Well I found out yesterday that my bright 18 yr old daughter had a baby LAST Sunday!!! She hid it from the whole family and of course didn't show at all so no one knew.... I come home from work last night to her and her boyfriend and this ....baby at my house. Yeah i am upset... I don't want to be a grandmother at 39... I don't even want to think about it or the fact that no one else in the family knows... Yep I am rambling... Just don't say Congrats...Please... Just thought I would fill you in... To top it off FH is Thrilled... Can I just run away???
Snick n Nick
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Re: So I am a Grandmother...
not sure what else to say but
KarinAmanda
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Posted by JodyLC
Well I found out yesterday that my bright 18 yr old daughter had a baby LAST Sunday!!! She hid it from the whole family and of course didn't show at all so no one knew.... I come home from work last night to her and her boyfriend and this ....baby at my house. Yeah i am upset... I don't want to be a grandmother at 39... I don't even want to think about it or the fact that no one else in the family knows... Yep I am rambling... Just don't say Congrats...Please... Just thought I would fill you in... To top it off FH is Thrilled... Can I just run away???
hugs for you, stay strong!
MrsHtobe
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Re: So I am a Grandmother...
I know you don't want to hear it - but a baby is a blessing no matter when or where it comes from.
I understand your frustrations, but hey, you'll be the hottest grandma on the block! (just trying to lighten it up)
Where was she living all this time???
JodyLC
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Posted by MrsHtobe
I know you don't want to hear it - but a baby is a blessing no matter when or where it comes from.
I understand your frustrations, but hey, you'll be the hottest grandma on the block! (just trying to lighten it up)
Where was she living all this time???
Her own apartment, she turned 18 May 2nd, moved out June 1st, Graduated high school with 6 semesters of college finished on June 8th.
BNBride60
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Re: So I am a Grandmother...
Posted by MrsHtobe
I know you don't want to hear it - but a baby is a blessing no matter when or where it comes from.
I understand your frustrations, but hey, you'll be the hottest grandma on the block! (just trying to lighten it up)
Where was she living all this time???
I agree...I know it is hard now but I think you will grow to think of it as a blessing in disguise...
Future Mulligan
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wow
im sorry - do you know why she hid her pregnancy this whole time? did she think that you would be mad at her? im sure she just really needs your love and support right now....im sure this is difficult for you - its not like you had 9 months to get used to the idea - kwim? so its understandable if you arent overjoyed at this very moment
MrsHtobe
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Posted by JodyLC
Posted by MrsHtobe
I know you don't want to hear it - but a baby is a blessing no matter when or where it comes from.
I understand your frustrations, but hey, you'll be the hottest grandma on the block! (just trying to lighten it up)
Where was she living all this time???
Her own apartment, she turned 18 May 2nd, moved out June 1st, Graduated high school with 6 semesters of college finished on June 8th.
Wow, I'm sorry that you are going through this. I hope that you can manage to find the positive in the situation!
Maria31
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JodyLC
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Posted by Future Mulligan
wow
im sorry - do you know why she hid her pregnancy this whole time? did she think that you would be mad at her? im sure she just really needs your love and support right now....im sure this is difficult for you - its not like you had 9 months to get used to the idea - kwim? so its understandable if you arent overjoyed at this very moment
Apparently she thought I would freak out... I don't even have words right now... TThe bad thing is, is I asked her repeatedly are you pregnant? I asked at least 6 times... even the day she came and moved her old baby crib out of the house.. She ALWAYS told me 'NO Mom, I want a life first'. I am just hurt and pissed she lied to me about it.
davenjess
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Re: So I am a Grandmother...
Jody - i don't know what to say. i am so sorry...words cannot express how sorry i am...
anneandchris
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Jody I don't know what to say.
First and foremost I am assuming that she and the baby are both healthy. That is most important.
You have every right to be hurt and angry. She lied to you and betrayed your trust -- BUT she has come to you now. She needs you. And while it may take time to get used to or to process the whole thing -- she will always be your daughter and this child will always be your grandbaby. Maybe not the way you planned it for her but still a blessing.
I know it is hard now, and please feel free to vent to us, but please don't ever let her feel like you are ashamed in anyway (not saying that you are) or that because she lied to you about this you could never trust her again. It may take time to build the trust back up but they need you so please stay strong!
JodyLC
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Well I kinda flipped out last night (enough I took 2 valium and went to bed). I was going off on her for lying to me and her Fing boyfriend (who I might add I let live with us this year when his mother passed away and his dad took up with another woman 2 days later). Anyway he went off on me in my own house and told me you're to scared to be a grandmother, then he proceeded to call me ALOT of names. I wasn't even freaking over the baby I was freaking over her lying to me and him too!! But no!! No one can understand that the daughter that i was so proud of and thought we shared everything lied to me about something that should of been one of the most exciting things in my life... I'm not allowed to be pissed over it. FH is not speaking to me because 'I was not acting like an adult'. But yet HE FREAKED when he found out, called me ALL night at work ranting, then when I come home it was all OK. and I was supposed to be all happy... happy...joy...joy... NOT. I needed my time to snap also...
GinaZ
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Re: So I am a Grandmother...
it'll all work out. Im sorry it was hidden from you.
ttw910
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Wow I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Stay strong!
kori22ny
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You do have the right to be upset for her not telling you and maybe if you would have known earlier you might have been a little bit prepared, but just knowing after the baby is born, must of been a TOTAL shock. I don't know what type of relationship you had with your daughter, but all I tell you is that she really needs you right now and you should be there to support and guide her, put everything aside for now and maybe in a few months you guys are more comfortable with the situation you can talk about this. I don't think I can ever forgive my mother for turning her back on me when I got pregnant, at 25 non the less I was a grown woman and pretty much on my own, so as a mother and daughter I think the best is for you to support your daughter and enjoy this experience with her.
Future Mulligan
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i think its understandable for you to have time to deal with all these emotions - i mean who wouldnt flip out? its a lot for you to deal with - and i 100% understand that you feel betrayed and im really sorry you are hurting.....i guess you just have to put yourself in your daughters shoes and try to see thing from her point of view....i knew a girl in high school who did the same thing - her family didnt find out until she was in labor - so it does happen, girls do hide pregnancies.....
jody how does the boyfriend treat your daughter? is he good to her? i think him flipping out on you was uncalled for but he does seem to care for your daughter - he is still around which is a good thing - is he a good provider? is he older? have a good job? im hoping he is a decent guy and that you guys can work things out
RKellner
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Re: So I am a Grandmother...
I can understand you being upset for her lying to you and hiding it from you the whole time... But if she had came to you and told you she was pregnant what would you have done and said? what exactly are you the most upset over, the fact that she hid it or the fact that you are a grandmother at 39? I dont want this to sound rude but a baby is a blessing no matter what... Maybe you should be happy and look at you GRANDCHILD and give that baby a kiss.... Just the way you came off and said what you said, is wrong in my opinion...That BABY is YOUR grandchild... Congrats to your daughter.. I wont say congrats to you because you dont want to hear that and I personally dont think you deserve a congrats after the way you spoke of the baby...
I only say this the way I do because I came home pregnant at 20 and my parents accepted me AND my daughter.. And my daughter means more to my parents then anything in this world... They never would have talked about my baby the way you are of your grandchild....
Mrs. V 2008
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I'm sorry..I really don't know what to say..I hope you feel better
Future Mulligan
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i just wanted to add that it seems like the reason your daughter didnt tell you was b/c she was afraid of your reaction and maybe disapproval - so it might be best for the situation if you suck up all those feelings and give her some support - she might take your hurt the wrong way - and it might confirm for her the reason she didnt tell you in the first place - do you understand what i mean? like if you give a bad reaction to all this, it proves her point for not telling you - does that make sense? so maybe you can just be as supportive as possible and try to make things right - reach out to her - show her you love her - she will love you back for it i am sure and maybe that will make you feel a little better
