I finally got my FMIL's list! And it's 37 people over what we told her!

Okay -

To catch everyone up, my FI's grandmother died last Thursday. She was sick for awhile, and I had been hesitant to ask for her daughter, my FI's mother, for her invite list - I kept asking and she kept saying 2 more days. And when my FI's grandma died, of course I didn't bring it up. She brought it up yesterday though, and gave me the list. And it's like 87 people, when I told them they could have 50.



So I spoke to her last night and we put some people on a B list and some people she KNOWS aren't coming but she wants to send them an invite anyway and that brought it down to a more manageable 67 possibles, of which she's certain that about 20% will say no. And they agreed to help if we needed it. But I was freaked out yesterday something fierce.

But I made my invites, and I might have to make more. BUT MY WEDDING IS MAY 30TH - MARCH 30TH is the last possible day I can send these out! Can we even do a b-list? And we're still at FILs place until Saturday at least.

Just needed to vent.

Re: I finally got my FMIL's list! And it's 37 people over what we told her!

You'll be okay!

Re: I finally got my FMIL's list! And it's 37 people over what we told her!

i think that is cutting things close for a b list - hopefully everyone from the a list will come - let us know what happens

Re: I finally got my FMIL's list! And it's 37 people over what we told her!

Oi Vey!
Well be strong - also remember that some of the people will def. not come anyway...that's the way I am thinking...

It sounds like you have a nice relationship with her, so at least you can talk to her (not like my FIL's who orig.wanted 100 people and didn't offer enough $$ to pay for that many)

Re: I finally got my FMIL's list! And it's 37 people over what we told her!

You may be surprised. A B-list is alsways doable. You can always fake it. call the people and say 'We haven't gotten your response yet. What? You didn't get an invitation? I'll send you another one tomorrow, but here is all the info. I hope you can make it.' We did that for 2 people.

Re: I finally got my FMIL's list! And it's 37 people over what we told her!

nsgraham, sorry for your FI's loss....an A,B, and even C list is possible....stay level headed and focused, keep your numbers straight you will be fine

Re: I finally got my FMIL's list! And it's 37 people over what we told her!

thats nice they offered to cover the distance and were agreeable to a B list..... right now im under my limit so i wouldnt mind the extras

Re: I finally got my FMIL's list! And it's 37 people over what we told her!

I know its crazy- but thats what inlaws do ( so I am learning). They really are just proud and want to shine as well. Mine keep telling us that we can't cut anyone- not everyone will come- etc.
At least yours are reasonable w/ the B list.
I think someone posted here that 20% are no's.
Good luck!

Re: I finally got my FMIL's list! And it's 37 people over what we told her!

I'm getting married the same day and still plan to do a B list. One of the ettiquette books said you can send invites up to 6 weeks before the wedding. My A list went out this past Monday, so hopefully, I can start on the B list in two weeks. As for FIL's - I had the same problem - my FMIL gave us a list with double the amount of names she had originally said - then refused to B list anyone! It has caused serious problems in my relationship with her.

Re: I finally got my FMIL's list! And it's 37 people over what we told her!

Sorry to hear about your FI's grandmother and about the extra people, I think the B list will work. I hope it does... keep us posted!

Re: I finally got my FMIL's list! And it's 37 people over what we told her!

What is it about our men's mothers that they just don't get it? Hang in there and please don't be afraid to stand your ground. We cannot let these women make us crazy.