Spinoff.... Do yo care if your man goes to Strip clubs?

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Posted by Janice


I think I know what you mean, I knew a girl who was in nursing school who stripped...but I am sorry, it is probably closed minded of me, but if it walks like a duck......

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Just curious, are you talking exclusively about dancers, or anyone who works in a strip club?

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Posted by Janice

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Posted by don424

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Posted by Janice

I would have a huge problem with this. That ship sailed when he said 'I do'

DH worked in a nudist colony for 8 years bartending, I have heard all and seen all.

My husband belongs home with his wife, not out giving money away to whores.

ETA: I am a secure woman, who never complained about my DH's job all those years. Once we got engaged he came home and told me he was done with that place because he wants to only see me. We are still friends with the nudist and 9 of them came up for the wedding. I feel like we both work hard all week, and if there is time for us to be together, I would hate it if he decided to go see skanks. DH has turned down invites to bacholar parties, knowing that it causes drama.

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i respect that opinion

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thanks also wanted to add, once I heard DH talking to his brother and DH was telling him how he does not think he would enjoy going to a strip club, he would feel bad for the strippers and desperation for a better life

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yeah don't get me wrong and i hope no one thinks i'm like a total neanderthal here. If it's a weekly occurrence that you're going, that is a problem, in my book. But if it's like a birthday or a bachelor party, I don't see the problem with it, as long as you discuss it with your SO first, listen and compromise and know your limits. For me, the rule now is, I can look and enjoy, but I can't touch.

When it was my BP, I had more leeway cuz it was my last time, so there was like an imaginary line I couldn't cross. i could touch anything above a certain point, nothing below it. And I couldn't do anything that involved the exchange of bodily fluid. And if I was being touched, it was OK as long as it wasn't on the main part.

My friends tried to get me to do more, but I would not be able to lie about it and I would hate myself if I broke a trust.

The next day we sat down and I told her everything and all was fine.

I think I have more of a problem with it when I hear of women who won't let their husbands go to a bachelor party for someone else because there will be girls there. If you are the guest of honor, I can understand the need to come to an agreement, because if you get girls, the groom is the center of attention. But, when you're just a guest, I don't see the reason for not allowing someone to go.

On strip clubs, I'm inclined to agree with Felicia's husband, they're a ripoff, the girls just want your money and when you are married, you get used to getting turned on and then actually being able to finish. nothing is worse than walking out of a strip club with a 'loaded gun' and not being able to pull the trigger.

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Posted by don424

When it was my BP, I had more leeway cuz it was my last time, so there was like an imaginary line I couldn't cross. i could touch anything above a certain point, nothing below it. And I couldn't do anything that involved the exchange of bodily fluid. And if I was being touched, it was OK as long as it wasn't on the main part.

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LOL nice. Hahahaha.

My FW gave me three rules for my bachelor party (assuming we have it in Vegas).

1. Don't f--- anybody
2. Don't drink and drive
3. Don't gamble away the co-op


Everything else more or less is fair game I guess. But I am one of those people who *never* go to strip clubs. I am sure I will be a good boy.

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Posted by don424

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Posted by Janice

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Posted by don424

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Posted by Janice

I would have a huge problem with this. That ship sailed when he said 'I do'

DH worked in a nudist colony for 8 years bartending, I have heard all and seen all.

My husband belongs home with his wife, not out giving money away to whores.

ETA: I am a secure woman, who never complained about my DH's job all those years. Once we got engaged he came home and told me he was done with that place because he wants to only see me. We are still friends with the nudist and 9 of them came up for the wedding. I feel like we both work hard all week, and if there is time for us to be together, I would hate it if he decided to go see skanks. DH has turned down invites to bacholar parties, knowing that it causes drama.

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i respect that opinion

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thanks also wanted to add, once I heard DH talking to his brother and DH was telling him how he does not think he would enjoy going to a strip club, he would feel bad for the strippers and desperation for a better life

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And I couldn't do anything that involved the exchange of bodily fluid.

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Well that's pretty obvious!

I wouldn't tell my husband he couldn't go to a bachelor party. I don't want to be one of those wives. Not if it's for something like that. And what if he's the best man for someone? It's putting him in a tough position.

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by don424

When it was my BP, I had more leeway cuz it was my last time, so there was like an imaginary line I couldn't cross. i could touch anything above a certain point, nothing below it. And I couldn't do anything that involved the exchange of bodily fluid. And if I was being touched, it was OK as long as it wasn't on the main part.

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LOL nice. Hahahaha.

My FW gave me three rules for my bachelor party (assuming we have it in Vegas).

1. Don't f--- anybody
2. Don't drink and drive
3. Don't gamble away the co-op


Everything else more or less is fair game I guess. But I am one of those people who *never* go to strip clubs. I am sure I will be a good boy.

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awesome and she DIDN'T say that you couldn't gamble away the car

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Posted by violet
I wouldn't tell my husband he couldn't go to a bachelor party. I don't want to be one of those wives. Not if it's for something like that. And what if he's the best man for someone? It's putting him in a tough position.

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You get a *thundering PaleBride applause* for this statement.

I wish all women shared this view. But I guess there will always be insecure people out there in this world that think a man can never look at another women if they are engaged or married.

Hell... and not to sound sexist... i even know a few MEN that are insecure in this same regard. Shame shame shame.

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Posted by violet

That doesn't mean I encourage him to go to strip clubs, I just don't want to hold him back from a bachelor party. My friend's husband actually had his brother as his best man, and his girlfriend didn't want him going to a strip club, so he didn't plan his bachelor party then, my friend's brother had to plan it then. Oddly enough, then his best man was at the strip club too, I guess so he could say to his girlfriend 'oh I didn't know it was going to be here, I didn't plan it.' What an idiot, you shouldn't ruin it for someone else.

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great strategy

DH doesn't like strippers and says he has never been to a strip club. No desire to go and throw his $$ away. The only time he has ever seen strippers is at Bachelor Partys and I am fine with that.

His brother hired strippers for his Bachelor Party and I had no problem because DH was skeeved out anyway

ETA: I went to a strip club with a couple of girlfriends in New Orleans...Larry Flynts Hustler Club...it was hilarious!

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Posted by Janice

I would have a huge problem with this. That ship sailed when he said 'I do'

DH worked in a nudist colony for 8 years bartending, I have heard all and seen all.

My husband belongs home with his wife, not out giving money away to whores.

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I find it a little hypocritical that you don't consider your DH a whore for working at a nudist colony, but women who work in a strip club are all whores. I know several people who have worked in stripclubs none of whom are whores. I can understand your not wanting your DH to go to them, but calling all strippers whores is just really harsh and inaccurate.

He doesn't really go, but if he did for a bachelor party or something like that it would be fine for me. If he went like every night then there would be a problem. But moderation is OK.
I have gone with him a few times... not as sexy as people think

I agree.... As long as it's not an every weekend thing with the guys, then I'm ok with it.

Bachelor Parties are the only time, and those are rare, so I'm ok with that.

okay first...he does not go to bacholar parties to avoid drama with me, he has a mind of his own, and his own opinions..he does not go to bacholar parties for reasons listed in other threads. He does not want to see any married or involved family members crossing over lines with strippers. DH had a cheating father and has no tolerence for married men who cheat, so he avoids the situation.

second...DH's choice of employment was not my idea, and I did have issues with it. I am not my DH's keeper, I do not set rules for him, I am not his mother. I would not have worked in that place, I feel like it is a job for a whore. So did DH, when we got engaged, he said he did not feel right about it. DH was not nude at work, he was fully dressed. He certainly was not bouncing up and down on anyone's laps. I don't take issue with bartenders at strip clubs, I don't care if my DH orders a drink from a half naked girl.

third...DH is a very fun drinker..when he drinks only 1 thing is on his mind. He is well aware of this, and only prefers to drink with me. If he goes out with friends, he is usually the driver, because once he drinks he only wants 1 thing. He is avoiding bad times that is it.

finally...I do think his place is home with his wife, sorry...but that is how I feel. he is a full time student and works full time. Any spare time he has, it would hurt my feelings if he decided to go to a strip club.

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Posted by don424





My friends tried to get me to do more, but I would not be able to lie about it and I would hate myself if I broke a trust.

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Don, you are different than my DH, once the drinking starts inhibitions go away really quick. Your use of good judgement is what keeps my DH from going, he does not think he will have any in that situation.

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Posted by Janice

okay first...he does not go to bacholar parties to avoid drama with me, he has a mind of his own, and his own opinions..he does not go to bacholar parties for reasons listed in other threads. He does not want to see any married or involved family members crossing over lines with strippers. DH had a cheating father and has no tolerence for married men who cheat, so he avoids the situation.

second...DH's choice of employment was not my idea, and I did have issues with it. I am not my DH's keeper, I do not set rules for him, I am not his mother. I would not have worked in that place, I feel like it is a job for a whore. So did DH, when we got engaged, he said he did not feel right about it. DH was not nude at work, he was fully dressed. He certainly was not bouncing up and down on anyone's laps. I don't take issue with bartenders at strip clubs, I don't care if my DH orders a drink from a half naked girl.

third...DH is a very fun drinker..when he drinks only 1 thing is on his mind. He is well aware of this, and only prefers to drink with me. If he goes out with friends, he is usually the driver, because once he drinks he only wants 1 thing. He is avoiding bad times that is it.

finally...I do think his place is home with his wife, sorry...but that is how I feel. he is a full time student and works full time. Any spare time he has, it would hurt my feelings if he decided to go to a strip club.

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it almost sounds to me that he doesn't want to go to a strip club and drink becuase he doesn't trust himself

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Posted by don424

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Posted by Janice

okay first...he does not go to bacholar parties to avoid drama with me, he has a mind of his own, and his own opinions..he does not go to bacholar parties for reasons listed in other threads. He does not want to see any married or involved family members crossing over lines with strippers. DH had a cheating father and has no tolerence for married men who cheat, so he avoids the situation.

second...DH's choice of employment was not my idea, and I did have issues with it. I am not my DH's keeper, I do not set rules for him, I am not his mother. I would not have worked in that place, I feel like it is a job for a whore. So did DH, when we got engaged, he said he did not feel right about it. DH was not nude at work, he was fully dressed. He certainly was not bouncing up and down on anyone's laps. I don't take issue with bartenders at strip clubs, I don't care if my DH orders a drink from a half naked girl.

third...DH is a very fun drinker..when he drinks only 1 thing is on his mind. He is well aware of this, and only prefers to drink with me. If he goes out with friends, he is usually the driver, because once he drinks he only wants 1 thing. He is avoiding bad times that is it.

finally...I do think his place is home with his wife, sorry...but that is how I feel. he is a full time student and works full time. Any spare time he has, it would hurt my feelings if he decided to go to a strip club.

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it almost sounds to me that he doesn't want to go to a strip club and drink becuase he doesn't trust himself

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that is exactly it.. he has never gone to a strip club or bach party, he does not want to get himself into anything that he might not be coherent enough to get away from...when we drink, we really drink. we like a good time, and we get sloppy.. we don't drink often, we would be broke, but when we do we drink to get wasted.

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Posted by Janice

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Posted by don424





My friends tried to get me to do more, but I would not be able to lie about it and I would hate myself if I broke a trust.

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Don, you are different than my DH, once the drinking starts inhibitions go away really quick. Your use of good judgement is what keeps my DH from going, he does not think he will have any in that situation.

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i'm sorry and i hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, but to me that's a problem, in my opinion

i think that people that do things when they are drunk and then chalk it up to 'the alcohol talking' is creating a big cop out

while the lines between right and wrong become blurred when you drink, there are some things you know are wrong no matter if you are buzzed or smashed.

If that was my SO, I would question why she couldn't trust herself to be drunk around other men. If you are true to the bond of your marriage, it really doesn't matter what mental state you are in

IMO

i mean that's like a recovering alcoholic not going to a bar because of the temptation

whether you are drunk or sober, if you are married and true to the bond of marriage, there should be no temptation

when i say no to my friends to go to a strip club, it's because of the money or because we have something else planned -- not because i don't have enough trust in myself or marriage and may succumb to temptation if i get drunk

I definately have a problem with my man going to a strip club....why would he NEED to look at another woman naked???

It is disgusting and there is no reason he would need to go!!!!!!

what we have together is special and sacred and some skanky girl dances all over him would make me sick