Tipping on the Wedding day!

OK.. so ladies.. what are the rules?
Who gets a tip and who doesn't?

I assume the Maitre D does.

What about the photographer if he's the owner.. does his assistant get a tip?
The Bartenders?
Offficiant?
Videographer?
Bridal attendents?
Reception hall owner?
Musicians?
Limo driver?

What about the guy who cleans the toilets? (Then again.. what if your reception hall has no toilets????)
The guy who collects the toll on the highway?
Family memebers?

OK.. now I'm joking... Seriously who does.. and who doesnt't.. Not worried about the amount because I think I know what's fair.

Now here's a tip for all of you.....

Nice guy that I always am imparting my 'wisdom' to all of you!!!!

If your FH asks to use a feather on you, that's kinky! If he wants to use the whole chicken, then.. that's perverted!!!! haha

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

I have yet to figure it out

Martha says

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

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Posted by september2004

I have yet to figure it out

Martha says

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Thanks for the link. I sent it to the FW.

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

pretty much everyone...

its your option whether you want to tip the servers, bartenders

the banquet manager doesnt get tipped..
matre d $1-4per person
bridal attendant $100-150???
if your at a church the priest and alter boys are suppose to be tippedl..
limo driver tip if good job..(theyre already suppose to get the 20% included)
florist delivery tipped maybe $20...
photographer/videographer tipped if you want(and you may want to wait to see the finished product)

tips add up quickly, and dont forget to budget vendor meals....

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

but what if there is a gratuity included in the hall price. From martha's article it seems its not neccessary, but my parents dissagree on this one. Dad thinkgs no tip for MAirtre d bar tender & waiters , but mom thinks tip everyone even though there is a grauity included.

Is it just a smaller tip then? Who does the 18% go to anyway?

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

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Posted by tourist

but what if there is a gratuity included in the hall price. From martha's article it seems its not neccessary, but my parents dissagree on this one. Dad thinkgs no tip for MAirtre d bar tender & waiters , but mom thinks tip everyone even though there is a grauity included.

Is it just a smaller tip then? Who does the 18% go to anyway?

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i know, that is why i say i have yet to figure it out... traditionally owners are never tipped and if there is gratuity included in the price then that should be it...should being the operative word...

ETA: my contract actually has a MAirtre d FEE plus gratuity...

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

Serioulsy, it's so confusing. At this point my only defitinite is the bathroom attendant. Actually with that I'm not eve sure- I thin there is just one in the ladies room-I'll have an envelope for the men's room anyway, in case there is an attendant, the guys will have to let me know.

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

Is it true that if the vendor is working for themsleves then you need not tip them, FMIL said this to me. Is it true? I was only planning to tip the bridal attendent if she was very good

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

if they own the business, like some photographers, no need to tip, but the bathroom attendant you would tip even if she isn't an actual employee of the hall.

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

I believe that the 18% that the hall charges...go to your waitstaff...servers, etc. The matre'd needs to be tipped separately. As for owners...I'm not sure what I'm going to do...

By the way...I could be wrong...if anyone else knows that right answer...please advise! Thanks.

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

I was told by my catering hall that the gratuity is for the wait staff, etc. The Maitre'd and Bridal Attendant get separate tips which are not included in the gratuity fee. Matire'd SUGGESTED tip is $2-3 pp. and Bridal Attendant I think was $1-2 pp.

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

I agree with neesiepie - No need to tip waiters and bartenders when you are paying gratuity.. it gets too crazy and too expensive.. but someone who goes out of there way or above and beyond esp. the bridal attendant &
maiter'd are another story.

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

thanks all

Luvsun- I don't think theres a 'right answer!'

Neesiepie, your response is the most concise & straight forward I've heard & since it comes from your hall ( and was seconded by Soon2BMrsZ), I think I'll use it as my guide line.
I always lumped the Mairtre D in with the waiters.

Shows what I know. . .

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

my hall said that the 18% gratuity will go straight to the waiters/bartenders so i dont need to tip them..
i know not all halls actually give the money though, might be good to ask...

matr d isnt covered, bridal attendant isnt covered..

banquet manager shouldnt be tipped, theyre already getting commision..

if the vendor is their own owner, some people dont tip because they figure the person gets a profit, others think they should tip them anyway for a job well done..

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

So guests shouldn't tip the bartenders then? I thought at my cousins wedding everyone at Watermill was tipping the bartenders. Strange...I thought they were part of the gratuity.

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

guest can tip the bartenders...

the one thing i dont like is when the bartender has a tip jar out, it makes me feel guilty if i dont tip.. my hall told us they dont allow the tip jar and that any tips the bartenders will place in their pocket

Re: Tipping on the Wedding day!

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Posted by butterfly20

guest can tip the bartenders...

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no, no, no! very poor form as it 'cheapens' the affair...

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the one thing i dont like is when the bartender has a tip jar out, it makes me feel guilty if i dont tip.. my hall told us they dont allow the tip jar and that any tips the bartenders will place in their pocket

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good thing the hall does not allow this. if you feel guilty, personally, i would tip the bartenders in the begining of the reception and ask them kindly not to take tips from my guests...then i would tip them again once the affair has ended if they have followed directions...

JMO, but i feel reeeeeaaaaly strongly about this and absolutely can't stand tip jars as it makes the servers into beggars - not cool for an upscale event.