So my husband and I are getting separated

Original post by aliciahelene

Mar 25, 2005 08:46 PM

We had problems before the marriage, I should have trusted my gut and got out then, but I thought I had a bad case of wedding jitters..now its still here and it turns out he never wanted these boys. I feel like Im going to throw up. Ive thought long and hard about it and I am still getting those boys. Ive done all of the work, all of the communicating with them,,Ive paid every dime towards this adoption..they are my children, and although I had hoped to give them a nice happy home with a loving father, Im glad I found this out NOW before they got here. I am not asking for anyones advice..my mind is made up ..I have thought this through COMPLETLY, but I could use alot of hugs!!! Please

Boop2704 Posted: Mar 25, 2005 09:44 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

Alicia, you are going to be a great mom!! As long as those boys have your love, they will be set for life and you have lots of that to give!! I wish you all the best and if you need anything please FM!!

Miro127 Posted: Mar 25, 2005 09:58 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

christy Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:00 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

WOW! I wish you all the best, I know it will be hard, but you will be an awesome mom!

David'sbride Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:04 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

Alicia,

I read all of your posts concerning the adoption and they really tugged at my heart strings. I am so saddened by this news. You are an amazing woman of such great strength. God doesn't give us anymore than we can handle, although I know, when you are in the thick of it it can be difficult to agree with that.

BTW, my cousin (early 40's, single, never married) adopted her son from Guatemala last year. Due to political turmoil in that country she went through an almost two year struggle to get him... yes, they had a revolution right in the middle of the adoption process. Since adopting him she has made many friends and they have joined together to help her raise her son. One young girl in her condo community comes over on Saturday morning as a mother's helper, she met a man in her complex (she won't fess up if she is dating him) and he is wonderful with her son. She said she felt her life began when she got her son.

You are meant to be with your boys. They need you and you need them. I'm sorry for the pain you must feel regarding your marriage. You are a very generous and loving woman. I hope this painful period passes as soon as possible and I hope the adoption process is a speedy one.

My Dad raised my brother and I alone after my mother died in a tragic car accident. Sure, money, time and energy were tight but one person who has their heart in the right place can be more of a parent than some 'two parent' familes out there.

My Dad is my hero and you are/will be your son's hero.

dm24angel Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:09 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

I'm so sorry for you , many hugs and prayers for you at this difficult time. You are a strong strong woman and you will be stronger because of this. HAppy times with your sons are on their way!

swags1016 Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:11 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

Alicia I am so sorry to read this. We all know that you are an incredibly strong woman, and if anyone can do this you can!!! I know that you must be scared, but you can do this. You have been so strong through Dex's illness, the adoption you can do this. You will have all of our support and encouragement and I hope that knowing that will help provide you with some strength!!

Are you going to be staying in NJ or are you thinking about coming back to NY?

sophie78 Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:13 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

I am really sorry that this is happening to you. But at the same time it seems like you are beginning what will be an amazing journey.

IrishTracy Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:14 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

janet Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:15 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

i am sooooo sorry sweety that you are going through this! i was a single mom for 6 years. if you ever need someone to talk to or to babysit i am here for you like you have been for me ! i just wish i knew what i can do to help! please fm me if you need anything!!!!!!!!!!

skew Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:17 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

oh sweetie, i am SO sorry

aliciahelene Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:18 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

Thanks so much!!! I have no idea yet where I am going to go...wherever I can afford..whats rent like in NY? I am so stressed out..I need to get a good full time job, a nice 2 bedroom apt that I can afford..Im just so damn stressed right now. I know I will be ok..I just cant see that striaght yet. But thank you guys for your amazing support as always. I feel like my hearts been ripped out of me..this *****

MrsERod Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:19 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

janet Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:19 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

i am sending you fm please read in a min!

lilmrs Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:20 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

Just want to give some more

checka Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:22 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

I'm so sorry that you are going through this

nsgraham Posted: Mar 25, 2005 10:24 PM

Re: So my husband and I are getting separated

I am SO sorry this is happening! The thing to remember is that you're not alone - you'll have your family and you have the boys. It's best of be rid of a bad man, rather than figuring out years later that you wasted all of that time.