WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... Explanation on page 2!

I don't know what to say I feel so bad for you Go with your gut instincts.

Oh Violet. I am so sorry.

Was your dad going to walk u down the aisle before this happened? I don't blame you for not wanting him to walk you anymore...Have you spoken to him yet?

I am so sorry to hear about this. I can't even imagine how you feel. That is why I have no idea what happened at DH bach. party. I don't want to know. I know crazy things can happen and I would rather be kept in the dark. Bottom line is, you love him and he loves you. From my point of view, yes, I would be pissed but, I would still have married him. He is my soul mate and I wouldn't let one night that is supposed to be a little out of hand hold me back. Don't get me wrong, if I found out he had sex (actual, oral or otherwise) I would still be a single woman right now and he would be without penis. lol

We are with you!

I'm so sorry If I were in that situation I would be very angry, hurt, sad, dissapointed. I honestly don't know what I would do.

OMG .. I just do not know what to say. I feel SO sad for you, Violetfairy .. I really really do. TO some extent I consider most of it cheating, those the parts where your FH is doing things to her is the worst, as the other girls have noted.

I do agree that the part that would definitely be upsetting me the most is that your father encouraged it. Wow, that's rough.

Believe me I'm not one of those sitting here saying 'oh NO, NEVER, NO NOT MY GUY '... while its not in my FH' s nature either, and I know that EVERYONE says that, yet these things seem to happen time and time again.

When my brother got married a bunch of years ago, he had a VERY similar bachelor party ... I'm not sure how much detail it got into , but I saw some pics and let me tell you . it was hard core and rough . Mind you, my brother is THE MOST MILD MANNERED person you'd ever want to meet, and a total sweetheart. But my SIL was LIVID when she heard about it. Thankfully she had over a month to 'get over it ..' And they are truly happily married with nothing to worry about

My point being, I KNOW I'd be practically devastated if this happened to me. But I also know that I probably would still marry my FH .. it would be tough to get over, though ..

We're here for you! Keep talking it out, trust me you'll feel better

Yikes!

Was your dad trashed or just inappropriate normally?

I would be so pissed. I told my fi that he can do nothing to endanger me. That includes ANY skin to skin contact. So, I owuld say he broke the rules!

And what's the deal with oral sex?! I would report her to the cops. That's prostitution.

From what I understand (from my guy friends), there is a LOT of pressure at bachelor parties - there's a huge group of guys, all drinking, cheering the bachelor and even other guys (married guys) on to do things that they do not want to do. And it happens all the time.

That's totally NOT an excuse at ALL, but just something to think about. If your FH truly feels badly about it (only you would know) then maybe you could come to an understanding about how he is NOT allowed to go to bachelor parties in the future!

As for your Dad...it's just despicable that he would allow his daughter to be treated that way, but hey, you aren't going to change this man now.

I don't really know what to say or offer you advice on what to do- I just wanted to give you lots of



If you need anything FM me....


Jess

OMG Violet, I'm so sorry! I would be so upset. I don't know what I can tell you that will help you to get over this by this weekend. I understand you being furious with your father - I don't know how anyone could do that to his daughter. I think you have every right not to want him to walk you down the aisle or dance with him, but also try to think about how you will feel about that years from now when you look back at your wedding and the pain has subsided. :

OMG Violet, I'm so sorry! I would be so upset. I don't know what I can tell you that will help you to get over this by this weekend. I understand you being furious with your father - I don't know how anyone could do that to his daughter. I think you have every right not to want him to walk you down the aisle or dance with him, but also try to think about how you will feel about that years from now when you look back at your wedding and the pain has subsided. :

I know that fh feels bad. Right now that isn't making me feel any better. I still know that he had a whore's boob in his mouth 2 days ago and lied to me about it. No matter what kind of pressure he was under (and I know that's true), it still doesn't excuse it for me. No one had a knife to his throat.

My dad: not trashed. Just a goddamn moron. At times wonderful and loving, at other times has the poorest judgment imaginable.

I am a little worried about this too. I know that there will be a stripper so fine. And my fi is not the stripper drink too much type either. I hope he would never do anything inappropriate. I also know that somethings will happen at a bachelor party so fine again. But as some of girls on here said the act of him doing stuff would also bother me.
I understand your anger and agree with it but I think the only thing to do know is talk to him. Why did he do it? Was it really pressure? The it's time to talk to your dad and ask him what the he!! was going through his mind!
Hope you feel better soon. Oh and also I don't consider these things really cheating persay they are of course completely disrespectful. If you father or fi doesn't egt it then tell them your having another bachelorette party where you will be spraying whipped cream all over a hot strippers body and licking it ALL off.

-Touching her breasts

-Letting stripper lick whipped cream off his body

-Licking whipped cream off the stripper's nipples

-Letting her dry-hump him while he lies on the floor



These are the ones that bother me. I would still marry him, no doubt about that. I could never picture my dad getting involved like that but I am sure there was drinking involved and it makes people do really dumb things. Maybe I am too lenient, but I would try to just tell myself over and over that it was a bachelor party and he wont ever be in that position again.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

'your having another bachelorette party where you will be spraying whipped cream all over a hot strippers body and licking it ALL off.'



Believe me, the temptation for revenge is there. I keep reminding myself I'm above that.

that is just awful but you only get ONE wedding day and it's not fair that they ruin it for you - realistically you are still going to get married, right? or are you seriously considering not?

I would be devastated as well - I'm the kind of person that would just keep thinking about it over and over again in my head. but then I'd remember my wedding day and honeymoon as being a bad day and that would hurt me more

I am getting married on Saturday too, the weather is supposed to be great, and we deserve to be happy and enjoy it (I know, easier said than done)

This is a very good topic, and is something that each of us should consider.

You (everyone) & FH should definitely discuss this with them before the BP. Everyone should set ground rules.

One thing that we've learbed today is that if you hire a stripper to come to one's house... they're borderline hookers! So if you're allowing a BP, I think the best bet is to let them have it at a strip club (where there are bouncers that do NOT allow men touch strippers, other than to tip).

This whole situation SUCKS but @ least your f/h told you about it.

I would be totally pi$$ed but I would still go ahead with the wedding after a lengthy discussion.

I went to this wild party last summer where they had a male stripper for this guy ( he's gay & it was his b-day) and a female stripper for this other guy( he's straight & it was his b-day).

Anyway, both thier significant others were
THERE as was 300 + people and those strippers did some raunchy stuff in fron of everyone!!!

My friend the one who got AMBUSHED by the female stripper still can not live it down. He was bullied into some strange stuff in front of everyone.

As far as you dad-------maybe he crossed the line - but he is till yuor dad- give him some HELL!!!!!
good luck

So sorry that this has happened. Sounds like FH does regret this happening - it's a shame that it did - but like you said he was not one for doing it and honestly peer pressure for guys can be their downfall. Not that it's excusable but I think we all know that it happens. If FH has apologized to you and has honestly regretted this then I think you can move on with him. Dad on the other hands needs a big talking to. Problem is that as your father he has completely disappointed you. Forgiveable - yes but I think you need to sit him down and let him know exactly how disappointed and hurt you are. Also - my advice make sure to shut him up. He needs to understand that this was not acceptable behavior from FH or him and that the topic is never to be discussed again outside your current conversation. I say this only because if he's going around talking about it he obviously finds some humor in it. Well, every time he brings it up it'll break your heart and make things worse. Tell him to stop and tell him how you feel.

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Posted by nov.bride

He was bullied into some strange stuff in front of everyone.

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Like what?