Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

I too would rather not talk about it, I also agree with Michelle31, I can't watch tv this week either!! It's not something I'm trying to forget but my FH works a few blocks from where it all happened & watched the second plane hit the second tower, then I had to wait what seemed for years for him to get home that day. Everyday I thank God that he's still in my life. I lost a co-worker that day and I think we all need to grieve and find our OWN way to deal with this. It's bad enough everyone can't stop talking about it. They had interviews with the NYFD & even they are like 'enough already, let us grieve in private.' So I know you're only trying to help but it's not something I think most of us are willing to chat freely about.

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

Personally, I am still dealing with the effects. I was 1 block away, thank God I didn't loose anyone close...I did know some victims though. Since then I quit my job...it was much too hard to be down there so soon after (10) days.
I am still feeling the effects. I don't want to hear or see any more news about it.
Tomorrow I am not going to work. We are having a girls day out, me, mom, my aunts and 2 close friends. WE ARE LOOKING FOR DRESSES!!!
We are going to have a happy day. NO TV AT ALL.
I cant' bear to live it all over again.

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

My FH is also NYPD. However his Dad worked in Tower II so my FH was home taking care of his mother. We still haven't heard or found anything. I think that is the hardest part. I also work in NYC, midtown 39th and 3rd. I saw the whole thing from my office window and just felt helpless. If I could only contact his dad and tell him to get the hell out of the builing. You see he was on his way down when the Port Authority made the announcement and then he went back up. That is when the second plane hit. He was with other co workers who decided to continue down and made it. That is how close he was. Well I got engaged on 1/25/02 and the wedding is 7/19/03. It will be difficult, but I know he approved of Frank and I getting married. So we will all be staying in the city tonight cause tomorrow the services start bright and early.

Thanks for letting me vent......

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

71903- please, please do not for one second think you could have changed anything. Because I truly believe with all my heart that you couldn't. I felt so sad when I read your post. I am sooo sorry that your FH and family have had to go through this. But there was nothing that you could have done because you do not have a crystal ball. You had no idea what would happen, like the rest of us, we were all helpless that day.

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

Decbride, I also know how you feel. I am also marrying a NYC police officer who was down at ground zero on 9/11 and for 3 weeks after. He also was working 16 hour days and it was very hard on us. Your original post was about 9/11 but what I think some people might not realize is that for people marrying police, firemen, and military officers, something like this is wedding related for us. Our future husbands were hugely affected on a first hand basis and saw things that no one should ever have to see. Along with that, many of our FHs will be back in NYC tomorrow and for many days to follow working special assignments and details that put them on the front grounds if anything does happen. Believe me, I count my blessings everyday that my FH is alive and well, but the thought of living with the fear of having a NYC cop as my husband is very scary. I don't think you brought this topic up to sadden anyone, but instead to try to find others that have the same fears as you do. Well, you found one here if you need to talk.

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

I have to tell everyone it has been on my mind a lot lately. Not only did my dad pass away 3 weeks before, but I have been in total shock, becuase I did not have cable then, I did not know as much becuase tv was out, then I was walking around in a fog becuase I had no mom or dad left. So, when my Fh turned on CNN this past weekend, I could not believe what I was watching on the television. I feel so bad for these people who have lost, etc. Not only that it is also my FH birthday! What a miserable day for that. My FH best friend is a cop and was there digging for hours and days on end, I do not think anyone will ever forget this horrible tragedy.

Liz, I sent you an email.....

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

Sha11209, that was exactly what I was trying to get at. I figured there a probably quite a few of us in the same position, and just wanted us all to know we were here for each other. You put it better than I did. Thanks.

Sha1102/DecBride 02

Sha/Dec02 Bride

Maybe all of us who have married police officers/firefighters can start our own thread on the NWR board. I am married to a firefighter who was on duty that day and barely got out of the towers alive. We live with this day in and day out. The nightmares, the feelings of loss etc. We do not have the option of turning off the TV or the radio, because certain images and memories are in our FH and DH's minds that we cannot erase. I do not mean to sound that this has not affected everyone in some way, because I'm sure it has.. JUST MHO, hope I did not offend anyone

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

Don't worry, I think there are quite a few of us out there. It's not easy being the significant other of a cop, fireman, or military official. It's a lot different then having a husband with an office job. My father is also a retired dectective, so I thought I'd be pretty conditioned for this, but now I realize there was alot I didn't know that went on when I was a kid!
What precint is your FH in? Where will he be working tomorrow?

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

Maybe starting our own thread would be a good idea. I definately think the support will help. I've been ok but as this day comes to an end, I'm starting to freak out about tomorrow. Last night I couldn't sleep(more b/c of wedding stuff) and I found myself just staring at my FH and the thoughts I imagine are horrifying!

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

Right now he is on special assignment out of LIC. He is working tomorrow, but has not made a final decision if he is going to Manhattan tomorrow or not. I too am from a cop family, my Grandfather, Father, brother and brother in law are/were all cops, and up until 9/11 I did not have any problems with him being a cop. But now it seems that they are more than cops, the firemen as well. They are soldiers, required to be anti-terrorist specialists as well as cops and fireman. My nieces husband was in the Army and just re-enlisted a couple of months ago. I don't know how she/or any wife of the military does it either. What scares me too is that it is not only the cops, fireman and military personnel that are in danger. The majority of the people lost on 9/11 were office workers. I just never thought as Americans we would ever have to experience anything like this.

LIZ............ on everyones minds

MY husband works out of LIC too
where does mark work? He used to be in the 108 but now he is on assignment too

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

Keep your TV's OFF!! Does the media think we need to see it again?! Like it isn't burned into our memories?! I think we all need to be with our friends and families and remember all the innocent lives that were taken and changed.

I just have a real problem with the media - can you tell I realize they have a job to do but to what degree - is it about ratings??

I am a teacher, as many of you are, and my students are even saying that it's enough - they didn't forget - no one can.


ok - thanks for letting me vent.

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

I guess who eveer chooses to talk about it will subscribe to this thread. I have no problem talking about it, but am in no mood to watch t.v tomorrow. How many times can they keep showing the planes hitting the towers, and them crubling down. It really makes me sad and angry as well
We are having a moment of silence tomoorw at the high school I work at and will be planting daffodil bulbs. We cant just forget this day ever happened.
It is a prt of our nation. We will never forget, but we need to go on with our lives.

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

Just a thought from a different angle...indirectly, part of the reason my FH and I got engaged was 9/11. He is older than me and I kept saying we should 'wait'another year or so, for no good reason really. I knew he was the one for me, no doubt. After all that happened that day, it made me realize that life is too precious and i didnt want to 'wait' another second.
I feel so lucky to have found my soul mate and to be planning a celebration that includes my family and all of my friends. People need joy and laughter these days more than ever and there is nothing better to bring that then a wedding...a celebration of enduring love.
My heart goes out to those of you who have lost someone in last years tragedy.

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

I thought I was prepared for today. It is a lot harder than I anticipated.

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

this day is harder than last sept...for me anyway- because the shock is over and the grief is here.

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

My sister and her two small girls will be there today and tomorrow. She lost her husband. He worked in tower 1 on the 101st floor. He called that morning and said I am ok and to turn on the news. then he hung up to get out. Never did! I have been real down today. Stayed up late watching tv and up at 6:30 again to see the bag pipers. My prayers are with everyone!!

Re: So when do we talk about 9/11, it has to be on everyones minds

Mary
Please extend my prayers to your sister & her children.
I also knew people who perished (4 of them) but no one super close to me.
Its so sad.
Today was horrible. I hope shes ok