Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

My wedding is in July and last September I noticed that Bloomingdales had the BM dresses I wanted to get and they were on sale ($109 reduced from $340). I couldn't pass it up. My BM all chose them from a selection of dresses so I know they like them (to some extent at least)

I had to call every (not joking) Bloomies in the Country to get the dresses for everyone in their size and I paid for the dresses and shipping. I even bought extra dresses in case people needed different sizes and then returned the extras.

My fiance and I are not working. He's a grad student, I'm unemployed. Only one BM paid me and she is now pregnant and will have to get another dress because she will be 5 months pregnant at the time of the wedding. Poor girl had to pay for the first one plus $340 for the second one too.

The others mentioned paying when I said I bought the dress. I said I would get the money when I brought over their dresses. then they never mentioned it again. One is notoriously cheap and NEVER remembers to bring money when we go to lunch or take a taxi together. I guess that's why it bothers me even more with her. I know she makes well over $100,000 a year and even went out of her way to tell me she got anothe huge raise of over $25,000. What will she do with all that money? Um - I'm unemployed with no cash at all - how about pay for your dress?

I'm so bad at these things but it is kind of a bad situation in that if I decided to pay for them - I'd have to refund the other bridesmaid $500 to cover the 2 dresses she had to buy because of her pregnancy and that is just too expensive for me right now.

Any tactful ways to bring it up?
It's been 9 months now and I have mentioned the dresses and the poor BM who had to pay for 2 dresses and no response. I have not come out and asked but it's so hard to do - especially at this point.

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

I would be completely honest, and tell them straight out, say FH and I don't have a lot of money, even less now with the wedding, but I was wondering when you were going to pay me for your bridesmaid dress? Can I please have it by so and so date, bc I need the money in time to submit another deposit at so and so vendor?


Good Luck! Hopefully that'll work.

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

I agree with Bebalina, and it makes it easier for you... try sending an email about it, so you don't have to confront them face to face.

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

I think you should be direct and say I am bringing your gown over on Thursday (or whenever) and just to remind you, it's $110.

They should know that it is their responsibility to pay for their attire so don't feel bad about asking for the money.

Good luck

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

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Posted by ChristineC68

I think you should be direct and say I am bringing your gown over on Thursday (or whenever) and just to remind you, it's $110.

They should know that it is their responsibility to pay for their attire so don't feel bad about asking for the money.

Good luck

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I agree!!!!!!

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

how about telling them that as a 'bm thank you' gift you would like to offer to pay for half of the dresses. this way you could tell them that dress was $110 and if ask them to pay $50.

i don't know. actually, this is a tough call.

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

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Posted by ChristineC68

I think you should be direct and say I am bringing your gown over on Thursday (or whenever) and just to remind you, it's $110.

They should know that it is their responsibility to pay for their attire so don't feel bad about asking for the money.

Good luck

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I agree, they know it's their responsibility, try not to feel awkward about it.

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

I am offering to pay for my bridesmade dresses. How many weddings have you been in where you have to buy a dress you will never wear agen (although they say you will). I refuse to do that to my party. I think you should pay for tyhe pregants friends dress - why penalize her? I do not think it is fair because your friend is working and you are not that she should have an expense? Why do you expect her to pay a frivaluos expense that you yourself cannot afford?

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

I told my bridesmaids to go out and purchase a simple blac k dress. It is an honor to be part of a bridal party. They should pay for their dresses, not you.

Your wedding is in a month a half, you need to have this resolved asap.

Good luck to you

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

I would simply tell all of them that you guys have a lot of things to pay since the wedding is so close and you really need them to give you the money the next time they see you. I see nothing wrong in that.

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

it might be a little late, but what i did was i created a bridesmaid's newsletter that i sent out to them a few times during the wedding planning to update them on everything that was going on...you could make something like thta and include a little part of it that lets them know they still have to pay for their dresses

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

i would just bring her dress and say ok that is --- whatever it comes to with tax and shipping
some people just dont get tact - it has to be in your face where is the money for this dress i am not a millionaire
it is unfortunate but that si the way some folks are

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

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Posted by Steph&Steve

I am offering to pay for my bridesmade dresses. How many weddings have you been in where you have to buy a dress you will never wear agen (although they say you will). I refuse to do that to my party. I think you should pay for tyhe pregants friends dress - why penalize her? I do not think it is fair because your friend is working and you are not that she should have an expense? Why do you expect her to pay a frivaluos expense that you yourself cannot afford?

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Steph, I think you're being a tad judgemental.

OK, a lot judgemental. Good for you that you offered to pay for your bridesmaid dresses. When I was having a bridal party (I no longer am having a BP), I told my BMs that they wouldn't have to pay for their dresses. However, in this case, she told them when she purchased them that they would have to pay her back when she gave them the dresses. There doesn't seem to be any indication that she offered to pay for them or that they didn't think they would have to pay.

It's not a frivolous expense, either. Most BMs know that they are accepting all the attendant costs when they accept the honor of being a BM. Why should a good friend who seemingly has the means to pay for her dress make the bride, who is unemployed and clearly not in a position to be shelling out money that other people know they are supposed to be spending, incur the cost? You seem to be freely spending Sam's money when she already stated that she doesn't have any.

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

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Posted by Steph&Steve

I am offering to pay for my bridesmade dresses. How many weddings have you been in where you have to buy a dress you will never wear agen (although they say you will). I refuse to do that to my party. I think you should pay for tyhe pregants friends dress - why penalize her? I do not think it is fair because your friend is working and you are not that she should have an expense? Why do you expect her to pay a frivaluos expense that you yourself cannot afford?

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HOW SILLY!!!!
there is no reason why she should pay for the drresses....a gift is a thank you not the dresses

i am not paying $2000 for my girls' dresses
they are in my bridal party an dthey are purchasing their dress

Justine... i think you should just come out and say...i need the $$$$ for the dresses
i dont think they will offer, if they were than it would have been done
or maybe your BM that idd pay can say something to the rest of teh bridal; party

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

just be honest... they should understand...

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

You say they haven't 'offered' to pay, so unfortunately, you have to nicely demand that they pay. They all understood from the get-go that they were going to be paying for their dresses. Just let them know that you need the money by July 1, that gives them a full month to come up with the money. And by the way, $109 is a really good deal!

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

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Posted by Steph&Steve

I am offering to pay for my bridesmade dresses. How many weddings have you been in where you have to buy a dress you will never wear agen (although they say you will). I refuse to do that to my party. I think you should pay for tyhe pregants friends dress - why penalize her? I do not think it is fair because your friend is working and you are not that she should have an expense? Why do you expect her to pay a frivaluos expense that you yourself cannot afford?

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Daym! I'll leave this one alone since it seems like many other people here said something.

On a lighter note... why is it that the people that make the most cash... end up to be the cheapest people? LOL

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

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Posted by DjPiLL

On a lighter note... why is it that the people that make the most cash... end up to be the cheapest people? LOL

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How do you think they have so much cash?

Re: Bridesmaids still haven't offered to pay for their dresses

LOL Tell me about it.