Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Original post by swags1016

Mar 02, 2005 02:53 PM

how do you think they will feel when they are older??

My mother is Jewish and my dad Roman Catholic so we were raised with neither religion. Growing up I didn't have a 'sense' of belonging to to one group or another. I felt like an outsider on both sides. It sucked to be honest. Now that we are having a child, we are going to have it baptized but are searching for a church that we will feel comfortable with.

While I completely understand when you say you don't agree with the Catholic Church, how do you think your children will feel when they are a little older and their friends have religion classes and confirmations, bar mitzahs and such and they don't? I am curious if you have thought about it from their stand point being that I was raised like that.

LuckyMe Posted: Mar 03, 2005 02:40 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

As a child my parents believed we should grow up and pick our own religions. I've always been very unhappy they did this. I had a bestfriend who was catholic and when her mother found out I was never baptised she told her daughter I was a nobody in gods eyes and that she shouldnt play with me anymore. Although ignorant as a child it stuck. I always felt left out and as an adult it is taking forever for me to find time to go through the religion classes I need to get baptized. It has also caused a problem within religious experiences with my children who are all baptised and two have made communion and confirmation. Giving your child a religious backbone does not mean that you have to follow it to the letter, nor does it mean when they grow up they wont choose to go to another religion. JMO

don424 Posted: Mar 03, 2005 02:51 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Posted by Capulet72

As a child my parents believed we should grow up and pick our own religions. I've always been very unhappy they did this. I had a bestfriend who was catholic and when her mother found out I was never baptised she told her daughter I was a nobody in gods eyes and that she shouldnt play with me anymore. Although ignorant as a child it stuck. I always felt left out and as an adult it is taking forever for me to find time to go through the religion classes I need to get baptized. It has also caused a problem within religious experiences with my children who are all baptised and two have made communion and confirmation. Giving your child a religious backbone does not mean that you have to follow it to the letter, nor does it mean when they grow up they wont choose to go to another religion. JMO

very VERY well said

june262004 Posted: Mar 03, 2005 03:07 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

I was 'raised catholic' I say it like that because my mother (both my mom and dad went to Catholic school growing up we went to Public school) Made me goto religion class growing up. I was baptized made Comunion and Confirmation. When It came time to get married my mom BEGGED me to get married in the church. I did it to make her happy (and really Mikes parents too although I could care less what they say ). I will be honest My mom NEVER took us to church. It kind of annoyed me when I would have to goto religion but on sunday mornings she slept instead of taking us to church. Why did I have to goto all these classes if she didn't goto church herself. Why to make everyone in the family happy probably! This is not how a family should feel about religion. Ive said to mike in the past when we have children they will be baptized and we WILL goto church with them.

HOWEVER my cousins mom is jewish and dad is catholic. They celebrated both until the youngest turned 13. Then my aunt asked all of them which religion they'd like to practice. They chose catholic. They were then Baptize and made comunion and comfirmation. Now my Jewish Aunt makes awesome Christmas dinner.

Really, Its up to the parents what they want their children to be. When the children are a certain age they can decide for themselves. BUT it why does it matter what Religion people are? I wasn't asked growing up. Just as long as you raise ure children to love all people differnt shapes sizes colors religion who cares.

amy&anthony Posted: Mar 03, 2005 09:23 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

I personally have no problem celebrating holidays for traditional reasons, not religious ones.

I was also baptised Catholic, but thats it. I can probably count the number of times Ive been in church on my fingers and toes. I wouldnt want to just pick a religion so my child can feel part of a group. If religion is that important than I dont think thats right.

'BUT why does it matter what Religion people are? I wasn't asked growing up. Just as long as you raise youre children to love all people different shapes sizes colors religion who cares.' I agree

RedHead Posted: Mar 03, 2005 09:32 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Posted by amy&anthony

I personally have no problem celebrating holidays for traditional reasons, not religious ones.

I was also baptised Catholic, but thats it. I can probably count the number of times Ive been in church on my fingers and toes. I wouldnt want to just pick a religion so my child can feel part of a group. If religion is that important than I dont think thats right.

'BUT why does it matter what Religion people are? I wasn't asked growing up. Just as long as you raise youre children to love all people different shapes sizes colors religion who cares.' I agree

WHY celebrate a religious holiday then?
Christmas is a CATHOLIC holiday...no? Catholic holidays are just that ...catholic holidays...I understand that you want to celebrate have a reason to gather and see family...BUT why do that under a catholic holiday name? WHy not celebrate Passover or Ramadan?

AND it doens't matter what religion we are to love and respect others..that has NOTHING to do with anything....EVERYONE should raise their children with love and respect for all...GIVEN...

swags1016 Posted: Mar 03, 2005 09:35 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

It's not about a sense of belonging to be part of a group for the sake of being part of a group, it's about a piece of your identity missing, at least that is how it's me. Also you have 2 extremes Jewish and Catholic and their beliefs in who Christ is. How will you chose what is right.

Also, believe it or not there are differences in how things are done: Funerals, weddings, and holidays. Not knowing the traditions of each can be quite uncomfortable!

I asked have you thought about how your child will feel as you get older?

Like I said I have my own issues with the Catholic church and the rude things that were done to me. But there are other churches and sects out there. What about something like the Unitarian church or the Episocpalian church? Also how do you think your child or children will feel when they, as an adult now have to take classes just to get baptized because their future spouse wants to get married in a church.

I still get the not wanting to be a hypocrite, I understand the teaching of spirituality, but I truly wonder how many have really thought about their child and the future ramifications (like those that I am having now) and not just their own feelings?

JodiBabe Posted: Mar 03, 2005 09:47 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Posted by oct.2004bride

1. i personally just find it odd that someone who does not believe in the catholic religion and doesn't want to raise their child catholic religion would celebrate the holidays...I understand that the togetherness and family gatherings is great...but why the catholic holiday?

I was raised catholic and left the catholic church in my teens! I DO NOT believe in or agree with ALOT of what they teach or should I say preach.
I had my daughter when I was 19 and a single mom and I would NEVER raise her in a catholic church. Does that mean I should NOT celebrate Christmas which is a CHRISTIAN holiday not just a Catholic one.!!!!

When I finally found a church (Methodist) that both my daughter and I were happy in, my daughter was baptised when she was 10 years old.

My DH was brought up catholic and doesn't believe alot of what they teach. He hasn't been to a catholic church except for a funeral in years!!! We will ALWAYS celebrate the CHRISTIAN holidays!

My brother hasn't gone to church in years either annd his wife is Jewish. My niece celebrates all of the holidays!

amy&anthony Posted: Mar 03, 2005 09:56 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Well I grew up celebrating those holidays so I guess thats why Ill continue with the ones I already know. I think a lot of people and cultures now celebrate Christmas. It may suck to say but its not about religion to a lot of people. Its a get together. To a lot of children its about recieving presents and to a lot of adults its about giving presents.
Why do some Catholics celebrate Halloween? Because its fun..
Why do some Catholics use the Easter bunny for Easter.
Because its tradition...
edited to add: and what is the candy for - never understood that.

RedHead Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:03 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Posted by JodiJohn903

Posted by oct.2004bride

1. i personally just find it odd that someone who does not believe in the catholic religion and doesn't want to raise their child catholic religion would celebrate the holidays...I understand that the togetherness and family gatherings is great...but why the catholic holiday?

I was raised catholic and left the catholic church in my teens! I DO NOT believe in or agree with ALOT of what they teach or should I say preach.
I had my daughter when I was 19 and a single mom and I would NEVER raise her in a catholic church. Does that mean I should NOT celebrate Christmas which is a CHRISTIAN holiday not just a Catholic one.!!!!

When I finally found a church (Methodist) that both my daughter and I were happy in, my daughter was baptised when she was 10 years old.

My DH was brought up catholic and doesn't believe alot of what they teach. He hasn't been to a catholic church except for a funeral in years!!! We will ALWAYS celebrate the CHRISTIAN holidays!

My brother hasn't gone to church in years either annd his wife is Jewish. My niece celebrates all of the holidays!

repeating myself... i personally just find it odd that someone who does not believe in the catholic religion and doesn't want to raise their child catholic religion would celebrate the holidays...I understand that the togetherness and family gatherings is great...but why the catholic holiday?

amy&anthony Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:07 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

for me because thats what I know. My family is Catholic and my granparents were STRICT Catholics. So weve always celebrated with them.

For me because its what Ive done my whole life.

edited to add - sorry - I thought that last post was for me

RedHead Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:08 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Posted by amy&anthony

Well I grew up celebrating those holidays so I guess thats why Ill continue with the ones I already know. I think a lot of people and cultures now celebrate Christmas. It may suck to say but its not about religion to a lot of people. Its a get together. To a lot of children its about recieving presents and to a lot of adults its about giving presents.
Why do some Catholics celebrate Halloween? Because its fun..
Why do some Catholics use the Easter bunny for Easter.
Because its tradition...
edited to add: and what is the candy for - never understood that.

i understand the first part even though i think it is weird...but understand it..
everyone celebrates halloween regardless of religion.

And yes a lot of catholic holidays have novelty to it...santa, easter bunny, candy canes, chocolate..but the holidays have meaning behind it

JodiBabe Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:09 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

What is odd about celebrating a CHRISTIAN holiday

It has NOTHING to do with not believing in the catholic church or not wanting to raise your children in the catholic church

amy&anthony Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:10 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

They have meaning to some people, to others its another get together or a party

BTW - I know a lot of people who will NOT celebrate Halloween for religious reasons. (Not saying theyre wrong or right)

RedHead Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:23 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Posted by JodiJohn903

What is odd about celebrating a CHRISTIAN holiday

It has NOTHING to do with not believing in the catholic church or not wanting to raise your children in the catholic church

WHEN YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THE RELIGION...CELEBRATING ITS HOLIDAYS IS ODD...AND SOMEWHAT HYPOCRITICAL!

JodiBabe Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:31 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Posted by oct.2004bride

Posted by JodiJohn903

What is odd about celebrating a CHRISTIAN holiday

It has NOTHING to do with not believing in the catholic church or not wanting to raise your children in the catholic church

WHEN YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THE RELIGION...CELEBRATING ITS HOLIDAYS IS ODD...AND SOMEWHAT HYPOCRITICAL!

BUT THEY ARE NOT JUST A CATHOLIC HOLIDAY AND ONLY MEANT FOR CATHOLICS TO CELEBRATE!

THEY ARE CHRISTIAN HOLIDAYS FOR
ALL CHRISTIANS TO CELEBRATE!!!!!!

The meanings behind the holidays are not just taught in catholic churches!!!!!

Moehick Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:37 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Bottom Line is there are some Holidays that are religious based and if you don't believe in the religion WHY ARE YOU CELEBRATING THE HOLIDAY???

I am not Jewish so I don't celebrate Jewish holidays...I am not Greek Orthodox so I don't celebrate their Easter....so on and so on.

Don't waste your breath Jenn...thats what this country is all about. Instant gratification and materialism that surrounds holidays that few believe in. It really is sad....no wonder a lot of the world looks at America as lost!

RedHead Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:39 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Posted by JodiJohn903

Posted by oct.2004bride

Posted by JodiJohn903

What is odd about celebrating a CHRISTIAN holiday

It has NOTHING to do with not believing in the catholic church or not wanting to raise your children in the catholic church

WHEN YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THE RELIGION...CELEBRATING ITS HOLIDAYS IS ODD...AND SOMEWHAT HYPOCRITICAL!

BUT THEY ARE NOT JUST A CATHOLIC HOLIDAY AND ONLY MEANT FOR CATHOLICS TO CELEBRATE!

THEY ARE CHRISTIAN HOLIDAYS FOR
ALL CHRISTIANS TO CELEBRATE!!!!!!

The meanings behind the holidays are not just taught in catholic churches!!!!!

OBVIOUSLY...NO KIDDING..i wasn't referring to the other denomentaions that believe in the holiday and the meaning behind it....I AM TALKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT INTO THE CATHOLIC RELIGION OR THE DENOMENTATIONS THAT HAVE EMERGED FROM IT....I was talking about those who don't believe in it AT ALL!

amy&anthony Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:39 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

I guess I'm lost. I guess if we're participating in holidays for tradition and we don't consider ourselves a part of that religion than we are just wrong. At least I'll have a lot of wrong company.

Oh well.

So until I decide which religion is for me I should just stay away from all holidays? And my son shouldnt participate in anything either?

RedHead Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:45 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Posted by amy&anthony

I guess I'm lost. I guess if we're participating in holidays for tradition and we don't consider ourselves a part of that religion than we are just wrong. At least I'll have a lot of wrong company.

Oh well.

but then you are observing a holiday for traditions sake..you said what you were doing...if you want to do that...so be it...nobody said it was wrong per say...

I and i will say it for the billionth time..feel that it is kinda weird that someone wouldn't want to be apart of the religion yet want to celebrate its holidays....It just doesn't make sense to me. If you want to carry one with family traditions while using the religions holiday well so be it...you explained that you use the holiday for just that...

JodiBabe Posted: Mar 03, 2005 10:47 PM

Re: Spin-off to Jen's Catholic church- If you are not baptizing your children..

Posted by Moehick

Bottom Line is there are some Holidays that are religious based and if you don't believe in the religion WHY ARE YOU CELEBRATING THE HOLIDAY???

This I will agree with BUT if my brother is not a practicing catholic and my SIL is Jewish & she celebrates the Jewish holidays with her family does that mean my 1 year old niece should not be allowed to enjoy celebrating Christmas with the rest of the family?