Brides Helping Brides ™ - Are your fiance's parents paying for anything? – Page 9

sarahradio5 · 2006-01-19T11:38:10-05:00

Just curious... my parents are footing about 80% of the wedding costs, we're doing about 20% and my fiance's mom is doing the rehearsal dinner... I know there are different versions of who should pay what depending on what 'tradition' you go by... how is everyone here doing it? I would like to ask his mom to help with limos or videographer or something to help lessen the blow for us. It's so awkward and stressful!

SomethingBlu Posted: Feb 03, 2006 02:05 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Posted by sarahradio5

So I should apologize for 'venting'? A lot of people use these boards to vent. When I don't agree with people, I nicely offer my differing opinion, or I just don't respond. I don't get MEAN about it. I was upset MORE that my FH said he was going to ask her again (since she said she didn't know YET a few months back) now that circumstances have changed, and didn't, and now is saying he's going to wait 'until it gets closer to the day'. I just needed to know where I stand financially! I do the bills... not my FH. He doesn't understand how stressful it is, especially when we still have a question mark! And all this doesn't help the stress!

No, you're absolutely allowed to vent. We all are. But you have to expect the kind of answers you received because you came across as someone 'entitled' to help from your FMIL.

I know it's stressful. My mom and IL's all said 'we hope to help as it gets closer' and throughout planning always said 'we hope to help'...I ignored them and so did DH and kept on truckin'...best thing we did because at the end they weren't able to help with anything and because we expected nothing we weren't dissapointed and were able to have the wedding of our dreams - by us for us...

Soon2BeMrsS Posted: Feb 03, 2006 02:15 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Yes, they want to pay for the whole wedding,........ I want to split the cost, ....... they laughed at me.

Soon2BeMrsS Posted: Feb 03, 2006 02:17 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Posted by eroxgirl

My inlaws didn't contribute one cent to our wedding.
My mom contributed about $200 - seriously.
My dad, FH and I paid the other 99.7%. My dad's girlfriend paid for the rehersal dinner because she's the most generous woman to ever live..

awww that's so sweet

Beth1210 Posted: Feb 03, 2006 02:22 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

My Dad paid for most of the wedding- minus the Limos, Rings and HM ( BM gifts)

My IL paid for the RD and she made the cookie favors

the kept asking for my Dad to call them- but if they wanted to help they should call my dad IMO

but- My Dad really didn't want or need help- but a gesture would be nice

I am not going to post on your other post b/c I feel like people are attacking you and I think you meant it different then it came out-

Greeneyes8705 Posted: Feb 03, 2006 02:29 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

aliwnec10 Posted: Feb 03, 2006 07:29 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

I am not going to post on your other post b/c I feel like people are attacking you and I think you meant it different then it came out-

I agree! I wish everyone would leave this alone. You've all said what you had to say and you've all given your opinions already... so let's know when to drop things. Learn to pick your battles and if you think this is one of them... then you have a lot to learn. JMO.

*To answer the original post here, my FMIL & FFIL are paying for half the wedding (my FH wanted the big wedding, i did not... i was happy to elope). My mother is paying for half of the RD and half of my dress (my aunt is paying the other halfs). The rest, we are paying for.

frosty Posted: Feb 03, 2006 11:03 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

My MIL didn't pay for anything. But she is 86 years old, and DH's father is deceased. My mom paid for my dress and a few other miscellaneous items. Everything else was paid for by DH and I. We didn't ask for anything. My mom insisted on paying for the items she could afford.

BRIDEMICHELE Posted: Feb 03, 2006 11:07 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

My parents- 1/2 the wedding costs and the Shower.

FIL- 1/4 of the wedding costs, the RH and Engagment party

Us- 1/4 of the wedding costs and the honeymoon.

We are very lucky and thank them constantly. But it comes at a cost. Both sets of parents are contributing money so I feel like they should have a say in almost every decision. They really have been great for the most part.

xcalystax Posted: Feb 03, 2006 11:47 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Posted by aliwnec10

I am not going to post on your other post b/c I feel like people are attacking you and I think you meant it different then it came out-

I agree! I wish everyone would leave this alone. You've all said what you had to say and you've all given your opinions already... so let's know when to drop things. Learn to pick your battles and if you think this is one of them... then you have a lot to learn. JMO.

*To answer the original post here, my FMIL & FFIL are paying for half the wedding (my FH wanted the big wedding, i did not... i was happy to elope). My mother is paying for half of the RD and half of my dress (my aunt is paying the other halfs). The rest, we are paying for.

Triple agree! I have no idea why girls get so heated about other people's lives... . In regards to your question: my family is footing the bill for the reception and my wedding dress. FH and I are paying for everything else. I WISH his parents' would at least offer to pay for something, but alas that's up to them.

ayadali Posted: Feb 04, 2006 09:19 AM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Right now, they are not paying for anything. My parents are putting the final payment on the reception hall and basically I am paying the rest. My FI is helping but frankly, I have more money saved than him.

My FMIL is helping though by picking favors that she likes (which cost like $8 PP) - but of course I have to foot the bill!

CTarantino Posted: Feb 04, 2006 09:25 AM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Rehersal Dinner and Flowers

CLMon7906 Posted: Feb 04, 2006 09:41 AM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

my fiance's parents are paying for almost everything. when it's all said and done, we will have paid for more than my parents! they offered to do it so that we could have a 'real wedding' instead of running away on a vacation and coming back married with pics of us on an island! cause that's what would've happened...i'm really regretting not getting the island getaway and being done with all of this!

PaddysGirl15 Posted: Feb 04, 2006 10:29 AM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Mine aren't- and that is fine with me. They are both retired and on fixed incomes (not a lot). Also, FMIL is not in the best of health so the best wedding gift she could give me is to be at our wedding!

We are paying for most of our wedding, and my mom is helping us out as much as she can.

kmkelly Posted: Feb 04, 2006 01:37 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

My FH's parents are deceased. So I don't think they'll be paying for anything. My parents will help a bit, but not much as they don't have the means.

Be greatful for what help you're getting from whomever your getting it from. It's a gift.

zapphire82 Posted: Feb 04, 2006 01:53 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

flowers...

soontobemrsv Posted: Feb 04, 2006 02:06 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

We are very fortunate, my parents are paying for the entire reception and fh parents are helping us by chipping in on whatever we need help with which is the photographer. We are paying for all the extras like the florist, dj, limos,favors, invites.

CL122705 Posted: Feb 04, 2006 02:07 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

I am stressing out because my Parents are not doing anything for me. Even the wedding dress. My FI parents are throwing us a engagement party. I feel so embarrasses. I feel like it should be 50 and 50.

jenntony Posted: Feb 04, 2006 02:10 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

my mom bought my dress/veil/garter, even though we are not doing the garter/boquet toss she still insisted that we are and bought it anyway

my mom and dad are paying for the caterer

FMIL is paying for the flowers and invitations and also making the food for the rehersal dinner along with FHs aunt

FFIL is paying for the photographer.

and then we are paying for everything else...

TaraJohn Posted: Feb 04, 2006 02:32 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Like you my parents are paying for 80-90% and FH's are paying for nothing! Which under normal situations would not make me mad because they are not as financially stable as my parents. However, the first night we went over after we got engaged she made the comment that 'she was going to have to invite a lot of people so she would not be underepresented' (i have a big fam). She gave us a list which included 20 fam members (which is totally acceptable) and then 40 more people......non-family, most of whom me and FH have never met. She never offered to pay for any of it. There is no way we can afford that. My parents are paying for their fam and their friends. Me and FH are paying for our friends, and it is only fair for them to pay for their friends. We've already had one big fight, and i know there are more to come!