WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... Explanation on page 2!

Original post by violetfairy

Jun 08, 2004 02:41 AM

So let's say your fi had a bachelor party in a private home with a stripper. Which of the following things would you consider crossing the line into cheating territory (if any)?:

-Letting the stripper strip him down to him underwear

-Letting the stripper pull down his underwear

-Getting down on all fours so the stripper can whip him

-Whipping the stripper

-Touching her breasts

-Letting stripper lick whipped cream off his body

-Licking whipped cream off the stripper's nipples

-Letting her dry-hump him while he lies on the floor

-Letting her put a dildo over his crotch and pretend to give him a blow job

AND NOW THE BIG QUESTION:

Would you still marry him if you found out he had done all of the above?

chichila15 Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:24 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

Posted by pinkgirl

I would say that

-Letting stripper lick whipped cream off his body (only if it is his private parts)

-Licking whipped cream off the stripper's nipples

would be cheating. It is normal for a stipper to do all that stuff to a guy-like stripping him down. But if he does something TO the stripper then that is cheating. Or if the stripper does ANYTHING to his private parts.

IMO, I agree with pinkgirl. If the FH engages in something, and DOES out of free will, then it's 'cheating'... however, it could very likely be because of the 'groove' of the bachelor party. Some guys don't like to look like a wuss in front of his friends... though, you might think that if he truly loved you, he'd keep away.

If alllll of these things bother you, then I would suggest that the FW talk to the FH before the bachelor parties, to set some ground rules. You can't honestly think that he's going to be in a corner hugging a picture of FW, while there's a practically naked woman parading around.

Also, reverse the role. Bachelorette parties... I've seen ladies grab the strippers there, out of 'fun' and to make their friends laugh. Anyway, would you consider yourself cheating if you did anything, or all the things, on that list?

bridzilla Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:25 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

Posted by bridzilla

I say all of the above. We've had a discussion about strippers. I wouldn't even want one at mine, so I clearly don't want one at his.
But for those guys that do, anything more than just looking at the stripper is WRONG!

ETA: As far as still marrying him, I can't answer for sure. Since the FH and I have already discussed my oppostion of strippers, him getting one would be very disrespectful to me. I don't know if I'd trust him afterwards. It would take A LOT of effort on his part to fix things.

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:25 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

Posted by bridzilla

But for those guys that do, anything more than just looking at the stripper is WRONG!

Love it!

tourist Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:26 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

i don't know if i would consider it cheating but all of it is unexeptable! also , it is all very much not my FH, so I would be made that he wasn't true to himself & jsut went along with the peer pressure.

I don't know if I'd still mary him. I'd want to, but I'd still be mad.

violetfairy Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:27 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

OK, now I'll explain.

Yep, my fh did all of the above. And I have four days to 'get over it.'

My idiot cousin held the party, and my idiot father is the one who sprayed whipped cream on this hooker's t*its so my fh could suck it off.

Yes, MY FATHER.

And now I have various problems...

I do NOT want my father to walk me down the aisle, nor do I want to dance with him.

I can't imagine how I'm going to smile and fake it and pretend like I'm over this when I walk down the aisle in four days.

Fh told me most of what went on right afterwards, and told me he was pressured and humiliated into it and I actually felt BAD for him!

The following day is when my dad started bragging about getting fh to lick this whore's nipples.

Cousin got a blow job in the bathroom afterwards, by the way.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

And ladies, for all those who think, 'No way, not my man!' let me just tell you that's exactly what I thought.

My man is NOT into strippers or even drinking and the whole bar scene. He did not want a stripper... *I* was the one who coordinated with my cousin on this and okayed it. I just ASSUMED everyone knew I was fine with looking, but not with touching (OR LICKING!). I'm sick to my stomach and so pissed that fh was so spineless that he couldn't tell these guys that things were going too far.

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:27 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

Posted by chichila15

Anyway, would you consider yourself cheating if you did anything, or all the things, on that list?

I wouldn't do any of those things on that list.

Stacey04 Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:28 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

I agree, any touching on either part, I mean the stripper and FH, not privates, , would be cheating...

Where are the few guys that are on here? I want to hear their opinion..

ETA: Just read your problems...was your dad walking you down the aisle before all this?

I can't believe your father even went to the BP!!! And I'm kind of at a loss for words about that!

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:29 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

Posted by violetfairy

OK, now I'll explain.

Yep, my fh did all of the above. And I have four days to 'get over it.'

I'm sorry. I wish you had some more time to sort things out. I feel sad for you. Keep talking to us...We'll help you figure this out.

capgrl26 Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:30 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

My FH's cousin (who will be a groomsmen) has a stripper for a girlfriend...he's brought two different ones to visit to my house so far...

I went nuts when the first one visited becasue at that time, we only had a one bedroom, I was leaving for work and she was butt naked on the pull-out couch!! Can you say disgusting!

I was so furious because I knew FH was going to wake up and see THAT!

This totally scares me...his friends are totally low class and I can only imagine if they date strippers...what they are going to do to him!

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:30 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

By the way violet...It doesn't have to be considered 'CHEATING' to be hurting you...The bottom line is: you're HURT...Calling it what you will does not change that fact.

JimmysBride Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:30 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

Ouch!! Most of those are REALLY BAD but forgiveable and understandable -- the whole stripper mess invites this kind of behavior and most of it is just for show but the ones I consider cheating are:

--Touching her breasts

--Licking whipped cream off the stripper's nipples

Why these? Because these involve HIM doing something to HER and he could have (probably) avoided doing these two things. The touching of the breast thing is debatable because she may have just grabbed his hands and put them there which is slightly less horrible.

As for the big question:

Yes, I would probably still marry him but there would be HELL TO PAY.

MrsTC Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:33 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... Explanation on page 2!

Wait a minute - why does it say your wedding date as 6/1/04?

eroxgirl Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:34 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... responses appreciated

-Letting the stripper pull down his underwear

-Touching her breasts

-Letting stripper lick whipped cream off his body

-Licking whipped cream off the stripper's nipples

I feelt hat the four I have listed above are crossing the line, the rest of it I expect to happen at a bachelor party, more or less. I would probably still marry him, although he'd get his a$$ kicked first.

violetfairy Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:37 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... Explanation on page 2!

Because I have a stalker and was not giving out any of my exact info before. But I'm too goddamn furious to keep quiet about it now.

And yes, my father was supposed to walk me down the aisle before... now I'm sick just thinking about it. This is the man who's supposed to protect me and he's bragging about getting my fh to suck another woman's nipples days before our wedding?? I want to kill him.

BlondeJD Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:41 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... Explanation on page 2!

Posted by violetfairy

Because I have a stalker and was not giving out any of my exact info before. But I'm too goddamn furious to keep quiet about it now.

And yes, my father was supposed to walk me down the aisle before... now I'm sick just thinking about it. This is the man who's supposed to protect me and he's bragging about getting my fh to suck another woman's nipples days before our wedding?? I want to kill him.

You poor thing I can't believe your father would encourage his future son in law to disrespect you so much. There are so many things wrong with what happened at that bachelor party, but the main issue is trust. How can you ever trust your FH again if you know that he can be goaded into doing such awful things? I agree with you--your father should not be walking you down the aisle. To do so would be a joke. You're right, he should be there to protect you and instead, he's the one egging the whole thing on. What did your mother say about it?

violetfairy Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:41 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... Explanation on page 2!

Thank you, BMD. I'm too embarrassed to talk to anyone about this-- this is the only place I felt I could vent and people might understand!

kpny622 Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:41 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... Explanation on page 2!

I think I am more shocked by your father than I am by your FH. That is inexcusable. I'd be so mad that it would ruin my wedding day for me. I am so sorry. In my opinion, having strippers at a bachelor party is totally fine - look at them, let them do a dance, whatever. But once you involve any bodily contact - well, I'd still marry my FH but he'd be paying for it for a LONG time!

chichila15 Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:42 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... Explanation on page 2!

Posted by violetfairy

Because I have a stalker and was not giving out any of my exact info before. But I'm too goddamn furious to keep quiet about it now.

And yes, my father was supposed to walk me down the aisle before... now I'm sick just thinking about it. This is the man who's supposed to protect me and he's bragging about getting my fh to suck another woman's nipples days before our wedding?? I want to kill him.

I think that you should talk to your dad about this. I can imagine how mad & disappointed you are in him.

tourist Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:43 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... Explanation on page 2!

Posted by violetfairy

OK, now I'll explain.

Yep, my fh did all of the above. And I have four days to 'get over it.'

I had a feeling that was coming. I'm sorry --that's awful.

Posted by violetfairy

I'm sick to my stomach and so pissed that fh was so spineless that he couldn't tell these guys that things were going too far.

That's what owuld bother me. My Fh is not the stripper touching type, but he can be the spinless type, which could lead to stripper touching.

Have you told your father how upset you are?
Hoenselty, I think just getting all the offending parties together & speaking my mind (very loudly) would help me a little.

Then telling FH exactly what his offenses were- that his actions were unacceptable, and that not standing up for himself was unnaceptable,
adn ask him what he would do if the situationwas reversed.
And then ask him why you shoudl still marry him. Ask him waht he codl possibly do that would make you less disgusted by this.

Thinking about it that way, will hopefully make him realize how bad this is, and how he was too blame as well as the other guys.

I would also make him stand up to the cousin & your dad.

You can't undo what has been done, but I think if I could get peopel to realize this isn't somethign to easily 'get over' then it would be easier to proceed with the wedding, but I would also walk down alone & not dance with my father.

violetfairy Posted: Jun 08, 2004 09:43 AM

Re: WHAT IS CHEATING? Bachelor party question for all! EDITED... Explanation on page 2!

'What did your mother say about it?'

That it was all just fine and fun and I should get over it. Keep in mind, of course, that she married the idiot with the whipped cream.