Re: would you tell the truth?
kind words from Bambi :)
Member since
would you tell the truth?
Original post by snoozyandboo
If a bride posted here saying 'here's a picture of my dress what do you think?' or 'I just booked my RH its _________' would you give your honest opinion? I'm just curious because whenever someone posts something, everyone always says how beautiful it is. I'm not thinking of anything specific so don't freak if you just posted your invite pic or something. I'm just asking in general: how honest are we? Frankly, I don't know if I would say I hated something, unless someone asked to choose between two options, even then I wouldn't say 'Oh pick two because one is horrible!'
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Re: would you tell the truth?
I pride myself on my honesty...it's gotten me in trouble quite a few times here with girls. You know what? I don't care.
That being said...I have NEVER said I have not liked a girl's dress, even if I don't. I have NEVER outright said that I don't like their hair or makeup...have I said I personally would not go with that color? Yes. Not saying that I don't like it...for instance, I hate purple eye makeup, because on me, it looks awful and washes me out. I would never want purple/lilac/mauve eye makeup for my wedding day...and I've said that on a few occasions. But on some girls that looks good, and if you can pull it off, more power to you.
The times when I don't curb myself are more when it comes to RHs, and only ones that I've had firsthand experiences with, because I think that with the money you pay for an RH you should hear all sides of the story. My friend and BM went to a wedding at my RH this winter, and didn't like the dinner...she struggled with telling me or not, but in the end she did, and I was grateful that she told me so I can try to ensure that doesn't happen to me. I think it's important to be honest and truthful when it comes to things like that...one of my biggest gripes here is the rose colored glasses/head in the sand attitudes some girls can take. As long as you don't go around telling someone that their RH is dirty, low rent, a ginzo palace, etc...I think it's perfectly acceptable to say yeah, my friend/sister/cousin got married there and I didn't think there was a wide selection of food choices/the bar was disorganized/the waitstaff kept taking my dish before I was done...those are important things that you should know about if you're paying money for a service IMO.
That being said...I have NEVER said I have not liked a girl's dress, even if I don't. I have NEVER outright said that I don't like their hair or makeup...have I said I personally would not go with that color? Yes. Not saying that I don't like it...for instance, I hate purple eye makeup, because on me, it looks awful and washes me out. I would never want purple/lilac/mauve eye makeup for my wedding day...and I've said that on a few occasions. But on some girls that looks good, and if you can pull it off, more power to you.
The times when I don't curb myself are more when it comes to RHs, and only ones that I've had firsthand experiences with, because I think that with the money you pay for an RH you should hear all sides of the story. My friend and BM went to a wedding at my RH this winter, and didn't like the dinner...she struggled with telling me or not, but in the end she did, and I was grateful that she told me so I can try to ensure that doesn't happen to me. I think it's important to be honest and truthful when it comes to things like that...one of my biggest gripes here is the rose colored glasses/head in the sand attitudes some girls can take. As long as you don't go around telling someone that their RH is dirty, low rent, a ginzo palace, etc...I think it's perfectly acceptable to say yeah, my friend/sister/cousin got married there and I didn't think there was a wide selection of food choices/the bar was disorganized/the waitstaff kept taking my dish before I was done...those are important things that you should know about if you're paying money for a service IMO.
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Re: would you tell the truth?
Posted by jayepyt
Posted by kris_gets_hitched
If something is not posed as a question, but rather just a picture of a dress/shoes/whatever, and it's something that I personally don't like, I just don't respond at all.
Now....there are plenty of threads that I've not responded to about dresses/shoes/whatever and that doesn't mean I don't like them. LIW is a 24/7 operation, and we all have lives. Realistically, we're not on the site all the time, and we all miss out on posts.
However, if something is posed as a question; ie., 'I'm thinking of booking _______, anyone have experience with them?' - if I had a bad experience, I will tell the person via FM about it. They asked for input, I gave it.
When something is an either/or (invite 1 vs. invite 2), then I'll give my input as well. Again, they're asking.
So, back to the question...I prefer to go the 'if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all' route.
agreed
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Re: would you tell the truth?
it depends what it is. if its a dress or something like that and i think its hideous i just dont post on the thread at all.
if its a question where i can answer it honestly but not be too mean or offensive than i will, i will sometimes add 'just my opinion' since we are all entitled to that right? lol
if its a question where i can answer it honestly but not be too mean or offensive than i will, i will sometimes add 'just my opinion' since we are all entitled to that right? lol
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
I agree with Jackie that it depends on what it is. If its a dress, I feel like 'to each his own' just bc I don't like it doesn't mean anything. As long as the bride to be loves everything, then thats all that matters. But if someone would ask my opinion on food at a certain RH, I would tell them my experience. There is also a way of phasing things. For example I would never say 'omg the food at ____ was horrible, absolutely disgusting, the place is soooo tacky' There is nice way of getting your honest opinion across.
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Re: would you tell the truth?
I try to be as honest as possbile without hurting the person's feelings. Not saying anything is one thing but if someone asks for your honest opinion on a RH or a vendor, why not give them it? It might be something that you say about that RH that might happen to them or that they need to look out for. I think this board is called 'brides helping brides' and that's what we should be doing.
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Re: would you tell the truth?
Posted by jayepytita
Posted by kris_gets_hitched
If something is not posed as a question, but rather just a picture of a dress/shoes/whatever, and it's something that I personally don't like, I just don't respond at all.
Now....there are plenty of threads that I've not responded to about dresses/shoes/whatever and that doesn't mean I don't like them. LIW is a 24/7 operation, and we all have lives. Realistically, we're not on the site all the time, and we all miss out on posts.
However, if something is posed as a question; ie., 'I'm thinking of booking _______, anyone have experience with them?' - if I had a bad experience, I will tell the person via FM about it. They asked for input, I gave it.
When something is an either/or (invite 1 vs. invite 2), then I'll give my input as well. Again, they're asking.
So, back to the question...I prefer to go the 'if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all' route.
ITA
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
There's really just a way to do things without being offensive. If someone posted something I didn't like and asked for input, I might offer suggestions as to what I'd do differently, etc., but I would never say 'UGH THAT'S HIDEOUS' or 'What a waste of money for something so $hitty!' There's really a way of getting your opinion and point across honestly without being a douchebag about it.
But would I wander onto a thread where someone is excitedly posting about her dress, and I happen to think it looks terrible on her and tell her so? Absolutely not - that's just mean. (And for the record, nor would I write about it on another thread![]()
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But would I wander onto a thread where someone is excitedly posting about her dress, and I happen to think it looks terrible on her and tell her so? Absolutely not - that's just mean. (And for the record, nor would I write about it on another thread
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
When someone asks for critical opinions, I always give them. If someone posts saying 'Does this bracelet go with my dress?' if I don't think it does, I'm going to say so.
If someone has booked an RH and I have personal negative experience, I might FM them and say something like 'I had this experience, this may be something to watch out for down the road'. Not in a negative way...but in a way that says 'Hey, no RH is perfect and now you know the specific problem so you can be sure to watch them and make sure it doesn't happen to you.'
I will almost never post a negative opinion about an RH, photographer, DJ, florist, etc in a thread...if people ask for opinions on them, I just FM them. Some brides on here are too uppity and don't see CONSTRUCTIVE negative opinions as an opportunity to make sure you get the best service possible. How can you know what to look out for if you think everything is fine?
If someone has booked an RH and I have personal negative experience, I might FM them and say something like 'I had this experience, this may be something to watch out for down the road'. Not in a negative way...but in a way that says 'Hey, no RH is perfect and now you know the specific problem so you can be sure to watch them and make sure it doesn't happen to you.'
I will almost never post a negative opinion about an RH, photographer, DJ, florist, etc in a thread...if people ask for opinions on them, I just FM them. Some brides on here are too uppity and don't see CONSTRUCTIVE negative opinions as an opportunity to make sure you get the best service possible. How can you know what to look out for if you think everything is fine?
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
I agree that it's best to be honest, but if I don't like something, I just won't reply to the post. I don't want to say anything negative if someone is so excited about their dress, etc. I will be honest but will say it in a nice, tactful way if asked for my opinion. I would FM the person if they wanted a review of a place or person and it wasn't exactly favorable.
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
I just don't say anything... Just as I may not like things that some brides picked, they may not like what I have picked. Once you start negatively responding some ladies can get like piranhas and turn it into a ![]()
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-fest. Since I enjoy being a member of this community I try to avoid it..
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
If I like something then I say I do but if I don't, then depending on the question, I don't answer. It's fine if its constructive criticism but if something is not my taste or I really don't like it then I just donot reply.
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
i would give my opinion if it was asked for but when someone just posts something because they would like to show it but dont ask for an opinion, i answer if i like it and if i dont like it, i dont answer.
when an opinion is asked, i am always honest but would tactfully say i dont like something if thats how i felt
eta: i just read the last choice on the poll, lol!
when an opinion is asked, i am always honest but would tactfully say i dont like something if thats how i felt
eta: i just read the last choice on the poll, lol!
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
Posted by JessNicole7EM
Posted by jayepytita
Posted by kris_gets_hitched
If something is not posed as a question, but rather just a picture of a dress/shoes/whatever, and it's something that I personally don't like, I just don't respond at all.
Now....there are plenty of threads that I've not responded to about dresses/shoes/whatever and that doesn't mean I don't like them. LIW is a 24/7 operation, and we all have lives. Realistically, we're not on the site all the time, and we all miss out on posts.
However, if something is posed as a question; ie., 'I'm thinking of booking _______, anyone have experience with them?' - if I had a bad experience, I will tell the person via FM about it. They asked for input, I gave it.
When something is an either/or (invite 1 vs. invite 2), then I'll give my input as well. Again, they're asking.
So, back to the question...I prefer to go the 'if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all' route.
ITA too.
Me too.
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
It depends on the situation. If I had a bad experience with a vendor/place, then I'd tell her. If it was just a matter of taste, then I'd let her know that it's not my style but if she loves it then congrats for her!
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
it depends on the situation, someone can post 3 different thing, some times i like a combo of them... or i'll say, its not my style, but its nice, or something along those lines...
there are ways to be honest and not be hurtful... i think we all try to say things that way...
there are ways to be honest and not be hurtful... i think we all try to say things that way...
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Re: would you tell the truth?
My mom always told me 'if i havent got anything nice to say, dont say anything at all'! If i dont like something, i just wont post!
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Re: would you tell the truth?
Posted by elisa112101
My mom always told me 'if i havent got anything nice to say, dont say anything at all'! If i dont like something, i just wont post!
ITA!!! Why say something hurtful to someone on something they love.
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
I think this is a great thread for open and honest insight on the board.
First, If I don't have anything nice to say I don't say it. I wont make any comment at all.
But there is a difference between:
'Does this necklace go with my dress' (in this I would be completely honest)
than
'I just bought this wedding dress, what do you think' (I would not respond if I hated the dress)
I think there is a way to help without being mean and nasty.
But truth be told I have seen MANY brides attacked for their opinion on this board. Take the woman the other day who was asking about engagement gifts. She ABSOLUTELY didn't mean to be offensive, but she was to some people. Fair enough. Even after she apologized PROFUSELY, people were STILL jumping down her throat. And what about the girl who had a problem with some DJ company last week? Yes, that probably was BS, but still MAYBE it was true.
I have also seen people attacked for an opinion on an RH. I will say that the opinions are not written with the most tact, but again brides get VERY defensive about THEIR photog, hall, florist etc.
If we TRULY want to help each other, I think we can be open and honest in a supporting way to help each other.
I *WANT* to know if you had a hard time with my limo, florist, RH company. I WANT brides to come on here and say 'They screwed me'. It does not mean Im going to change my venue, photog, limo company. But it DOES make me aware of problems. I can be more prepared with that vendor to make sure the same thing does not happen to me.
Take MI@. Over the past few months we have seen so many good/bad reviews of her. There has *NEVER* been a question about her work, but her professionalism. She is not a vendor for me, but if she WAS, I'm glad t know that I would need to be aware of some of these things so I can cut it off at the pass if it *does* start.
Just food for thought.
Right now If I don't have anything nice to say I don't say anything at all.
First, If I don't have anything nice to say I don't say it. I wont make any comment at all.
But there is a difference between:
'Does this necklace go with my dress' (in this I would be completely honest)
than
'I just bought this wedding dress, what do you think' (I would not respond if I hated the dress)
I think there is a way to help without being mean and nasty.
But truth be told I have seen MANY brides attacked for their opinion on this board. Take the woman the other day who was asking about engagement gifts. She ABSOLUTELY didn't mean to be offensive, but she was to some people. Fair enough. Even after she apologized PROFUSELY, people were STILL jumping down her throat. And what about the girl who had a problem with some DJ company last week? Yes, that probably was BS, but still MAYBE it was true.
I have also seen people attacked for an opinion on an RH. I will say that the opinions are not written with the most tact, but again brides get VERY defensive about THEIR photog, hall, florist etc.
If we TRULY want to help each other, I think we can be open and honest in a supporting way to help each other.
I *WANT* to know if you had a hard time with my limo, florist, RH company. I WANT brides to come on here and say 'They screwed me'. It does not mean Im going to change my venue, photog, limo company. But it DOES make me aware of problems. I can be more prepared with that vendor to make sure the same thing does not happen to me.
Take MI@. Over the past few months we have seen so many good/bad reviews of her. There has *NEVER* been a question about her work, but her professionalism. She is not a vendor for me, but if she WAS, I'm glad t know that I would need to be aware of some of these things so I can cut it off at the pass if it *does* start.
Just food for thought.
Right now If I don't have anything nice to say I don't say anything at all.
Member since
Re: would you tell the truth?
Posted by Sarahgetsmarried
I think this is a great thread for open and honest insight on the board.
First, If I don't have anything nice to say I don't say it. I wont make any comment at all.
But there is a difference between:
'Does this necklace go with my dress' (in this I would be completely honest)
than
'I just bought this wedding dress, what do you think' (I would not respond if I hated the dress)
I think there is a way to help without being mean and nasty.
But truth be told I have seen MANY brides attacked for their opinion on this board. Take the woman the other day who was asking about engagement gifts. She ABSOLUTELY didn't mean to be offensive, but she was to some people. Fair enough. Even after she apologized PROFUSELY, people were STILL jumping down her throat. And what about the girl who had a problem with some DJ company last week? Yes, that probably was BS, but still MAYBE it was true.
I have also seen people attacked for an opinion on an RH. I will say that the opinions are not written with the most tact, but again brides get VERY defensive about THEIR photog, hall, florist etc.
If we TRULY want to help each other, I think we can be open and honest in a supporting way to help each other.
I *WANT* to know if you had a hard time with my limo, florist, RH company. I WANT brides to come on here and say 'They screwed me'. It does not mean Im going to change my venue, photog, limo company. But it DOES make me aware of problems. I can be more prepared with that vendor to make sure the same thing does not happen to me.
Take MI@. Over the past few months we have seen so many good/bad reviews of her. There has *NEVER* been a question about her work, but her professionalism. She is not a vendor for me, but if she WAS, I'm glad t know that I would need to be aware of some of these things so I can cut it off at the pass if it *does* start.
Just food for thought.
Right now If I don't have anything nice to say I don't say anything at all.
Well said!
