OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

Original post by nrvbrd

Dec 16, 2003 10:23 AM

I know I am going to get it for this one, but here goes.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my friend/co worker as we were leaving. She told me she was upset because she had a fight with her live in boyfriend.

It started Sunday afternoon. She was writing out thankyou cards from their son's birthday party, and on top of that she also wanted to send christmas cards. So she turns to boyfriend while he is watching a football game and asks him to help her. Of course he says no and tells her that he is watching the game and to please not bother him with that.
Naturally she got upset and an argument started. He called her a nag and this and that.

I told her that while it was not nice for him to speak to her like that, she has to realize that there are some things men are not interested in, ESPECIALLY while they are watching FOOTBALL. She set herself up for that one. HELLO the game is on down to the last second- oh yeah I really want to write a thankyou.

I told her one of the cardinal rules is to never bother a man while watching sports.

THIS MAY NOT apply to everyone but to the huge majority of men who love sports.

I said to her this is not an invitation to let him off the hook with not doing his share of the work, but to some degree you have to be realistic in what you ask him to do.

My hubby did not help write our TY;S- did I throw a hissy fit- no wrote them and sent them out. There are some things he will do and some he will not- ya gotta learn to pick your battles and deal. JMO.

Sassy Posted: Dec 16, 2003 02:57 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

Posted by nrvbrd

Posted by Sassy

Posted by Sonicstef

I dont think I could live with a person that Im not allowed to speak to on certain days b/c something they find entertaining is on the television. I mean, football lasts for over 12 hours in a weekend that last 48 - how are you not supposed to discuss stuff during that period? At least Oprah is only on for 60 minutes :D

This is EXACTLY the way I feel.
To be honest, if I felt I could not interrupt my hubby whenever I felt like it, important or not, I would not be with him. I personally don't believe in all these boundaries in a marriage. JMHO.

If you ask any woman who has been HAPPILY married a signficant number of years
and you ask them what their secrets are, I can almost guarantee one of them will be

LEARNING WHEN TO SHUT UP!!!

Hmmm................ If this is true, expect my divorce papers in the morning, Shutting up is not my strong point

shamma Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:00 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

Kathy, I feel the same way about Roger, he loves tennis, but at least we love it together. I love attention and when he or anyone else is giving it to me, I want it to be undivided.

Liz, your papers have been delivered

Latina511 Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:04 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

The only thing that Enzo is into watching on TV that I hate is the NEWS and politics. I leave alone for important events other times its like 'hello they will repeat it later anyways. I need attention now'. LOL

dgtlsunshine Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:08 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

oh no I am not saying not to speak to your husband for hours or days. I am just saying to use common sense. ( my husband always says common sense isn't really so common :lol) It is a scientific fact that men can not concentrate or more than one thing at a time while women are excellent at multitasking.

When a man is watching football and you ask him a question. For him to answer the question it completely throws him off from the game. While if a woman was watching a game you can ask her a question she will answer the question and keep up with the game at the same time.

I still think its rude to interrupt people just because one feels they need attention. I guess b/c I am a really analytical (aka anal) person.

nrvbrd Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:10 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

Posted by dgtlsunshine

oh no I am not saying not to speak to your husband for hours or days. I am just saying to use common sense. ( my husband always says common sense isn't really so common :lol) It is a scientific fact that men can not concentrate or more than one thing at a time while women are excellent at multitasking.

When a man is watching football and you ask him a question. For him to answer the question it completely throws him off from the game. While if a woman was watching a game you can ask her a question she will answer the question and keep up with the game at the same time.

I still think its rude to interrupt people.

EXACTLY NEVA!!!!

MY hubby CANNOT multitask, it is frustrating and funny at the same time.

wacky Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:17 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

I am a football widow and I dont bother him with anything on that day. We are both solo.

She should have waited to ask him, to write the thank yous. It would be the same if she was doing something she really enjoyed and he asked her to help with the laundry

We must learn to respect each others down time

wacky Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:18 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

PS Dgltshine I think we are married to the same man

Sonicstef Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:29 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

My husband loves football too..but not being able to have a conversation on Sunday b/c football is on?

You can say that knowing when to shut up is a sign of a good marriage but that would not be a good marriage for me. I still vote for communication based on what is going IRL over what is going on television.

wacky Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:31 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

SONIC, I HEAR YA BUT I CHOOSE TO IGNORE HIM. THE CONVERSATIONS ARE HALF ASSED AND ITS SO NOT WORTH IT.

ANYWAY I GET TO DO WHATEVER I WANT AND I DONT HAVE TO MAKE DINNER, LUNCH OR ANYTHING ELSE SO I LET HIM FRY HIS BRAIN ON SUNDAYS

Sonicstef Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:32 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

hahah...its good. I dont spend much time with my husband either on sunday. All Im saying is that I (and this is maybe just me) could not ilve in a house where Im not allowed to speak on certain days of the week. My house = I speak when i want to.

This all goes back to the coddling of men issue too. Can you imagine what people would say if a women sat down and watched tv all day??? She wuold be called every name in the book. But a man can sit his ass in front of the tube for weeks on end and people think its cute.

Anyway - football is always an issue in our house. I think its such a waste of time and he thinks its great. So I have learned to just agree to disagree on that issue.

nrvbrd Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:35 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

I guess I can laugh at this whole thing, because it really does not have that big of an effect on me. I can honestly say it does not bother me.

Hubby and I talk all the time, We do alot together, so for a few hours on Sunday I do not mind giving him time to focus on something else besides ME.

Latina511 Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:38 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

K- as usual great topic.

ILT1221 Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:40 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

When the game is on I get a lot of 'um hmmmm' answers. He is not really listening to me when the Jets are on. He tries to talk back...but he just can't! Unless the house is on fire I have learned to just let it go and catch him during commercial. Believe me this is a battle I fought and just gave up...

ChristineC68 Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:42 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

Posted by wacky

We must learn to respect each others down time

This sums up how I feel.

If DH wants to watch, in his case the news or weather, I respect that and let him be (as long as I don't have to watch it with him)

If I want to read or play on the computer or something else, I would like to be left alone.

I don't ever feel like I am not allowed to speak and I don't feel like I ever need to shut up. But peace and quiet is nice sometimes.

wacky Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:44 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

Chrisine, I never feel like I cant speak, but it would annoy the **** out of me if I was doing something I truly enjoyed and hubby decided he wanted to have a heart to heart

Sonicstef Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:47 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

NVR: YOu have to do a QOTD like this everyday. Its nice to see some discussion on this board :D

ChristineC68 Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:48 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

Same here!!!

I can be reading a magazine and DH says what are you doing? And I answer. Then 5 questions later I get 'Are you mad at me? You sound like I am bothering you.' *rolling eyes go here*

wacky Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:51 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

When Dh speaks to me when I doing something, I ignore him. After the 2nd question he retreats. It works like a charm

I agree Nvrbrd needs to do this everyday.

nrvbrd Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:51 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

Posted by Sonicstef

NVR: YOu have to do a QOTD like this everyday. Its nice to see some discussion on this board :D

Stef, I really like to have discussions like this as well, as opposed to what's your favorite color?- which gets like 500 posts.

Let 's just promise to discuss intelligently and be respectful.

My questions stem from talks with DH and friends.

ChristineC68 Posted: Dec 16, 2003 03:52 PM

Re: OK THIS TIME I am being hard on the ladies-Are you realistic when it comes to hubby sometimes?

Posted by nrvbrd

Posted by Sonicstef

NVR: YOu have to do a QOTD like this everyday. Its nice to see some discussion on this board :D

Stef, I really like to have discussions like this as well, as opposed to what's your favorite color?- which gets like 500 posts.

Let 's just promise to discuss intelligently and be respectful.

My questions stem from talks with DH and friends.

I am thoroughly enjoying these threads!!! Please keep it up