Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

I see where you are coming from...I think I have a sore spot in my mind b/c of how my mother has to tip toe around my father...

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

I also agree with ReallyBehind! My DH helped me write out TY's as well as Xmas cards. I did most of them because I did a few each night while he was at work and they were my family & friends & some joint friends. I left some for him to do of each (people I really didn't know) and told him they NEEEDED to be done & he sat & did them!

I told him I WAS NOT doing them all myself & he agreed that I shouldn't & that he would help with them. NO COMPLAINTS!

I do agree that timing is EVERYTHING! I wouldn't want to be interrupted while watching one of my dramas so I would wait until the right time to ask (a commercial)

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

This is a good topic. See we need to have these topics more often to save the brides that cross over. Nrvbrd see had you told your friend before hand she would not have dared approach that poor man during football about thank you cards


Though I must say though most of us are saying the men are not interested. I had a friend that got married in 2001 and her husband took part in every single aspect of the wedding. We all say her husband is from another planet.

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

hmmm, we (me? DH? both?) will be writing thank you cards when we return from vacation. this conversation has got me thinking....

now i know not to ask him during a football game!
(j/k- DH is not into sports at all, but is very into his computer!).

thank goodness for the NW board- interesting topics, mature conversations, enlightening comments.

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

I don't think I could get him to sit still long enough to write thank you cards! lol.

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

I agree with you, and I try to leave the house when the Vikings games are on....God forbid I may sneeze and jinx the game lol

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

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Posted by StayandJohn

I agree with you, and I try to leave the house when the Vikings games are on....God forbid I may sneeze and jinx the game lol

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LMAO!!!!

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

I'm so upset I missed the post today, this was a GREAT one NVRBRD!!!! Now that I have a new job and a new work schedule, I won't be on the boards as much, I come on only if I'm not too tired.

I was cracking up at some of the posts and I agree and disagreed with some.

I am still growing within my marriage, however, for our almost 4 years I have learned quite a bit about my husband, myself, and many other important factors of what it takes to have harmony in a marriage. The first couple of years is all about trial and error. But when you look down the line 5, 10, 15+ years, it's not hard to get on each others' nerves - that's where boundaries come in, especially if you want to keep the respect and good feelings flowing.

There have been times when I would get so upset if he didn't do certain things, but it was almost 99% an argument, after a while that get so tired and I think you even start to grow small hints of resentment. SO not the worth the hassle! If I need help with a chore or project, I'll say 'babe, we need to get these TY card's out by tomorrow, you think you can lend me a hand for about an hour after the game? He'll then give me my answer, more than likely he may help or he may say, I'm not really good at that then I decide what to do next!
When it comes to doing TY's and things like that, I usually do it myself b/c he really is not good at it and the time it takes me to explain or correct mistakes would annoy me, so I do it. Hubby and I have an agreement from the beginning that the interior of our home is my responsibility and the exterior is his! However, it's not set in stone. He still helps clean, wash dishes, cook and do laundry depending on what's going on or my schedule, but when things are flowing smooth we all handle our chores with no problem. And b/c I don't nag him about stuff he'll even volunteer at times or do it without me asking. NO our relationship is not perfect, but these are things that we realized we had to incorporate inorder to live peacefully. Communication is really a constant learning process. When hubby sees me here on the LIW he sometimes laugh and tells me how I need to invest in LIW b/c I love you guys so much, and he doesn't bother me when I'm on here. I also give him the same respect when he's watching sports or reading or doing whatever he likes to do. If it's not an emergency and it can wait I - then I wait.

Like many of you said, picking your battles is so important! Being married doesn't really give us the passport to suddenly get demanding, if he wasn't like that before you got married, it's going to be a pretty damn hard job changing him after. I USED to try to change my hubby, but I have long since learned that people don't change, but they do adjust to 'certain things.'

Unfortunately, men were not really trained as young men to be domestic or do the little touches that we women do. Doing things like writing TY's comes natural for us and for most men it's forced. I'm not saying he shouldn't help and get involved, but sometimes (i'm going to go out on a limb here) I think some women measure how much their husband loves them or care about the relationship by how much he does little things like writing TY's, or shopping for certain things, or helping to decorate the home etc. Please don't take offense - it's just MHO!


Sorry for the rambling, but this was a great topic!

See you all later!

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

I have to say that I try not to bother him when he's watching the games either, and most of the time we sit and watch together. This past week we did our Christmas cards, I wrote them all out, he stamped, sealed and put the return address on them. Believe it or not, that makes me happy just because he wants to help in that small way. I don't expect him to help me at all, but he offered to do something. With our TY's, he helped me with what to say, signed his own name, put the picture in and again stamped, sealed and put the return address on them.

I definitely think there are times when we all need to pick our battles. He helps me out so much around the apartment since he works from home. He runs countless errands for me as well as food shop, wash dishes, and cleans if I ask him to! Sure there are times when he forgets to do something, but so do I, and it all evens out in the end.