What did your FH actually do in the wedding planning process?

For the longest time, I considered FH a deadbeat Fiance because I felt he didn't really do anything. He was shocked because he felt like he was very emotionally supportive and gave lots (his definition of lots) of input.

My FH did the following:

Ceremony Musicians
Tuxes

I think that is it.

He takes credit for the following but it was basically me doing all the research and him booking at the end:

Guestbook
Unity Candle
DJ

I think that's it!

My FH thinks his job is to get his tux and show up! I gave him his list of to dos. My very first honey do list.

I email my FH a to do list everyday. I already feel like a wife. hahaha

We are buying a house concurrently with wedding planning. He did do most everything with the home buying. I should give him a little credit.

He said he did more than any other fiance he knows.

My FH is responsible for the the tuxes and the honeymoon.

However, I chose the tuxedo store and made the appointment......and I'm helping him out with the honeymoon by researching on here for reviews and stuff.

My DH was a little groomzillaish. He came to every vendor appointment, meeting, etc. and corresponded with most of our vendors throughout the process. He also helped with all of our DIY projects, blocking rooms at the OOT hotel, booked transportation, etc. The only thing he really wasn't involved in was anything to do with my dress/veil/jewelry. Well, except for my undergarments. At a low point, meltdown moment, I had my poor DH calling stores to see if they carried the kind of bra I needed.

Yes, ladies.... I married a saint!

My FH says, 'How much does it cost?' a lot.

Then he goes

Then I

That's his definition of lots of input.

I think FH and I did a pretty good job of capitalizing on our strengths and weaknesses during wedding planning. I'm indecisive but I do a lot of research...he doesn't have time to do research but makes really good decisions. So I present him with the options we have for vendors that I like, he comes to the meetings with them, and then he makes the final decision on every vendor. I think it's worked out so far..

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Posted by KickinDandelions

I think FH and I did a pretty good job of capitalizing on our strengths and weaknesses during wedding planning. I'm indecisive but I do a lot of research...he doesn't have time to do research but makes really good decisions. So I present him with the options we have for vendors that I like, he comes to the meetings with them, and then he makes the final decision on every vendor. I think it's worked out so far..

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I'm normally a very decisive person but not when it comes to wedding planning.

FH is overly decisive so he did make the final decision on most everything. ONLY after I spent tons of time researching and meeting with vendors first.

My FH has come to every vendor meeting and helps me make final decisions (I too am having problems making a final decision when it comes to wedding stuff!).

I do all the research and make the lists of things. But he's been involved the entire time.

FI Did:
Tuxes
Honeymoon
Limos
DIY 'We do'' letters
And of course we did a lot of things together!

want me to answer this?

okay, okay, so I know I'm one of the exceptions to this... also know this is a vent thread, so vent away. i will say a couple of things in my fellow groom's defense.

1) This is really easy for me to help with b/c I work at home and mostly make my own hours. FW is a teacher and simply isn't in front of a computer or phone during working hours. For those of you working really difficult office jobs where you can't work on this during your work day, my hat is off to you.

2) Mostly, we don't have a vision. or it's a vision that doesn't fit with the traditional ideas of what a 'wedding should be' (this is why I encourage the creativity of folks like my sister GettinHutched).

For example, one of the van companies FW called said they have buses, including cheese buses. Since our wedding is 9/2, she's a teacher, and I'm hopefully starting grad school for my ed masters in the fall, I thought it would be funny as hell to rent a chese bus and load it up with all sorts of silly kid things. FW has a great sense of humor, but wasn't so into this.

Really, we know we want there to be good food, booze, and music. The rest of it, no clue. There aren't too many guys who know how many proofs or 8X10s they want, or whether the centerpieces should be high or low, and what not. We typically defer to your judgement on most things visual.

OTOH, there's a definite percentage of the bride side of the ledger that DO have strong ideas of what they want to see and have at their wedding. So sometimes, our default definition of supportive is to go along with what you want.

Just a groom's two cents.

FH:
came with me to book the church
came with me twice to book the hall
took engagement pictures with me ( lol of course)
came with me to book limos
called to leave a deposit for the HM ( after I had already gone and met with the TA myself)
Still waiting for him to get his passport
and he will be in charge of tuxes and GM gifts.

So, it isn't much but I don't mind - as long as you are okay with it. . . he could just show up

FH picked the date, the honeymoon and the invitations. He has input in all ideas and decisions. I think he does pretty well

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Posted by shopaholic07

My FH is responsible for the the tuxes and the honeymoon.

However, I chose the tuxedo store and made the appointment......and I'm helping him out with the honeymoon by researching on here for reviews and stuff.

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Same here- I originally gave him limos and DJ too, needless to say- none of the above have been booked yet. He couldn't care less and thinks he is doing me a favor by 'letting me do whatever I want.' It would be nice to have some input and less grumbling when I ask him to accompany me to an appointment.

my fh is only in charge of

tuxes
limos

other then that he wipes his hands clean!

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Posted by stealthgroom

(this is why I encourage the creativity of folks like my sister GettinHutched).

.

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GettinHutched is your sister?!?! I didn't know that

ummmm....

Ok, that's not really fair to him. We went together to check out the venues, and we went together to the menu tasting. We also went together to look at rings, although we STILL haven't bought them (don't get me started.) I did pretty much all the research about DJs, but I had him call and make an appointment, and then we went together and booked Ralph from High Energy. He might think that he found the DJ, but I did all the research. He did find the rabbi, and we went togther to meet with him. I guess the one thing he did entirely by himself was find the rabbi. And then there's the honeymoon--he suggested St Lucia in the first place (he has an online friend who lives there), we both did research on where to stay, we decided together on the final choice, and then he did the actual booking with the travel agent (whom I found.)

What he doesn't know is I ordered 100 pieces of vellum that he's going to be making into petal cones. I was talking to him about how I couldn't seem to make a good cone, and he picked up a piece of 8.5'x11' paper and twisted it and viola! a perfect cone! So he's making them into cones, I'll punch the holes and tie the ribbons. And he's most likely going to help me make the huppah, as we're going with the portable kind carried up the aisle by our siblings and held up by four poles.

So, in the end, the thing is, he's just not as into the small details of the wedding as I am. He doesn't care if we have petals tossed at us, he would have been perfectly happy with the gas-station level bouquets that the hall provides as centerpieces--basically, he would be happy with the wedding as provided in our package. I, however, am not! And I know when it's all said and done that he will thank me for throwing such an amazing wedding.

Let me put it this way the only thing that FH didn't do, was pick out My Dress, MOH, BMs and FG dresses.... We did everything together for our Wedding, meeting with the Pastor to booking the HM and everything else in between...