I need your opinion ladies

My cousin and her mom didn't come to my shower; however, they sent gifts. My mom asked my dad if he knew why they didn't come. His response was that it is probably hard for them to come because my cousin is trying to get pregnant.

My cousin has been married for eight years and she is 43. I know she was trying in trying in the past. However, I am not sure to what extent.

I feel really bothered by the fact that she and her mother couldn't feel happy for me and attend. It also explains why both of them claim they didn't get my pregnancy announcement. Everone else got theirs, I have their correct addres, and there was return address on the envelope.

I feel sorry that my cousin hasn't been able to conceive. However, I don't know how to feel about this situation? Should I call and say something? How would you handle this situation?

Re: I need your opinion ladies

I would send them a thank you note and leave it at that. Why worry your head. In the thank you note you can say, sorry you were not able to make it, but Baby Doe (your last name) Loves the gift. Nothing more nothing less. They already told your dad what's up, why let it bother you. You don't need to worry yourself about how others choose to deal with things you have no control over.

Re: I need your opinion ladies

Agree with Shamma!
I would send a nice thank you note and that's it! Struggling with infertility it's avery difficult thing to be going through for a woman. My very close friend is dealing with it right now, so I know a bit about it, although i couldn't possible fully understand the pain she is going through!

Don't feel that they can't be happy for you! I am sure they are! But that woman's agony is probably stronger the her joy for your happiness!

P.S. This is such a sad issue!

Re: I need your opinion ladies

I can understand why this would bother you, but as the others have said, just send a thank you card with some nice words.

Some people deal with these things differently.

Re: I need your opinion ladies

I would also just send a thank you note and leave it at that.

Re: I need your opinion ladies

I would also just send a nice little note and leave it at that.

Re: I need your opinion ladies

I would just send a thank you for the gift she sent you and say no more

Re: I need your opinion ladies

I second what the others said. This reminds me of Charlotte from Sex and the City in the season finale when she miscarried and almost didn't go to Brady's first birthday party. She eventually changed her mind and went. Hopefully your cousin will change her attitude in the same fashion.

Re: I need your opinion ladies

I agree with sending a Thank you note. I would def say something if they didn't send a gift, but that's not the case. They probably didn't want to spoil your happy day. They may have a hard time holding back their own disappointment.

Re: I need your opinion ladies

I agree also. Don't worry yourself about her and her internal issues.

Re: I need your opinion ladies

Thank you ladies. I had planned to send a thank you, so I will do just that and leave it alone. I will also pray and hope that she will also be blessed with a baby because I know it can be difficult. I was off of birth control for almost two years before I conceived.

Re: I need your opinion ladies

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Posted by natasha

Thank you ladies. I had planned to send a thank you, so I will do just that and leave it alone. I will also pray and hope that she will also be blessed with a baby because I know it can be difficult. I was off of birth control for almost two years before I conceived.

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You are a very strong woman, Natasha....God bless you. I am so sorry that your cousin isn't able to muster the strength to share your happiness, but I can certainly understand why. I think your aunt was probably just trying to be supportive of her daughter, but it would have been nice for her to attend your shower, if only for an hour or so, to show you love and best wishes.

My very close friend was also married for eight years and struggled with infertility (thankfully, she was eventually blessed and just recently gave birth!) She did however, suffer in despair at certain times during the agonizing process and she withdrew from social functions (especially those that involved babies), b/c the pain was unbearable for her. I did not have a baby shower when I was PG, but if I had, I probably would have spoken to her privately about whether or not she wanted to be there. I know she was happy for me, but I also know it was a very difficult thing for her to accept.

Re: I need your opinion ladies

Natasha, youre so strong and good about this
I can see why you are also a little hurt, and Im glad that you can also forgive it and understand the reason,and its big of you to send your prayers for her to conceive.

I think if it were my shower, Id also just send the thank you, and leave it at that.

It must be extremely painful for someone in that situation to attend baby showers.
So good for you for not holding a grudge or getting upset.
Unfortunately alot of people cant be up front about their feelings and cant be happy for others. I guess we cant say how we'd each act unless we've been there. Thats a very sensitive and personal issue...

My **baby prayers** for her to conceive soon.

and hugs to you and baby!

Re: I need your opinion ladies

Natasha- try not to feel bad. Some people are just not able to celebrate with others while they are in their own pain.
I would just send the TY card for the gift and say a silent prayer for her and her DH that they are able to have a child.