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UPDATED Im crying so hard right now

madseason Posted:

UPDATED Im crying so hard right now

I cant put up with FH's selfishness anymore. I was one of those stupid girls who thought being with soeone for so long and getting engaged would change them. I dont know what Im doing anymore. He makes me feel so alone.

beachbum05 Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

What happened?!?!?!

Big hugs for yoU!
Rissespieces Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

I hope everything will be ok. Let things cool down and have a talk with your FH.
madseason Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

Bonnie...for 6 years ive always come last...no matter what i want or what i do it isnt good eough or what i like doesnt matter...im sitting here ripping my hair out because ive never felt so taken advantage of....

We never go to where id like to see
wed never go to the movies i want to see
im constantly being picked on
and I need john to back me up sometimes and he will...and I shouldnt need john!
planning the wedding has been a disaster....i didnt book the place i really wanted to....i had to fight about the BP
he didnt want anything i wanted


I dont know what do what the hell am i doing!!!
I barely have friends anymore
Soon2BMrsD Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

awww sweetie!!! sometimes boys just dont get it! have you tried talking to him about this??

if you need anything please feel free to FM me!
madseason Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

For 6 years i have talked to him

I get the call 2 weeks before my bday that he has no money to gt me anything, yet expects me to give him these extravagant gifts...

we seperated in october bc of this....he promised hed grow up and i feel like ive been let down
jgl Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

i am so sorry you are feeling this way.. i hope you can figure things out!!
angl2001 Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

awww sweetie!!! i hope you feel better.
madseason Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

It hurts when I see all the brides on here raving about the FH's and im siting here wishing he was more like them. Not for presents and gifts...for the thought. The thought for me just isnt there.

MJDoc12 Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now



i'm so sorry! you are not the only person this has happened to....many ppl out there hope that with enough time and love they can wish the other person to change! you are only human...so don't be too hard on yourself.

only you know your relationship, but it sounds like you might need to have some type of relationship counseling or another separation....you deserve to feel appreciated, loved, and supported by your FH....and it seems like you aren't getting any of that.

good luck, and remember that you DESERVE THE BEST and nothing less!
Espo22 Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

awwww i am so sorry ...listen guys who are in long relationships get used to how they are and sometimes think they can act however they want bc hey ive been with the person for so long and they'll accept this...I dealt with that with my ex and i know friends who have dealt with the same thing, so its not just your FH.

What you really need to do is talk to him and tell him EVERYTHING you feel, just what you said in here say it to him. Unfortunately the best way to get it into their heads is to scare them a little...Be very firm about what you're saying, and how you can't take this anymore...If he thinks theres a chance he might lose you is when it will scare him and make him get his act together.

Good luck, and i am so sorry for what you're going through, you do deserve to come first and get treated the way you want to be treated. It might be a process to get him to change but it can happen...Just also remember that he wont change EVERYTHING overnight, just have to take it step by step and recognize the small changes he does make.
lyndanoelle Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now


Guys can be selfish and imature. Sometimes I wonder why they call girls pre modonas when their are a lot of men out thier who do the same

Im really sorry that you are in this position and I hope it works out to what ever is Best for You. If you are able to work things out that Wonderful and if not, at least it is before the wedding and not after.

I would take a day for yourself breath and look at things again tomorrow when you are more calm. Insert virtual tissue
beachbum05 Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now


Posted by madseason

It hurts when I see all the brides on here raving about the FH's and im siting here wishing he was more like them. Not for presents and gifts...for the thought. The thought for me just isnt there.



Ok, first of all, I don't think that all of the women who RAVE about their FH are always 100% honest. EVERYYYYYYYYYYYY relationship has its ups and downs. Some people just like to brag!!! So don't take what they say to heart.

Your relationship is special because its different from everyone elses. YOU are different. HE is different. and that's what is wonderful and unique about your relationship. Sure, we'd all like to get flowers or a piece of jewelry that we want, but don't you have those special moments with FH that AREN'T related to material objects? I mean, the fact that my FH will fold my laundry for me, or will let ME use the remote sometimes absolutely makes me smile from ear to ear! He's thoughtful...but not always in a showy way. But that was one of the biggest things that I fell in love with - his modesty.

Don't be hung up on the material things. Talk to him. Tell him your feelings. Tell him what bothers you. I sent you an FM about it - but I do want to say that I think its SOOOOOOOOOOO important to talk to your FH when you are calm (not crying) and you can rationally explain how you are feeling, and why you are feeling that way. I think men listen more when it isn't an emotional argument, but a more level-headed one. At least my FH does...

You can always send me an FM if you wanna chat more.
megzzie Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

I'm so sorry! You need to have a serious talk with your FH and lay down the law - like Denise said, be very firm and even threaten to break up with him if he doesn't change his ways. Maybe your FH is just so comfortable in your 6 year relationship that he doesn't realize what he's doing to you. Sometimes guys need to be scared and if he is scared that he is going to lose you, then if he really loves and cares about you, he will shape up. Good luck sweetie and FM me if you need anything!
Espo22 Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

I agree with Bon about the material things...When i think of things FH has done for me, its not the material things ill think about, i wont be like oh well he bought me this...Its the small things he does, the day to day things too. So i agree dont get hung up on the fact that someones FH bought them this or that. To me the best gifts i cherish from FH were the free ones, he writes letters and cards and you know what thats better than any material thing he can buy...Even something so small, like everyday when he picks me up he has a redbull with him waiting, i am addicted to redbull lol.

Some guys are different and show their feelings differently, but theyll do these little things that do mean alot, it might not be something material you can be like oh look what he got me but those are really the moments that stick with you
jgl Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now


Posted by beachbum05


Posted by madseason

It hurts when I see all the brides on here raving about the FH's and im siting here wishing he was more like them. Not for presents and gifts...for the thought. The thought for me just isnt there.



Ok, first of all, I don't think that all of the women who RAVE about their FH are always 100% honest. EVERYYYYYYYYYYYY relationship has its ups and downs. Some people just like to brag!!! So don't take what they say to heart.

Your relationship is special because its different from everyone elses. YOU are different. HE is different. and that's what is wonderful and unique about your relationship. Sure, we'd all like to get flowers or a piece of jewelry that we want, but don't you have those special moments with FH that AREN'T related to material objects? I mean, the fact that my FH will fold my laundry for me, or will let ME use the remote sometimes absolutely makes me smile from ear to ear! He's thoughtful...but not always in a showy way. But that was one of the biggest things that I fell in love with - his modesty.

Don't be hung up on the material things. Talk to him. Tell him your feelings. Tell him what bothers you. I sent you an FM about it - but I do want to say that I think its SOOOOOOOOOOO important to talk to your FH when you are calm (not crying) and you can rationally explain how you are feeling, and why you are feeling that way. I think men listen more when it isn't an emotional argument, but a more level-headed one. At least my FH does...

You can always send me an FM if you wanna chat more.



i definetly agree!!

but the most important part of a relationship IMO is communication. you need to be able to sit down talk this out and figure out a solution! I like someone elses solution to, maybe some couples counseling would be helpful, having someone who isn neutral can be helpful too!

def do it when you calm down. Its semi-nice out.. go for a walk and clear your head.

let us know what happens.

GL!!!
Jasonsgirl Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

What happend???? I'm feel so bad for you
beachbum05 Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

oooh - I wouldn't threaten anyone with anything - like breaking up, etc. But thats just me. I know in my relationship threats wouldn't fly.... But thats just us! Maybe Jason DOES need a kick in the pants!

But sometimes I think when we back people into a corner it makes them feel really uncomfortable.
I say just sit down and have a conversation. Feel each other out. Maybe there are certain things that you do that bother him! It gives you both an opportunity to say how you both feel.

If you each calmly discuss your issues you'll be less likely to say hurtful things or things that you will regret saying down the road.
Teamhurldon Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

AWW, I'm sorry to hear this is going on right now for you

BUT, Relationships are about compromise and not making one person feel bad, and it sounds to me like he's making you feel bad... I was in a relationship like that for 3 years, not six, but my confidence and trust level has never completely recooperated, and I'm so mad at myself, that I allowed myself to continue the one sidedness for that long.... I hope you can talk and maybe work things out, but you really can't change people, if he promised to change and hasn't, please please reevaluate if you wanna be with this person the rest of your life... Lifes to short to spend it unhappy even if you keep it on the inside... Take care of yourself and be strong. I hate to see any women end up the submissive type who is just dying inside... Really let him know everything you are telling us about your feelings, and if it makes him uncomfortable and if he gets mad at hearing about your feelings and discussing this hard time.... what will he be like years from now should some life altering decisions need to be made or a crisis happens, will your ideas or wants always go unattended? Sorry this is long, but I really worry about so many young women forgetting themselves.....

I hope everything works out for you
Teamhurldon Posted:

Re: Im crying so hard right now

Oh and PS my boyfriend can be a complete dumb a s s!! and Dense! sometimes.... I would never rave about him, but he does do sweet things to surprise me once in awhile....
Everyone has their ups and downs and fights and get their feelings hurt once in awhile, but we always communicate about it and never go to sleep angry...

Seriously, how many of you girls have been up all night crying and not making much sense trying to sort out an argument with your FH????

Communication is the most important thing

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