losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

People have been saying 'You find out who your true friends are' during your wedding process and I think this is true.

What do you think?

The events of this past weekend have just gotten me thinking and I wanted to hear all of your thoughts.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

Definately. I lost my now ex best friend right after I got engaged. You see people's true colors and some people aren't very nice.

My first cousin didn't come to my wedding because (in her own words) 'I'll have to see if I have better plans for that day. If I don't, then I'll come to the wedding.'

Thanks, but no thanks.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I definitely agree. Most people are genuinely happy for you and want to help you out anyway they can. Then there are those who are jealous, insecure and don't want you to happy unless they themselves are. It's sad.

There are also those who don't consider themselves guests at your wedding, but the center of attraction.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I agree 100%

I am no longer friends with one of my ex bestfriends.

I no longer speak with an uncle and my cousin.

It really does show the true colors of people!!

: )

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

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Posted by pa56


There are also those who don't consider themselves guests at your wedding, but the center of attraction.

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I have this too lol

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I think friendships break up and people get upset bc you never have to deal with people on such a touchy weird subject like a wedding...everyone has their own opinions it doesn't make someone a bad friend bc they don't treat one day differently or have the right planning etiquette etc.. your friends and family are going to disagree and get catty bc its something they never had to go through with you before... you don't break up with your fiancé bc he has a bad day and says something rude bc you have established a relationship that needs constant work and compromise..... with friends you never really have fights often so when a wedding comes along new stress comes out and since you never went through it with a friend you are more than likely not going to handle it in the best way for either of you guys.. ....not everyone is going to react the same way and one friend is not better than the other bc they are irresponsible about your wedding day.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

Any relationships that have been broken since being engaged had and have nothing to do with or wedding day, but to do with those peoples rude jealous nature and also because of not being able to keep their mouths shut, like mother always said if you cant say something nice dont say it at all .

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I've learned that there is a larger world than the one that I live in. Having said that, I only speak of wedding planning when I am asked. I do agree you see peoples true colors though.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

To be honest I have just never felt so alone until I started planning this wedding. My best friend in the whole world that I have literally known since birth wants nothing to do with it and it honestly makes me feel so alone and sad. I have alot of ppl that are excited for me and I love and appreciate that but the one person I want is nowhere to be found. I don't want to say that our relationship or friendship is ruined, b/c nothing could ruin it.. but its def. not the same and def. not what I expected... I understand people are busy and have their own lives so I am dealing with it. Sorry about the rambling.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

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Posted by Mrs Z To Be

I've learned that there is a larger world than the one that I live in. Having said that, I only speak of wedding planning when I am asked. I do agree you see peoples true colors though.

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you couldn't have said it better, i really only talk to family about the wedding, and if I get asked by someone else ill talk about it. :)

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I actually learned who my friends were way before getting engaged-
My old roomate, who was such a good friend, totally changed when FH and I met. She was so mad that she didn't have anyone to go out and party in NYC with anymore-she started never coming home until late at night and would be away on weekends the last 2 months of our lease.
Then purposely she lied to me 3 times about paying the electric bill and I had to pay $400 dollars!
We spoke via email twice after we moved out (Oct 07) and thats it. I let her know in a letter how I felt and of course, being the pathological liar that she is, lied and said none of it was true. Yea right. Then after FH proposed and she found out she starts calling my phone saying 'I don't care what happened, you're engaged!! Call me', but it was too late. She's totally jealous and backstabbing and I'm glad I was smart enough to cut her out before any of this happend.

I'm the last of my girlfriends to get married, so everyone's so happy its been a love fest. I feel so lucky to have a wonderful intimate group of girlfriends that we're all happy and supportive of each other.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I have to completely agree....I have seen who will be there and who won't when push comes to shove. A lot of people you love and have gone out of your way for will not return the favor when it is your turn...it is a HUGE let down and it hurts, but it is a lesson learned.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

i def thik true colors come out during a wedding..i just go by if they were true b4 they will survive the whole planning process

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I agree. I was intent on inviting old college friends that I haven't seen in years, but have gotten closer with 'newer' girlfriends in the past 6 months and will be inviting them. We have a smallish guest list (150pp) so those I haven't talked to or seen in the past 1-2 years won't be invited.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I agree 100%. I have different groups of friends and from one group I am the first to get married. One of my best friends, I believe has decided that we have nothing in common anymore since I'm getting married. We used to go shopping all the time hang out and do nothing, go to lunch now I can barely get her to call me. I addressed it once and it really has done nothing so what can I do? It's very hurtful but some people just get weird.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

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Posted by MirabellaNYC

I actually learned who my friends were way before getting engaged-
My old roomate, who was such a good friend, totally changed when FH and I met. She was so mad that she didn't have anyone to go out and party
QUOTE]

I had this same experience ... my ex best friend was the same. Everytime I would meet a nice guy she hated him and would want me to get back with my loser ex (because she really liked his best freind). She hated that since she was single she had to go out and I couldnt go with her or that I would want to brgin my BF. I confronted her about this but she is such a pathological liar that she denied it all and we had a huge fight and havent spoken since. She was very jelous of me and how close Iam to my family and I realize that now. Its funny because none of my other friends liked her but they never told me. So when they found out we werent freinds I had all these calls coming in about how they are so happy we arent talking because they never liked her and she had such bad energy! lol I was like why didnt you tell me this sooner and they said they didnt want to hurt my feelings since we were so close.