Your FH cheated on you once with his ex girlfriend a year and a half before you got engaged, would you still marry him? One of my bms who is getting married 3 months before me just found out that this happened to her and is really distraught...Honestly, although it would be really hard, I think i'd stay with him...he seems genuinely sorry for what he did...and it was a one time thing....but then again, it's really hard to get over something like that...what would you girls do?
hmm thats tough...bc honestly i think i would have to actually be in that position to really know how id react
Posted by kslmbuggie
it is a very tough decision, i honestly dont know what i would do, because u will always think that he will do it again.
did he tell her, or did someone else?
no. i've been in this situation. the answer is no.
He cheated on me, then absolutely not! He's been deceitful for this long? Who knows what else he's done?
ive cheated and been sorry for it and that once a cheater always a cheater isnt a guideline for everyone !!!! i would prob forgive but never forget ya know
Posted by ILoveHim
he told her, but he told her 2 years after it happened! And you could almost say he did it because his back was against the wall (but I wouldn't exactly say that because it didn't necessarily have to come out)...but the thing is, it only happened once, and he is definitely heartbroken and remorseful about it...he swears that's something he would never do again and that it's not worth losing the person you love...and I truly believe him...and she does too (to a certain extent, ofcourse)
Posted by kslmbuggie
i dont know if i would take him back because he was so deceitful. i think it is terrible for him 2 tell her so close 2 the wedding know that they are so financially invested at this point. I dont know if he told her to clear his conscience, but all in all it is just extremely selfish of him....if i was her i would almost wish he never told me.
Posted by ILoveHim
he told her, but he told her 2 years after it happened! And you could almost say he did it because his back was against the wall (but I wouldn't exactly say that because it didn't necessarily have to come out)...but the thing is, it only happened once, and he is definitely heartbroken and remorseful about it...he swears that's something he would never do again and that it's not worth losing the person you love...and I truly believe him...and she does too (to a certain extent, ofcourse)
Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
ive cheated and been sorry for it and that once a cheater always a cheater isnt a guideline for everyone !!!! i would prob forgive but never forget ya know
Posted by beachbum05
I think its so much easier for me to say that I wouldn't stay with him, but I really have no idea what I'd do unless I was in the sitaution.
I don't know what to say about this one b/c he should've told her when it happened.
Posted by ILoveHim
Okay i'm going to play devil's advocate here,
what if you're like 45 years old and you've never been married...and you honestly never thought you would be, and then you meet this guy and you had problems the first year of your relationship but for all of the years after that, he's treated you like a queen....
and then you find out he cheated on you during the time that you guys were having problems...would you still not forgive him?
Knowing that he's truly sorry and that you will probably missing out on a really good marriage with him...and that there's a strong possibility you'll end up never getting married at all....
I want honest opinions! I've never experienced this, but this is a really tough situation to be in...i'm so sorry for her..
Posted by bemyyoko
Posted by ILoveHim
Okay i'm going to play devil's advocate here,
what if you're like 45 years old and you've never been married...and you honestly never thought you would be, and then you meet this guy and you had problems the first year of your relationship but for all of the years after that, he's treated you like a queen....
and then you find out he cheated on you during the time that you guys were having problems...would you still not forgive him?
Knowing that he's truly sorry and that you will probably missing out on a really good marriage with him...and that there's a strong possibility you'll end up never getting married at all....
I want honest opinions! I've never experienced this, but this is a really tough situation to be in...i'm so sorry for her..
No. the answer would still be no. I don't think the fact that woman is 45 should play into whether or not she should get married. I don't care how old you are, there are men out there that will not cheat on you, and who will not lie to you.
From my point of view, the cheating isn't the worst part of the situation, the not telling her for years is.
I don't think the 'once a cheater always a cheater' line is true. I've cheated on people, but i've never cheated on FH and I never will. But liars... that's a whole seperate breed of people. I'd never be able to get over that part. I'd always be wondering what else he lied about.
My FH kissed his ex gf about 3 years ago. I found out he lied to me about where he went and had to pry it out of him, because I already knew he had lied. he still swears to this day that it was nothing more than a kiss and I believe him (he's an awful liar so its easy to tell). I know with 100% certainty it never happened again and that he has not cheated on me since that because i know where he is and with whom at all times. he calls me b4 work, on a lunch break, after work when he's working off the job site, on the way home and then he arrives promtly at home and spends his time with me or he hangs out with our housemate. If I had let him go because of what he did and the fact that I had to pry it out of him...It would have been an awful mistake. He is the love of my life...and while maybe at that time he wasn't 100% ready to commit and wastesting to see if there was any spark left with his ex...He is now more excited than he ever has been about anything to marry me. So while I tore him a new arsehole and still to this day have not forgotten it...I'm glad that I allowed myself to work it out and move on. I'm the happiest I've ever been and madly in love.
i picked yes...but it depends....how long have they been together?? how long were they together at the time? i dont belive the whole ' once a cheater always a cheater' thing because i have cheated before and i have never done it since and that was a long time ago!
they've been together for a little over 3 years...and he cheated a year into their relationship...
