Time for LIW brides to be honest

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Posted by myasmom

Oct2004dride..

I have been offened way more times than you trust me.

I never try to offend anyone and if I did I am sorry.

With that said everyone enjoy your plannig.

I found what I needed here and I thank all of you.

I didnt say half the things that people seem to be insinuating.

Its amazing that its after I have been on here posting 950+ times that so many feel that I am a big ball of negativity and could not give me one minute of the benefit of the doubt.

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MYA~

I really don't think you should assume anything about me or how insulted i have felt here...
what you could have possible gotten from this thread is totally beyond me...
I think towards the end of this thread, and my posts included we definately now got the message...

And as i think of all the girls on here, comparing negativity...no you are not a negative person in my opinion BUT this thread is offense to me as a bride, as a person who spends money on my wedding, and as a poster!
Hey i am gonig to get over it...

There are so many things that go unwritten here and why should they. And since I am getting off this board here goes...

Thats like alot of people telling people something is beautiful when they know its not..that happens here sometimes.

When someone does not conform to what this board feels is the norm they get torched.

Everyone jumped on the bandwagon..does anyone notice that its the end where someone finally said its sad that people feel such and such..why is it only now that one or maybe two people are the only ones who touched on that.

I mean we all should be ashamed how this thread got out of hand.

I take my share of the blame but I'll hold my breath waiting for others to admit that they were wrong..No one is ever wrong..until they bring up something that everyone does not agree with..go on.. ..ready..set..GO>>>>....

Oh my gosh!!! Blah Blah Blah. That's all I hear now No offense

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Posted by jannshari

I know what you're saying about somehow feeling that your wedding will somehow be 'lesser' than some of the weddings where it is quite clear that more money was spent. Does that mean that you won't post a review when you get married? Is that the point of this? That people feel that they won't post because they think people won't care as much?

Because if so...that's what I said and thought it was about. If not...then I'm still confused.

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I'm wondering if the issue is not that people won't care as much but that the person posting doesn't want to appear as if she had a 'cheap' wedding. Maybe some people are thinking that if they don't get a lot of responses to their post, then no one found their wedding all that impressive. Someone mentioned in her response to this post that if she hates a girl's dress, she's not going to respond and say that; she just won't respond at all. So, maybe it's the same thing with wedding reviews?

Oct2004bride..
Thank you..
I didnt mean it literally..its more figuratively speaking...I definitely dont know how you feel.

But I am still glad I made this post. It did exactly what it was intended. And no further explaination needed..those who understood what I was trying to say..got what i was trying to convey...and those who didnt understand..I am sorry I cant have you share my opinion..its just that...opinion based on personal experiences...and others...nothing more or less..no insult or ill will ever intened.

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Posted by myasmom

I consider myself to have formed an online realtionship with many of you

With that said....
Is it me or has anyone else noticed that its the weddings that spent $$$$$ that get considered to be the best wedding ever but the ones that did not cost as much $$ or at lesser known places dont get the same raves.

This is not a personal attack or anything...just an observation, not only from myself but from other members who some of us havent even realized are not posting as frequently anymore...



I really htink that its time we all realize that its not the place, the flowers or anything like that that make a wedding beautiful. When u look at the pictures..are the guests smiling or is it just a pretty room...seriously...what do you think makes a wedding beautiful?

P>S I am not trying to start an argument or anything..just curious...I have gotten alot of FMS and just wanted to feel out some of my fellow brides & B2B's!

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I agree with you 100%. You could have a beautiful wedding for 10k and a beautiful wedding for 30k. To me, the most imporrtant part of the wedding is to have your loved ones watch you say your vows to the person you love. The reception is just a celebration. My wedding will be on an extremely tight budget. I'm trying to keep it between 8,000-10,000. I know it will be special. That people that I want there will be there. I would rather have 200 of my family and friends celebrate this special day with me than spend 30k for the day.

Jennie, that's what I don't get...who gives a flying f*ck whether someone else thinks my wedding was impressive? Just the same, I'm sure there will be plenty of wholly unimpressed people when I post my review. I don't care about the people who don't respond or don't care for my wedding and/or review. And neither should anyone else. Sometimes I have wonderful things to say about someone's wedding, but just don't feel like typing a damn thing. Doesn't have a bit to do with them. It's my laziness.

And Mya, I'm really sorry, but your second to last post seemed extraordinarily contradictory to me and it seems like you're really reiterating what all the people you think are attacking you are saying. I will continue to state my opinions on the current subject, but I really don't understand what you are trying to point out and don't think you have the responsibility of trying to explain yourself any further. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone.

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by EvenEdan

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Posted by cluelessbride

IMO, this thread was an attempt to:

-ask why do more expensive weddings get more posts

and then

-imply that those who do respond to the more $$$ weddings are forgetting what weddings are all about

Which I find ridiculous, because

a) I see no correlation between $$$$ weddings and the response they receive on the boards

and

b)we all know what weddings are about, but hey, can't we still appreciate a beautiful bo-k, a pretty haistyle, a creative invtiation?


Should we all hold hands, sing Kumbaya, and give out this gay icon every time someone posts about their wedding? Who can be bothered? Just like in real life, we make choices, we make friends, we have opinions, we move on.

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Bravo!!

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DITTO!

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I agree as well but clueless, you know I dubbed that hug Emote-icon as GAY and I want my credit where credit is due!!





Momentarily onto the subject, my issue with the original post was that it was not clear and a bit confusing exactly what myasmom was trying to say.


My two cents on the above outline:

I actually did not respond to Beth's review because there were enough reponses and she didn't need me to say the same thing that's been psted a million times. I do try to post to anyone's review who is using a vendor I have used - doesn't matter to me where they got married since practically no one (except clueless) is getting married where I got married. I also have my own protest going and won't post on reviews on BHB - it's a personal 'Monica' type thing and no one has to understand or agree.

Everyone is entitled to thier own opinion so let me speell it out for those who were unsure.


The post was initially intended to do the following..

In a nice way let our board know that some people did not post pics or share reviews because they did feel that having a less $$ wedding did not get as many reviews or would not be accepted...why bother.

It was also to say that the budget or flowers or whatever other detail is not what makes the wedding important.

Next point was that it was not to attack those who were more forunate to afford lavish weddings..

But somehow this whole thing got blown out of proportion instead of inciting empathy for those who based on some of our actions were not 100% comfortable with what the board stood for.. So now that I summed it up...does that anwer? clarify? any misconceptions anyone had...

And I do wish people would stop talking for me..there is only one of me to go around and I can speak English and spanish quite well..not my fault if whe I type all my htoughts ar enot conveyed but alot of people answered correctly so some understtod.

I need to lose weight, I'm broke, my family is crazy, but I will still have the best wedding ever - To me that is! Because I'm marrying my best friend and that's all that matters!

But I can still look at someone else's pictures and read their review, or go to their wedding, and think 'wow, this is just gorgeous!' because it is, to me. I can love their day and admire their style, their creativity, and it doesn't take away from how I feel about my wedding.

Would I trade my day-to-be for theirs? Never, because all the planning, the choices, the sacrafices that go into my day are what MAKE it my day. And if people don't like my wedding, it's ok, I don't expect everyone to. Like I said, I'm broke and chubby with a crazy family - what do you expect!

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Posted by wc0143

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by EvenEdan

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Posted by cluelessbride

IMO, this thread was an attempt to:

-ask why do more expensive weddings get more posts

and then

-imply that those who do respond to the more $$$ weddings are forgetting what weddings are all about

Which I find ridiculous, because

a) I see no correlation between $$$$ weddings and the response they receive on the boards

and

b)we all know what weddings are about, but hey, can't we still appreciate a beautiful bo-k, a pretty haistyle, a creative invtiation?


Should we all hold hands, sing Kumbaya, and give out this gay icon every time someone posts about their wedding? Who can be bothered? Just like in real life, we make choices, we make friends, we have opinions, we move on.

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Bravo!!

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DITTO!

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I agree as well but clueless, you know I dubbed that hug Emote-icon as GAY and I want my credit where credit is due!!





Momentarily onto the subject, my issue with the original post was that it was not clear and a bit confusing exactly what myasmom was trying to say.


My two cents on the above outline:

I actually did not respond to Beth's review because there were enough reponses and she didn't need me to say the say thing that's been psted a million times. I do try to post to anyone's review who is using a vendor I have used - doesn't matter to me where they got married since practically no one (except clueless) is getting married where I got married. I also have my own protest going and won't post on reviews on BHB - it's a personal 'Monica' type thing and no one has to understand or agree.

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Wendy it's totally gay!

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Posted by myasmom

Everyone is entitled to thier own opinion so let me speell it out for those who were unsure.


The post was initially intended to do the following..

In a nice way let our board know that some people did not post pics or share reviews because they did feel that having a less $$ wedding did not get as many reviews or would not be accepted...why bother.


..

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I think the part about people not posting b/c they felt their less $$$ wedding would not be accepted - it came out like we were being scolded. I think you had good intentions, but really, at least to me, it sounded like you wanted to teach some of us a lesson in what makes a wedding beautiful. We know what makes a wedding beautiful. If people feel insecure about posting their reviews, there is really nothing anyone here can do for them.

Mya, can I ask why you felt that you needed to post this? (I don't mean that to be as snotty as it might sound.) What I'm asking is whether someone else said something to you and you felt that you needed to bring it up to bring it to others' attention, and if so, why did you feel the need to do it? It seems that your post was intended to make the people who had expensive weddings feel bad for having them and the people who respond to them feel bad. I think, frankly, that those who have more expensive weddings are fewer and farther between than those who have 'average' or inexpensive weddings.

You were not one of the people who didn't post a review, so I think some people (or maybe just me) were confused as to why you were bringing this up and what the purpose was. I still think your purported reason for starting this is the very thing that those you feel disagreed with you said this was about.

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Posted by myasmom

FLaCaTaCa:

In the planning phase I went through that and after the wedding there was a twinge of 'was it truely as great as they said...especially when compared to Beth (who i do think had an amazing wedding..but never once put down anyone elses) but no one can ever make me doubt my wedding was beautiful NOW.
I spent 15K for 130 guests which is darn good And 122 of my guest stayed till the last song was played lol so how can I doubt that it was a success even with the DJ hiccup

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Props to you for having a wonderful wedding on a budget! When it comes time for me...I will be sure to look you up!! On another note, I'v been to many weddings that were truly very expensive, it was obvious, but I sat at my table the whole night!! It does not really matter how much you spend! Its important that without all the glitz and glitter, when it comes down to it you are marrying the man of your dreams!!

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Posted by laudipop

I am also clueless like Jessica Simpson. I don't think anyone here has been especially nasty or negative. I don't understand why the thread should be ended. And I have no idea what the thread was supposed to be about to begin with, nor do I know what it's supposed to be about now!

But I'm glad I'm not the only one.

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My long lost twin!! I never knew I had a sister. LMAO

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Posted by jannshari

Mya, can I ask why you felt that you needed to post this? (I don't mean that to be as snotty as it might sound.) What I'm asking is whether someone else said something to you and you felt that you needed to bring it up to bring it to others' attention, and if so, why did you feel the need to do it? It seems that your post was intended to make the people who had expensive weddings feel bad for having them and the people who respond to them feel bad. I think, frankly, that those who have more expensive weddings are fewer and farther between than those who have 'average' or inexpensive weddings.

You were not one of the people who didn't post a review, so I think some people (or maybe just me) were confused as to why you were bringing this up and what the purpose was. I still think your purported reason for starting this is the very thing that those you feel disagreed with you said this was about.

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Jann...i couldn't have said it any better!

All right: here it comes: I'm fessing up:

When my big brother had his 'house wedding' I was very moved by the fact that I got to be flower girl ( I was 10 )

When my older cousin got married, (I was a bridesmaid), it was a GALA EVENT. I was only 15, but that was what REALLY made me develop an idea of how I wanted MY wedding to be...

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Posted by jannshari

Mya, can I ask why you felt that you needed to post this? (I don't mean that to be as snotty as it might sound.) What I'm asking is whether someone else said something to you and you felt that you needed to bring it up to bring it to others' attention, and if so, why did you feel the need to do it? It seems that your post was intended to make the people who had expensive weddings feel bad for having them and the people who respond to them feel bad. I think, frankly, that those who have more expensive weddings are fewer and farther between than those who have 'average' or inexpensive weddings.

You were not one of the people who didn't post a review, so I think some people (or maybe just me) were confused as to why you were bringing this up and what the purpose was. I still think your purported reason for starting this is the very thing that those you feel disagreed with you said this was about.

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I was gonna write almost the same thing (except I don't agree about myasmom wanting to make the richie rich's feel bad) - I just don't get why she felt the need to alert us what apparently people are FMing her about feeling bad and thus not posting their reviews (which I also don't get cause how do you know you won't 'get as many (as whoever)' if you don't post???.

I will tell you that I speak to alot of brides past & present and the topic came up more than once... by people I never expected it from....
Since we talk about almost everything here I bought it up..not expecting this response. But rather as awareness..I never was scolding..negativity is not something I do in my everyday llife with people I actually 'know' so why do it'online'.

Alot of people assume that this site is enjoyable for the majority..which is is..but like reality..there are those who dont walk away with such a positive view and still are here trying to find the 'good' lol I did not enjoy this thread at all..just hoped to get information so that others would feel encourgaged and not intimidated. Which is proably what happended now.