Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!! UPDATE!!!!!

Original post by Jna2010

Aug 12, 2009 08:48 PM

who just happens to be my sister!!! I seriously just cant take her, ive been going back and forth on this for a while, but have tried to keep her as moh because 1) shes my sister 2) my mom really wants her to be 3) i dont feel like dealing with family gossip

But seriously I just dont like her lol i lover her cuz shes my sister but more times that not were fighting (like bad, ive never had anyone call me things she does) and as of the past week were not speaking, we just seriously dont get along and she's so inconsiderate and disrespectful and has done absolutely ZERO for me since i got engaged, nore does she even ASK how everything is (best example ---- she thought i was getting married this Novemeber, ummm helllloooooooo)

my moms away i dont want to tell her until she comes back cuz then she'll get all stressed out, is anyone else not having their sister as MOH?

UPDATE: so i asked her if she even wanted to be my moh since i never really asked her, and this is the convo:

me: dont say i guess or whatever just yes or no
sister: from the way your acting, not really
me: ok, do you want to be a bm or do you not want to be in the bridal party at all?
sister: count me out sis
me: ok

Yes I am hurt, but it was honestly just not working. I didnt even respond to her 'by the way your acting' comment cuz that wouldve just started another brawl

i feel better and sad at the same time, strange feeling

but thanks ladies for all your advice

FallBride2010 Posted: Aug 12, 2009 10:42 PM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

My sister is my MOH. We fight, but when it comes down to it, she is one of my best friends. And she will be a great MOH. If I didnt feel that close to her , I wouldnt ask her. Dont feel obligated. If she doesnt care about your day, she most likely wont care about her role, so demote her!!

JAAMS Posted: Aug 12, 2009 10:54 PM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

I don't have a sister, but I don't believe that sister/brother HAS to be MOH/Best Man.

I'm sorry that you'e going through this!

pjankowski Posted: Aug 12, 2009 11:15 PM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

I could not understand more. My sister and I do not have a good relationship at all. I actually am not going to ask her to be my MOH. It makes me sad and I know it upsets my mom somewhat but I really can not have someone that I don't really like much be my MOH. I wish our relationship was different but the bottom line is.... we don't get along. I am going to ask her to be a BM... she is my sister after all. I think that is enough of a sacrifice on my part!
You need to do what you know is going to make you happy. That is what your wedding planning and wedding day should be about!

Jna2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:16 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

thanks girls, my sister was never really that into it at all, she kind of had the title by default, and its pretty much the same situation as yours Janis.

I just think she could care less, we dont have a good relationship at all, and as much as i like the concept of having my sister as my MOH i just dont think she deserves it

I'm kind of more concerned right now with upsetting my mom, i hate when she gets stressed out so Im not gonna say anything until she comes back

Thanks for listening girls, hopefully this whole debacle will work itself out

marinai7 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:19 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

I'm sorry, I hope it works out. My sister and I used to argue all the time but since FH and I got engaged, we got soo much closer and she's been helping with everything. Maybe you can sit her down and talk to her and tell her how important this is to you - I know she should know that but sometimes people need a shove. Good Luck.

stinenandy2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:20 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

my sister is my MOH and i'm lucky to say she has been great so far, anything i ask her to do she does....of course sometimes she has to put me in my place but rightfully so.

maybe your sister is jealous or feels like she is losing you, has she always been this way?

i would sit down with her and have a talk.

Jna2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:25 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

Posted by stinenandy2010

my sister is my MOH and i'm lucky to say she has been great so far, anything i ask her to do she does....of course sometimes she has to put me in my place but rightfully so.

maybe your sister is jealous or feels like she is losing you, has she always been this way?

i would sit down with her and have a talk.

yeah we've always had this kind of relationship, sometimes we have a good streak lol and were like friends for a bit but then it hits rock bottom, like really bad, like i cant believe whats coming out of her mouth

i dont mean to sound snotty or anything so i hope no one takes this the wrong way, but i do feel like theres always been this jealousy thing for whatever reason, i just basically cant rely on her for anything, i mean she hasnt even seen my dress

i really wish she could be my moh but i just dont think its working out that way and i feel like im gonna be upset and disappointed in the end

soontobecruz Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:28 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

Awww Joanna I am sorry she is being this way. I think you should really have a talk with her and maybe just ask her, 'do you want to be my MOH' if she says yes, well then remind her that it comes with responsibility and you need her to come through. If she says No, then chose someone else. You're Mom can't get upset bc you would have asked her and it been a decsion you both made together. She might be sad but she certainly can't be mad at you.

Sorry your sister is acting this way I hope she shapes up

Jenna_and_John Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:30 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

Posted by KatieG2010

my sister is my MOH, i couldnt imagine anyone else but her being my MOH. She is obsessed with herself so i really dont depend on her for much but i love her to pieces!!!

Hahaha I'm sorry I will get back to the main focus of this thread in a second but this comment is 100% my situation lol. I'd hope my sister wouldn't get insulted to see this and I'd hope she'd just laugh it off but it's so us haha!

Joanna, I'm so sorry you have to go through this!! I think you should have someone as your MOH who YOU 100% want, not for someone else. However, I will point out that as obnoxious as she sounds right now and mean, she is your sister and family is sometimes all you have in the end, ya know? In a way it's just a title, may not be worth the hassle of changing it up. However, if it would make you that much happier and less stressed then I'm all for it. Sorry to not be fully 100% on this just trying ot show both sides.

stinenandy2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:30 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

Posted by Jna2010

Posted by stinenandy2010

my sister is my MOH and i'm lucky to say she has been great so far, anything i ask her to do she does....of course sometimes she has to put me in my place but rightfully so.

maybe your sister is jealous or feels like she is losing you, has she always been this way?

i would sit down with her and have a talk.

yeah we've always had this kind of relationship, sometimes we have a good streak lol and were like friends for a bit but then it hits rock bottom, like really bad, like i cant believe whats coming out of her mouth

i dont mean to sound snotty or anything so i hope no one takes this the wrong way, but i do feel like theres always been this jealousy thing for whatever reason, i just basically cant rely on her for anything, i mean she hasnt even seen my dress

i really wish she could be my moh but i just dont think its working out that way and i feel like im gonna be upset and disappointed in the end

how old is she? is it a maturity issue? my sister and i went through this, she is younger then me but once she saw the 'light' everything was good.

Jna2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:34 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

Posted by stinenandy2010

Posted by Jna2010

Posted by stinenandy2010

my sister is my MOH and i'm lucky to say she has been great so far, anything i ask her to do she does....of course sometimes she has to put me in my place but rightfully so.

maybe your sister is jealous or feels like she is losing you, has she always been this way?

i would sit down with her and have a talk.

yeah we've always had this kind of relationship, sometimes we have a good streak lol and were like friends for a bit but then it hits rock bottom, like really bad, like i cant believe whats coming out of her mouth

i dont mean to sound snotty or anything so i hope no one takes this the wrong way, but i do feel like theres always been this jealousy thing for whatever reason, i just basically cant rely on her for anything, i mean she hasnt even seen my dress

i really wish she could be my moh but i just dont think its working out that way and i feel like im gonna be upset and disappointed in the end

how old is she? is it a maturity issue? my sister and i went through this, she is younger then me but once she saw the 'light' everything was good.

she's 5 years older! lol but just to add some perspective my mom's gone for 6 weeks, and who do they rely on to pay all the bills and everything? yours truly

Jna2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:35 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

Posted by Jenna_and_John

Posted by KatieG2010

my sister is my MOH, i couldnt imagine anyone else but her being my MOH. She is obsessed with herself so i really dont depend on her for much but i love her to pieces!!!

Hahaha I'm sorry I will get back to the main focus of this thread in a second but this comment is 100% my situation lol. I'd hope my sister wouldn't get insulted to see this and I'd hope she'd just laugh it off but it's so us haha!

Joanna, I'm so sorry you have to go through this!! I think you should have someone as your MOH who YOU 100% want, not for someone else. However, I will point out that as obnoxious as she sounds right now and mean, she is your sister and family is sometimes all you have in the end, ya know? In a way it's just a title, may not be worth the hassle of changing it up. However, if it would make you that much happier and less stressed then I'm all for it. Sorry to not be fully 100% on this just trying ot show both sides.

i mean i never really asked her it was all just assumed so maybe i will just put it out there

Rosalind_75 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:41 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

this situation s*cks assss big time. im so sorry you have to deal with this.

my sister is my moh. i didnt even get to ask her she told me.lol
i wouldnt have it any other way. she has gone over and beyond for me since becoming engaged.
come to think of it she is into planning a little more than i am. hehehehe

i hope everything works out.
chin up

stinenandy2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:42 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

wow i can't believe she's older.....its usually the older one who is the responsible one....i guess she needs to grow up.

jcreilly Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:52 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

IM sorry my sister is my MOH we are super close and she is a maidzillia lol she yelled at our younger sister when she wanted to wear flats for my wedding lol I dont care she is 5'6 or7 and would tower over everyone so I told her yes! I would talk with your mom and explain how you feel!

MarjorieFrank Posted: Aug 13, 2009 08:54 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

That su cks!! It's so tough when it's family.
Good Luck

christine2010 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 09:10 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

my sister is my MOH. i wouldn't even dream of having someone else. she has gone above & beyond for me with the wedding. she set up every RH appointment & has helped me make ever decision along the way.

we still fight every once in a while but its not really fighting its more like bickering. like old married couples do. i personally think its because up until i turned 14 we shared a room together. she is 3 years younger then me.

3 years ago we had a big fight, to the point where we didn't speak for 5 months. it was really that bad. not only did we not speak to each other but we couldn't even stand to be in the same room as each other. i cried every night for 5 months straight because i was heart broken thinking that she wouldn't be my MOH.

we obviously worked everything out but that was because she saw what i was saying. (it was over a guy-of course)

good luck with your situation & i hope everything works out for the best.

Antigua8910 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 09:34 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

So sorry this is happening to you, but proud of you for dealing with the issue at hand. I let my mother tell my sister how it is....she calls and yells at my sister (who is 4 years older) for being a crappy MOH. We stopped inviting her to come dress shopping because she was so unpleasant and she actually only saw pictures of my dress online. You have to do what works for you. YOu need to be happy. Its not your family's wedding. It's yours.

AdriandSteve Posted: Aug 13, 2009 09:40 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

Sorry to hear your going through this. But based off what you said it def sounds like the best decision.

My sister isn't my MOH but it's a different situation. She's a BM.

Sandradv121 Posted: Aug 13, 2009 09:44 AM

Re: Thats it!!! I'm demotiong my MOH!!!!!

I have been very very very lucky that my sister/moh hasn't been like that. I mean, I don't ask a lot anyway, but when I do, she jumps right in. Like tomorrow, she is picking up my mom and my 2 grandmas and meeting me at Bridal Reflections to see my dress. All I did was ask and she said no prob. The only thing is she is only 18 years old, so a lot things I can't expect her to do entirely on her own. But she tries. I mean, she really does try hard too, like how she is planning my Bshower. She has these great ideas, but she has no idea where to begin.

Have you tried talking to your sister? Tell her the deal and if she doesn't want the responsiblity than let her go...