LIW related

I agree with you...
BUT there are times when a person gives their opinion and is rude, or trys to force their opinion on everybody else, or make generalizations/assumptions.
Those are the opinions that annoy me.

diva...well i agree and disagree with ya. IMO nobody was ever banned because
they gave an honest opinion..there is usually a lot more to it then that!

There have even been girls who are still posters that have cussed
people out to the point of patheticeness not banned.

But i agree that if you are going to give an opinion say it tactfully
But what is tactful to me may not be tactful to someone else
and there seems to be there issue

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Posted by julz33

I agree with you...
BUT there are times when a person gives their opinion and is rude, or trys to force their opinion on everybody else, or make generalizations/assumptions.
Those are the opinions that annoy me.

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I am curious...can you give an example of this...
not trying to debate just interested in what is annoying

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Posted by oct.2004bride

diva...well i agree and disagree with ya. IMO nobody was ever banned because
they gave an honest opinion..there is usually a lot more to it then that!

There have even been girls who are still posters that have cussed
people out to the point of patheticeness not banned.

But i agree that if you are going to give an opinion say it tactfully
But what is tactful to me may not be tactful to someone else
and there seems to be there issue

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I agree with this. There is a way to say something and then there is a way to say something, if you know what I mean.

BUT, people should never start off threads with 'Am I being bridezilla' 'Is this tacky' 'Do you thing this is cheap' or anything like that. Because there is going to be someone who feels that YES is the answer to that question and, really, those threads are looking for support and not to be called bridezilla, tacky or cheap Every time I see one of those I cringe. The inevitable is just around the corner.

People need to think before they post - whether asking or answering a question. Most people are looking for an honest opinion. Some people are not. If you get a bad vibe off of a certain person and think they are not looking for honest opinions, just move on. Its not worth the ensuing drama.

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by julz33

I agree with you...
BUT there are times when a person gives their opinion and is rude, or trys to force their opinion on everybody else, or make generalizations/assumptions.
Those are the opinions that annoy me.

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I am curious...can you give an example of this...
not trying to debate just interested in what is annoying

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I can't give a specific example because I don't want to hurt anyones feelings
Actually... I don't care...
here is the latest opinion that bothered me:
http://www.liweddings.com/chat/topic.aspx?ID=162042

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Posted by julz33

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Posted by oct.2004bride

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Posted by julz33

I agree with you...
BUT there are times when a person gives their opinion and is rude, or trys to force their opinion on everybody else, or make generalizations/assumptions.
Those are the opinions that annoy me.

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I am curious...can you give an example of this...
not trying to debate just interested in what is annoying

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I can't give a specific example because I don't want to hurt anyones feelings
Actually... I don't care...
here is the latest opinion that bothered me:
http://www.liweddings.com/chat/topic.aspx?ID=162042

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That is terrible!!!

I am also a big fan of constructive criticism.

See, this all depends on the environment is which a person was raised. I will admit that because of my upbringing, I am an extremely critical and hard person. So sometimes I will say things that will be construed as mean or rude, even though I don't mean for it to be.

But if I say something that is taken that way and it is addresses, I will say something like 'oh, I didn't mean for it to sound that way' or I didn't mean to come off like a *****'. Once I do that I expect people to move on. But a lot of people like to beat a dead horse and continue to harp on it. Then, I feel, it becomes a problem.

uh oh...I am getting off subject aren't I.

There are posts where it is obvious people are just looking to be coddled (like 'I LOVE my xxxxx....what do you think?'). I usually post what they are looking for if I feel they are just feeling insecure and need some reinforcement.

Then there are posts where people put in 'I'm looking for Honest Opinions'. Those people get my honest opinion, but I think there is a way to be tactful and honest at the same time.

For example, I posted a while ago about a messenger bag I was thinking of getting for my BP and said 'honest opinions please'. A number of girls looked and said that it was not a good idea. I was very grateful for that post because people were honest with me, but nice about it.

So it's a balancing act.

I agree with most of the things that have been posted in this thread, and I think (especially given the drama on these boards sometimes) that oct.2004bride brings up a very important point.

One thing I'd like to add to this conversation is the question of tone. It is so difficult to convey tone through e-mail or web posts. Sometimes writers don't realize that certain visual cues (like using ALL CAPS, or lots of dramatic punctuation, like so: !?!?!?!) can imply hostility. And, of course, many of the emoticons can intensify drama as well -- the eye-rolling, the lil' angry fella, the head-banger, et cetera. In my opinion, these little visual cues can cause productive debates to turn into name-calling arguments.

I teach business writing sometimes, so tone is one of my obsessions -- sorry if it's a boring or overly obvious point!

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Posted by lorsin

There are posts where it is obvious people are just looking to be coddled (like 'I LOVE my xxxxx....what do you think?'). I usually post what they are looking for if I feel they are just feeling insecure and need some reinforcement.

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Thats why I didn't post the pics of my latests fittings... because I know I didn't look good and didn't want to hear people go on and on about how good I looked....because I knew it wasn't true!


I remember you r messenger bag post!

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Posted by julz33

I am also a big fan of constructive criticism.

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see that is where the heart of my concern is..
If people are going to ask a question then they should expect 'constructive
criticism..If it is just that

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Posted by julz33

I am also a big fan of constructive criticism.

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I am too.

It was helpful to me when I posted the 2 hair trial pics. I was 99% sure which style I was going for, but you all helped me confirm it.

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Posted by am470

honesty if the person wants it. But if the person says that they already booked their makeup woman because they love it, I would not respond if I hated it.

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I totally agree. If a person is asking for opinions I am always honest in my response. Sometimes I think that I piss people off on here because of it. But what good is a website where everyone is always just agreeing with you? That is not helpful. If it's after the fact though, I just leave it alone. Also, I try to keep in mind that some people have completely different taste than me and I may not like any of their choices, in those situations I usually stay away too. If our taste is so different what does it matter that I hate that wedding dress or those bridesmaids dresses etc?

I just thought of this.

I think what causes the drama most is that let's say person a asks a question and person be answers in a way that is construed as rude. Then you have persons c, d, & e butting in saying that person b was rude. I think that it may be possible to avoid drama by allowing person a to fight her own battles. It's nice to stand up for people, but its also unnecessary.

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Posted by fashionhag

I just thought of this.

I think what causes the drama most is that let's say person a asks a question and person be answers in a way that is construed as rude. Then you have persons c, d, & e butting in saying that person b was rude. I think that it may be possible to avoid drama by allowing person a to fight her own battles. It's nice to stand up for people, but its also unnecessary.

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ok i hear ya BUT for an example Jenny2penny's post about that
chick that went MIA on her..I thought that was rude and wanted to say so!
I believe a lot of others did too! Some people are also offended
by comments made...
I think people back up what they believe..