This isn't a concern about my own shower, but I am a bridesmaid in another wedding (1 month before my wedding) and I know her MOH (her sister) is going to ask us to pay for the shower. Mine is being paid for by my FMIL and I've never been part of a wedding where the bridesmaids pay for the shower. Is this a reasonable bridesmaid responsibility?
SweetCin704
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
I kinda feel bad b/c my MOH & girls are paying for my shower (this is my 2nd wedding & my mom paid for ALL of my first shower for my first wedding). To be honest I didn't even want/expect a shower but FH is an only child & she said 'of course' I should have a shower....
reenielady
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
It is one of the duties and bridesmaid to help pay for the shower. If the MOB or FMIL help that is great but it isn't their responsibility
SOrry
Blu-ize
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
My parents paid for most of mine. I didn't want the bridal party paying for all of it.
bostoninLI
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
Do I have any right to 'just say no', in the nicest way possible? Or make suggestions for a less expensive way to have a shower? It's just with my wedding right after hers (I was engaged first =) ) and all the spending I'm already doing, for my wedding and hers, I feel like it's a lot to ask. I don't want to be the B!tchy bridesmaid of the bunch...
Blu-ize
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
I think you need to mention that all the money spent is going to tap you out. Ask them if there is a way to cut back a bit. Make good useful suggestions.
reenielady
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
I would definately give suggestions on ways to cut back. A shower doesn't need to be a big fancy formal affair. It should be fun.
jportjeff
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
both my mom and fmil paid for there own showers.
However, I was a BM in my friends wedding and her mom paid for her shower, but her fmil said we needed to pay for her shower. We grew up with her family, but hardly knew his family.
Anywyay, Get this.. I'm sure this is more info then you wanted!
She tells us to use 60 as a head count, so we did 50 to be conservative, booked a place using 45-50 as a minimum.
Then 4 days before she tells us maybe there will be 35. Then the day before she tells us there will be 30. And guess how many showed up the day of 24!!!!
She didn't offer to pay for anything. Not even the 11 people we had to pay for, because she couldn't provide an accurate headcount! And to be honest this is her family. We invited 2 friends, the rest were in the bridal party. I didn't feel it was right that we had to pay for his whole families shower.
Ohh, she did offer to provide the centerpeices, which imo was completely unnecessary, they already had flowers on the tables. So, at the end of the shower she had 6 centerpeices and took them ALL home and did not offer to give any of the bridal party who paid for her family to have lunch!
It just pst me off. Because had she gave us the right #, I would of had it at my house! How can you be off by over 100%
JNMWineBride
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
This is different for everyone. When I was in the wedding party of one of my best friends...we basically found out it was on us to pay for the shower. Her mom helped by getting us the place - her friend's house. My other best friend who was also in the bridal party said we shouldn't have to pay - it should be taken care of by a female family member...but then when it came time for her wedding there was no question that us girls were paying for the shower. It really depends on your situation, what you're used to, etc. I know lots of people where their mom(s) pay for the shower, but every wedding I've been in...the shower was paid for by the bridal party.
The best thing to do is be up front with the rest of the bridal party that money is tight and you'll do whatever you can...and ask that the group keep expenses down as much as possible. Also, if you volunteer to make things, or bargain hunt, or do a lot of the leg work, it won't seem as bad if you have money issues....at least you're making an effort in their eyes.
Being in a wedding party is expensive - especially for the girls - we all know this going into it - but it doesn't have to be outrageous...I think most girls understand tight money situations.
If you put aside like $10 a week leading up to the shower - it should help out.
Good luck!
evnme
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
my mom and fmil are paying for the shower
eden
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
Posted by jportjeff
both my mom and fmil paid for there own showers.
However, I was a BM in my friends wedding and her mom paid for her shower, but her fmil said we needed to pay for her shower. We grew up with her family, but hardly knew his family.
Anywyay, Get this.. I'm sure this is more info then you wanted!
She tells us to use 60 as a head count, so we did 50 to be conservative, booked a place using 45-50 as a minimum.
Then 4 days before she tells us maybe there will be 35. Then the day before she tells us there will be 30. And guess how many showed up the day of 24!!!!
She didn't offer to pay for anything. Not even the 11 people we had to pay for, because she couldn't provide an accurate headcount! And to be honest this is her family. We invited 2 friends, the rest were in the bridal party. I didn't feel it was right that we had to pay for his whole families shower.
Ohh, she did offer to provide the centerpeices, which imo was completely unnecessary, they already had flowers on the tables. So, at the end of the shower she had 6 centerpeices and took them ALL home and did not offer to give any of the bridal party who paid for her family to have lunch!
It just pst me off. Because had she gave us the right #, I would of had it at my house! How can you be off by over 100%
How utterly insensitive and rude of her. I think you should send that woman a bill for the shower. Honestly, some people need to realize they've made and mistake and either apologize or compensate for it. The nerve!
Sorry you had to deal with that!
Maybride519
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
My parents are paying for mine
krispyc
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
My mom, aunt (mother of my MOH) and FMIL are paying for the shower.
My mom said she wouldn't expect the BMs to pay for anything shower related (aside from a gift if they want) because she knows they're doing so much already. My MOH is only 19 and in college. She doesn't have the money.
Mrs. Powell
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
My mom and MOH.
Mayflower
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
my mom's paying for half and the moh and bms are splitting the other half
traditionally, i think the moh and bm pay for it
Bridex100
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
I was in a wedding where the bridesmaids paid for the shower, which would not have been so bad but the person who planned the shower went crazy. It ended up being very expensive and the bridesmaids were not happy at all. It was more of a family event but the bridesmaids footed the bill. I think the family should have paid for it in that case.
nov06
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
My mom is paying for mine.
jenntony
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
my mom is paying for most of the shower, my sister (MOH) is getting prizes/gifts for the games and one of the BMs is helping with the food and making the invites for everyone
StreetDoc6531
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
Posted by jportjeff
both my mom and fmil paid for there own showers.
However, I was a BM in my friends wedding and her mom paid for her shower, but her fmil said we needed to pay for her shower. We grew up with her family, but hardly knew his family.
Anywyay, Get this.. I'm sure this is more info then you wanted!
She tells us to use 60 as a head count, so we did 50 to be conservative, booked a place using 45-50 as a minimum.
Then 4 days before she tells us maybe there will be 35. Then the day before she tells us there will be 30. And guess how many showed up the day of 24!!!!
She didn't offer to pay for anything. Not even the 11 people we had to pay for, because she couldn't provide an accurate headcount! And to be honest this is her family. We invited 2 friends, the rest were in the bridal party. I didn't feel it was right that we had to pay for his whole families shower.
Ohh, she did offer to provide the centerpeices, which imo was completely unnecessary, they already had flowers on the tables. So, at the end of the shower she had 6 centerpeices and took them ALL home and did not offer to give any of the bridal party who paid for her family to have lunch!
It just pst me off. Because had she gave us the right #, I would of had it at my house! How can you be off by over 100%
That's just plain rude. I'd be pissed too!!!
hmpena
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Re: Who paid for your shower?
My bms paid for my shower. When I was a bm, we all paid for the bride's shower. I am als going to be in 2 weddings this year, and I will be expected to contribute to the shower costs. I don't mind paying, especially since in my group of friends, any time there is a wedding, the bms paid for it.
