FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

ok here's a question for you

my fiance and i got engaged in october and are getting married next may.

his brother got engaged in november and is getting married this september.

here's the problem... my fiance and i met at my best friends wedding - and the first dance we shared was Etta James - 'At Last'. since then - we play it all the time and dance to it in his apartment and he sings it to me all the time - its a big part of us - he even got me the original record for xmas. so of course this was going to be our wedding song.

my fbil and his fiance cant decide on a song, so i burned them a cd of a ton of choices - they went to the dj the other day and asked him for his advice - and the dj recommended - (of course) 'At Last' - they didnt know what song it was and when they went home and listened to it - they decided that would be what they use. but get this - they like the stevie nix version.

i asked my fiance to say something since they are not attached to the song like us and when he mentioned it his brother got annoyed and told us just to use it to -they werent changing.

any advice on what to do
i feel stupid feeling so bad about this

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

Why can't you share it?

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

Why can't you share it. My whole life I always said I was going to have a certain Italian song as my wedding song. I can't now since FI doesn't understand it and would prefer it not to be our wedding song. He thinks it may say I am going to runaway with your money after this wedding

Anyways, that was a side note. Our second favorite song is More - by Sinatra. When I mentioned it to FI he said his brother said that would be his wedding song. (he is not engaged) and we asked him and he had no problem with it as long as we knew he would be using that song at his wedding.

Can you compromise?

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

Honestly- if you are really attached to it- use it.. I'm guessing that the people at your wedding would have heard it at other people's weddings anyway since it is THE wedding song right now.

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

I understand your feelings, especially because the song has real meaning to you and you FH. Let a little time pass and then maybe you can bring the subject up again. Could you talk to your FBIL's fiance? Maybe another woman would understand a lot more than a man.

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

I agree with Sassy. You can both use it. You wouldn't be the first and certainly won't be the last!!!

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

I think you're just going to have to share it. Also your weddings are 6 mos apart.

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

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Posted by Donna

I think you're just going to have to share it. Also your weddings are 6 mos apart.

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I agree, AND they will be by two TOTALLY different artists... You do have to admit that Stevie Nix and Etta James do sound different...

I would be upset too, but it will be your day.. dont let it make you miserable, and don't give them grief.. you wouldnt want it if the tables were turned.

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

That is happening to us. We have been planning to use Elvis - cant help falling in love for a long time and FH friend is getting married on Valentines Day and guess which song all of a sudden they want to use. At first it bothered me alittle just bc they knew about it and were going to use a different song but then I realized ours would have a special touch to it - we are taking dance lessons and they are not. Find a way to make it different for you. There is so much that can make you crazed planning the wedding I decided to not let this be one of them for me or else it would be along 4 1/2 months!

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

OMG.. I did almost the same thing with my friend. She got engaged a little before me. Then I got engaged. I had started looking up music and burned cd's and made her a cpy. That was the dumbest thing I did, because she got married and picked the song I wanted to dance with my father to. I know I can still use it, but she and her father will be at my wedding and I don't want them to be like, Oh that was our song or nothin. Unfortunately there is not much you can do if they said they are not changing it. Just think of it as two different songs since two people are singing it. Personally, I like the original Etta James version the best. Nobody does the song justice like her. Stick with your song, nobody will realize it!!

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

Well I wouldn't give it a second thought - there are a few songs that you will notice it seems that EVERYONE uses. So you can be sure if he doesn't use it another one of your friends will - At Last is a VERY popular song I hear it ALL the time at weddings.

I would say if you didn't have a connection to pick another song there are thousands of songs out there. BUT it seems you have a strong connection to this song - since that is the case then I wouldn't let it bother me if EVERYONE used it because it has special meaning to you - you know you can always announce WHY the song has meaning to all of you if you are worried about people thinking you are copying something. - But honestly I would just play the song and enjoy its personal meaning

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

I understand the way you feel, but I wouldn't give it a second thought. The song has real meaning to you and your FH and you will be so caught up in the emotion of the moment, nothing else will matter. Besides, the Etta James version is the best anyway! We are using it also.

Re: FBIL wants same wedding song - advice

I wouldn't even think about it and just use the song... copying is a form of flatery...