Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

Original post by marc_rai

Feb 01, 2005 08:50 PM

So I know there's a lot of dos and don'ts that we're supposed to follow, but is anyone saying. DAMN the rules, I'm doing this my way!
Okay, I'll go first:

Etiquette says: Send each adult over 18 a separate invitation.

Rai says: Damn that rule! If you're over 18 and live at home you're not getting a separate invite.

july0105 Posted: Mar 13, 2005 01:56 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

According to my FMIL I am huge 'rules-breaker' because I (gasp) am not giving out a favor -- instead a donation in honor of my parents who have passed away!

Whose wedding is this anyway!???

Go for it, girls!!

Goldi1021 Posted: Mar 13, 2005 02:03 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

Posted by rugs88

Lots of people see each other before the ceremony nowadays...it's a growing trend!!!

In Judaism, it is customary and necessary. First, the bride and the groom have to sign the marriage license (Ketubah) and then the groom actually has to veil his bride at what is called the Bedeken. Back in biblical times, Jacob thought he was marrying Rachel, when he ended up marrying her older sister Leah. Their father wanted the older sister married first. So to insure that the bride is in fact the correct bride, a Jewish groom does in fact see the bride before a ceremony. It is also a great opportunity to have photos taken first so you can be a guest at your own function and not leave your guests. You can use the cocktail hour to greet everyone and dance at your reception.

Butterflybride Posted: Mar 13, 2005 02:35 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

Posted by marc_rai

So I know there's a lot of dos and don'ts that we're supposed to follow, but is anyone saying. DAMN the rules, I'm doing this my way!
Okay, I'll go first:

Etiquette says: Send each adult over 18 a separate invitation.

Rai says: Damn that rule! If you're over 18 and live at home you're not getting a separate invite.

I agree, unless the person over 18 will be having a guest, only then will they get a separate invite.

akaMrsT Posted: Mar 13, 2005 03:49 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

We're paying for it all ourselves although tradition says the brides parents pay for the wedding. My dad is like 'yeah, right' I'm putting up $30K for a party

jantany26 Posted: Mar 13, 2005 03:58 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

I'm probably the biggest ettiquette braker. We are renewing our vows, with no guests, we are not telling anyone and you know what, this is exactly what we wanted.

Mrs.Ptobe Posted: Mar 13, 2005 03:58 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

My invites will say Mr and Mrs. K... and R... XXXX request your presence blah blah blah... even though they will not be paying for the entire wedding, FH and I live together and his son's name is not going to be included on the invitation - my p's are at least contributing money - not the kid. I won't even put his p's names on my invites since I know them cheapo's won't give us a dime. I know I'm going to get step-mother bashing for this - but I've never been married before and it's my day damn it : )

My mom will walk me down the aisle as well as my dad.

We may have more groomsmen than bridesmaids.

Invitations will also read ADULT RECEPTION TO FOLLOW. The only exceptions to this rule are the wedding party kids but they will not be included on the invitations - their parent's will be alerted to their part in the wedding prior too. If I had to invite every kid of every friend and family member I knew - I'd have 300 kids and 100 adults! I'm 31 - everyone has a kid in my life (except me of course : ) ).

Bunnymonkey Posted: Mar 13, 2005 04:11 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

no assigned seating - sit where you want and with whoewver you want.

ladybug78 Posted: Mar 13, 2005 04:17 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

My wedding dress is ivory with a champagne color band around the top and bottom!!! I love the color in my dress!!!!

vino440 Posted: Mar 13, 2005 07:47 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

It's so nice to see I'm not crazy for the few non-etiquette (gasp) things I decieded.
1) printing my own invitations
2) ivory gown with gold beading (I was torn between an all gold lace dress and a pink one)
3) more groomsmen than bridesmaids (until my FH's cousin decided to stay in the country, so we added her)
4) thinking about having our entrance song Smack My ***** Up by Prodigy (without the words of course....don't want to be responsible for killing my old relatives)

busybee705 Posted: Mar 13, 2005 07:57 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

1. One invite per household
2. I'll hand-write all addresses
3. Breaking catholic tradition, marrying in a protestant church
4. No flower girl / ring bearer (for now...)
5. No MOH toast (my sister is too shy)
6. I don't think I'll have a traditional shower or rehearsal dinner. Neither one of my families have mentioned anything to either FH or me.

I'm sure there are other things, they'll surface in the next couple of weeks...

dita531 Posted: Mar 13, 2005 07:58 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

Hehehehe.... I guess you're all saving yourself... no one said anything about wearing a white gown!!!

ETA: I'm having both my parents walk me down the aisle. Other than that everything is traditional.

janwinterbridejoy Posted: Mar 13, 2005 07:58 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

Posted by amy0405

I dont have a maid of honor, I have a best man, and its my brother!

i did the same thing i called him my man of honor

JenNeen Posted: Mar 13, 2005 08:08 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

i have a list:
1. we are taking pics prior to ceremony
2. we are not being introduced into the reception - we'll be at the cocktail hour
3. no garder/bo-k toss
4. no cake cutting ceremony/song
5. 2 maids of honor and 2 best men - no brides maids or ushers

we want to maximize our time with our friends and family and all the ceremonial stuff cuts into that so we are skipping a lot of it.

beautyq115 Posted: Mar 13, 2005 09:38 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

Well we aren't having kids in or at the wedding....only people in serious relationships will be invited with a date (like most people said on here) Its rediculous to invite everyone with 'and guest' ...and its a lot of money!

Thats it for now BUT I only just started planning

Also for the E-Party I insisted on no kids because... we aren't having kids at the wedding so I didn't want kids to be a the E-Party too...my mother thought it was rediculous but that it what I wanted...

amyandeddie Posted: Mar 14, 2005 03:33 AM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

Posted by JenNeen

i have a list:
1. we are taking pics prior to ceremony
2. we are not being introduced into the reception - we'll be at the cocktail hour
3. no garder/bo-k toss
4. no cake cutting ceremony/song
5. 2 maids of honor and 2 best men - no brides maids or ushers

we want to maximize our time with our friends and family and all the ceremonial stuff cuts into that so we are skipping a lot of it.

Wow- that's an extreme! Your day your way.

bumbleb Posted: Mar 14, 2005 07:06 AM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

Too much too list , starting with living with FH for over 3 years before we were even engaged! Ending with oh well they didn't RSVP, they're not coming I'm assuming. When is it all over

LilyOfValley Posted: Mar 14, 2005 08:19 AM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

Posted by eogara

Apparently having a DJ at a formal wedding is one of mine

I'm sure there are more...

I can relate. Someone who I am close with said her parents would kill her if she got a DJ for her wedding..meanwhile ...I am having a DJ. That made me feel like crap!

Darcy Posted: Mar 14, 2005 08:37 AM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

not everyone can have a guest. Alot of people think that is horrible. I say it is horrible to spend 90 dollars on some person that got invited just because my guest found some random person to bring to a wedding.

Sweetpea130000 Posted: Mar 14, 2005 08:46 AM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

I am also on the not everyone being invited with a guest thing.

I was going to send invites to everyone over 18, but after reading this will probably only if they are bringing a SO.

No kids, just my junior usher (and possibly my niece)

o17range Posted: Mar 14, 2005 12:20 PM

Re: Who needs Etiquette? What are you doing that's 'against' the rules?

A little late, but thought this topic was interesting....there IS a difference between tradition and etiquette. These are probably the only etiquette rules I'm breaking but I'm definitely straying from more tradition.

* We're not inviting anyone under 21
(no children attendants either)
*2.5 hours between the start of the ceremony and the cocktail hour