DH couldn't care less either way, and she has a whole collage of wedding pics we are both in. If it mattered to DH I would have asked her to get an additional one with him in it, but she is so nice to him, always buying him gifts and making him food, so he knows she loves him. I think women are much more sensitive to the actions of their MILs than men are.

I really don't know what to say. Just be glad that FH is def on your side, and understnads how hurt you are. That way nothing comes in between you too. Good Luck