HELP! Need advice about engagement party!

Hi all! I'm pretty new to the chat, but I just love how everyone helps each other out! It's really great!
I was hoping you guys could give me advice on a RUDE co-worker. FI and I are having a small get-together to celebrate our engagement. Just a small gathering of family and close friends. I work for my family's company and was forced to invite some co-workers - one in particular that I don't really care for. The RSVP date was last week and the party is on Sunday....She has yet to respond!! She told another co-worker a few weeks ago (one that I"m close with) that she wasn't sure how to respond because I didn't invite her on again/off again boyfriend (right now they're off or so I'm told). She just let the RSVP date go, and just today she told the same co-worker that she was going to call my mother and tell her that both she AND her un-invited boyfriend would be coming. Is it just me, or is this truly rude not only to respond after the head count has been given to the place and the favors have been ordered, but to also bring along someone else? The invitation was just made out to her!! I would LOVE to tell her it's too late and she can't come, but I don't think I can..and how do I approach this whole "bringing someone else" thing? Any suggestions?? Thanks for letting me get that out!

Re: HELP! Need advice about engagement party!

Hmmmm....... Let's see........If this co-worker plans on calling your mom then she should be prepared to say something that will have this person stop in her tracks.

My suggestion is when this person contacts your mom she should say it this way:

Thank you very much for responding. I just want to let you know that we put a lot of time and effort planning this party for my daughter and would greatly appreciate it for the next time to please rsvp in a timely fashion. We apologize for not inviting you with a date because we would like to keep the party intimate and small for just people close to the family.

I think if this co-worker makes a big stink about it then she is only going to make herself look like an A$$.

Hope I was able to provide some insight

Re: HELP! Need advice about engagement party!

Thanks! Although my mother's the "RSVP contact" it's my party and up to me to confront it. I'm just so angry about this, that I was really worried about saying something that I may end up regretting. I think that I just needed a nice way to get my point across, and I think that does it! Thanks so much!

Re: HELP! Need advice about engagement party!

No problem

Re: HELP! Need advice about engagement party!

you're in a tough spot..i'm sure whatever you decide to do will be fine..i personally am a tell it like it is and i would confront her..sometimes people like that can't handle confrontation and you might just throw her off by asking her what her problem is..lol good luck

Re: HELP! Need advice about engagement party!

I would say that since she missed the RSVP date her nor her un-invited guest can NOT attend. Everything is set and there is a reason for RSVP. I wouldn't be nasty about it but stand your ground girl!

Message edited 3/17/2004 10:13:52 PM.

Re: HELP! Need advice about engagement party!

If I were responding to her late RSVP, I would say,

"Oh, wow. That's so sweet that you want to come. Unfortunately, once the RSVP date passed, we only counted those who RSVP'd into our FINAL count. So, the preparations have already been made and we can't make any changes at this point. But, again, it's so kind of you to think of me"

Re: HELP! Need advice about engagement party!

Wow! That is some nerve!!

I like Suvens response.

Welcome to the boards, BTW!

Re: HELP! Need advice about engagement party!

Hey girls! I wanted to let you all know what happened at work today...she approached me playing dumb and questioning me saying she didn't remember if she responded. I flat out told her no, and she then said "Well the two of us will be there." I came right out and told her (very nicely) that I had already given the head count in, but I could check to see if there was room for ONE more, and that since we were keeping it small, she was not invited with a guest. I apologized and said that we put a lot of time into this party and that I would've liked to have guests but it just wasn't possible. Well, she stormed away without saying a word, and came back to say she'll "try to make it." I thought you guys would enjoy that laugh! Thanks for all the advice! In the end I'm glad I listened to you all and stood my ground. THANKS AGAIN!

Re: HELP! Need advice about engagement party!

I can't believe the nerve of some people!!