Thinking of cancelling my reception...need hugs (sorry...long)

I'm thinking of cancelling my reception...still going ahead with the ceremony because I love my FH to death. BUT....I'm running at about 42% no's and there is no way that I can make my room minimum. My parents are paying for the reception and want to go ahead with it, but I just can't justify them wasting all of their money on this. I just feel aweful. I know that part of the problem is that my FH is from CT and I've lived and worked in CT for 10 years, so it's hard for people to come to LI for a wedding. I also work with a lot of doctors and a lot of my colleagues couldn't be bothered to take a trip to NY just to celebrate with me. I feel so hurt that so many of the people who trained me in my residency and who I have worked with for years don't have enough respect to come.
Even my bridal shower was a disaster....out of 50 people invited, only about 10 showed up...not even my own godmother came. I feel so bad that my parents paid money for that (they had it at Milleridge). I would rather have not had one than make my wonderful parents pay for such a bad thing...and I know they feel terrible for me that no one came.
I just don't know what to do. I want to cancel the reception so my parents don't loose so much money, but they and my FH are insistent that we go through with it.

Is anyone interested in CLM for 9/29/07?

Sorry, I just needed some support and you girls have been great!

You are getting married on my bday First let me give you some hugs Second, If your FH wants the reception, then have the reception. This day is about you and him....no one else. If people cant make it, it s*cks for them. Don't let it ruin your day. Did you maybe have a B-list?

big hugs to you....

OMG you poor thing I'm so very sorry!!! Does it really look like you couldn't manage it with all those nos? Do you have another B list maybe?

I'm so sorry

Oh I'm so sorry!
Would you consider moving it to a smaller venue, so you'll still have a reception, just on a smaller scale. My co-worker is having a small wedding. her reception is at a nice restaurant rather than a RH.

Here's what I'm wondering--It's so close to your wedding date, won't they make you pay the minimum if you cancel anyway? In that case, you might as well go for it--AND, if you do, make sure you get at least your minimum's number of meals--you're paying for them after all!
Don't be sad--this is supposed to be such a fun time. Go for it! enjoy!!

I am sorry you are having a tough time!!! I only had about half the people invited to my shower come...but it was the people that meant the most & i had a great time despite the small size..about 15 people...as for our wedding we invited 217 and had 110 come...which was fine by us...for me the less the better! It is a celebration of your marriage...who cares if it's 20 people or 200, right??? cause the people that are there are the ones that cared enough to be a part of it!

Instead of cancelling...can you upgrade what they will be giving you? I would talk to your RH and explain the situation...i am sure they'd rather accommodate you than have you cancel...plus if you cancel...you will lose your deposit...good luck & here are some hugs...

I'm so sorry this is happening I agree that you should go ahead with the reception if your parents are willing and it really sounds like they want to pay for it, then go ahead and enjoy your day! Try to look at it as having extra room to dance!

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all of the support and suggestions. I just can't seem to help myself...I'm so depressed that all I want to do is stay in bed and cry...unfortunately, I don't have the luxury.

Any suggestions on where I can post the date to see if anyone wants it?

Thanks for all the support!

I agree with the previous posters, with your wedding only about 6 weeks away, it is going to cost you just about as much to cancel the wedding as to pay for the minimum # and have the wedding anyway!

Some things may be negotiable at this point with other vendors, like your florist ... less people = less tables = less CPs. You may be able to revise your contract with them, but do it NOW over the next week or so -- don't wait, because once they place the orders for your flowers it may be too late.

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Posted by HamptonsBride

I am sorry you are having a tough time!!! I only had about half the people invited to my shower come...but it was the people that meant the most & i had a great time despite the small size..about 15 people...as for our wedding we invited 217 and had 110 come...which was fine by us...for me the less the better! It is a celebration of your marriage...who cares if it's 20 people or 200, right??? cause the people that are there are the ones that cared enough to be a part of it!

Instead of cancelling...can you upgrade what they will be giving you? I would talk to your RH and explain the situation...i am sure they'd rather accommodate you than have you cancel...plus if you cancel...you will lose your deposit...good luck & here are some hugs...

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I agree with Katherine. You should talk to the RH and find out what they can do for you. Your loved ones will make the trip for you! It will be a wonderful day no matter how many people are going to be there! So, my advice would be to listen to your parents and your FH. Go thru with the reception. Your invites are already out. Did you get all of your responses back and you have a 42% YES rate? I would rather a small wedding than a large one. Here are some hugs since you are so upset...

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

I agree with the previous posters, with your wedding only about 6 weeks away, it is going to cost you just about as much to cancel the wedding as to pay for the minimum # and have the wedding anyway!

Some things may be negotiable at this point with other vendors, like your florist ... less people = less tables = less CPs. You may be able to revise your contract with them, but do it NOW over the next week or so -- don't wait, because once they place the orders for your flowers it may be too late.

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I agree with all the previous posters.
Cancelling at this point will cost you so much more.
Don't despair at having fewer people.
Enjoy the party with all of those that do attend. It makes it more special because all of those who say yes want to share and celebrate with you.
Think of it as a more intimate affair.

As far as the leftover meals - you can take home what is paid for but not eaten, or you can arrange to do a donation to a food bank, such as Island Harvest. North Ritz Club does that.

Please don't be depressed. It will all work out.

here's some hugs I'm sorry you're in this situation, sometimes people are just too darn lazy to travel! you are very thoughtful to not want your parents to spend money on people that are not coming, but honestly even if you don't have as many as you expected, it will stilll be a HUGE day because it's when you & FH become husband & wife......the celebration is about the two of you.....so I say go ahead with the reception, it's probably mostly paid for already anyway. I hope you feel better!

I would consider moving it to a smaller place...that way you can still have what you want and not sacrifice too much

maybe you can post it on craigslist?? i'm sorry everyone is bailing on you

I would have it also! Those people who matter the most will be there...im so sorry though!!

I hear you...

Many ppl who I invited in the MD world didn't come.

We just made our minimum...invited 240, 165 said yes... and had 10 ppl just not show up on the day of...most gave gifts...but hat's a lot of lost $$. Some had good excuses....others...not so much.

I'm sorry. BUT you are early enough to bargain with the hall (to get something for the people who you will be losing by not making a minimum) and to REALLY expand your B-list.

Otherwise, pick a smaller venue. Maybe swan club?

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Posted by Lemons

You are getting married on my bday First let me give you some hugs Second, If your FH wants the reception, then have the reception. This day is about you and him....no one else. If people cant make it, it s*cks for them. Don't let it ruin your day. Did you maybe have a B-list?

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Ditto (except for the birthday part)... don't let the numbers get you down... talk to your parents and tell them how you feel - I'm sure they'll make you feel better!
You're getting MARRIED! and that's what matters - not those who can't or won't come!
Chin up and think about what's going to happen in less than two months!