My RD is going to be a circus (Sorry so long just needed to VENT)

Friday night we go to FILs house just to say hi. FMIL calls us into the dining room to talk to us about RD and the menus of various locations that I gave her.

She tells us that she likes Jillian's the best bc it will be casual and people can have some fun - OK fine. As we start counting guests, FH and I realize that there's gonna be at least 80 people there bc she wants to invite all OOT guests. We tell her that we don't really want that many people there and want it to be more intimate.

She proceeds to tell us that the RD is the groom's parents responsibility and that she already told her people that they were invited to the RD. She's like it's polite to invite OOT since they traveled for the wedding.... That may be true but half our guest list is OOT people bc we live in Chicago. And since she's paying for it, OOT guests will be included.

FH was like this wasn't about you asking us our opinions, you just basically wanted to tell us how it was gonna be. She was like yeah pretty much

FH and I decided that we will take our BP out to lunch earlier that day to give them their gifts and just to hang out.

Sorry so long...I just needed to vent.

Re: My RD is going to be a circus (Sorry so long just needed to VENT)

8- people is a small wedding not really an RD, the joy of in-laws........feel better

Re: My RD is going to be a circus (Sorry so long just needed to VENT)

Sorry!!

But we are pretty much doing the same thing ... RD at Dave & Busters and OOT are invited ...

BUT it was our decision and we are paying.

Re: My RD is going to be a circus (Sorry so long just needed to VENT)

I don't understand how rehearsal dinners get so out of control. Isn't the point just to get together with the people directly involved with the wedding ceremony? Will all these OOT guests be at the actual rehearsal?! I feel for you. There's not much you can do if she already told people about the dinner. Plus she is making it clear that by paying she has every right to run the show. I think it'd be nice for you to get together separately with your bridal party. That way they'll get the attention you deserve and the 'rehearsal dinner' will really just be a get together before the wedding. Good luck to you.

Re: My RD is going to be a circus (Sorry so long just needed to VENT)

Your doing the right thing by going out to brunch with your BP. If your FIL's are footing the bill for Jillians, by all means....let them.

Re: My RD is going to be a circus (Sorry so long just needed to VENT)

I feel your pain, my FH's family is all from Ohio, so my FMIL is planning on inviting all her family to the rehersal dinner, which I am not too happy about but it's 'her party' so I am staying out of it.

FIL's are difficult to deal with. My FMIL has no daughter only two sons, and she's driving me nuts with all her planning and meddling, I am trying my best to keep the peace but it's hard.
Sometimes you have to pick your battles.

Re: My RD is going to be a circus (Sorry so long just needed to VENT)

sounds like a good idea taking your bridal party out to lunch, then you can give them their gifts in a more private setting... then you can always do the fil dinner at night and get to see all the OOT guests..

Re: My RD is going to be a circus (Sorry so long just needed to VENT)

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Posted by Pookiesangel

I feel your pain, my FH's family is all from Ohio, so my FMIL is planning on inviting all her family to the rehersal dinner, which I am not too happy about but it's 'her party' so I am staying out of it.

FIL's are difficult to deal with. My FMIL has no daughter only two sons, and she's driving me nuts with all her planning and meddling, I am trying my best to keep the peace but it's hard.
Sometimes you have to pick your battles.

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FH is her only child. When I see her name on the Caller ID, I let the voicemail get it bc I know she's calling to ask/tell/suggest something about the wedding.

We have definitely decided not to fight her on this one. If she wants to spend 2K or more on the RD more power to her.

We have other things to fight about ...like the guest list. I am so not looking forward to that.

Re: My RD is going to be a circus (Sorry so long just needed to VENT)

Wow that is going to be some RD. I guess you just have to grin and bare it since the in laws are paying for it. I agree with you going out with the bridal party on the side. Good luck and try to enjoy it anyway.

Re: My RD is going to be a circus (Sorry so long just needed to VENT)

Just look at it as a pre-wedding party/celebration! I mean, if she wants to pay for it...great!

You may have a lot of fun!

Re: My RD is going to be a circus (Sorry so long just needed to VENT)

I agree with the majority..let the FMIL blow over 2K for a RD!!