It's really true that you find out a lot about people when you are getting married.

So, my shower was yesterday and I had a good time but now that it's over I am learning about all the stuff that went on. You really learn a lot about people during this time.
First of all, my MOH (sis in law) worked SO hard to make everything right and was so stressed out over a lot of things that were not going right. I find out that she called my mom several times almost in tears over problems with planning. When my mom said it's no biggie, do what you can she said "but she is my "sister" and I want everything to be perfect for her" That's so sweet!

On the other hand, my BM (I only have MOH & BM) did basically nothing to help. She got kinda nasty with MOH when she asked her to chip in $100 for shower. She said that she doesn't have money (which I know is not true) and if she did that, she would not be able to buy me a gift. Ok, fine. She had 1 thing to do, set up one of the games for the shower and she waited until the morning of the shower to print up the things for it. Her printer wasn't working so she didn't even end up doing that. By the way, she gave me a picture frame which was regifted. She probably should have taken out the little card that was taped inside the box which was made out to her and her FH. She also gave me flannel sheets which I am almost positive that she got for her shower. I am pretty sure that those were regifted too. Believe me, it's not the money spent, it's the thought put into it, or lack of thought that really bothers me. I would never have expected this from her.
Meanwhile I gave her fairly generous gifts for her engagement party, graduation and shower over the past year even when money was tight. Whatever.

Then you have my parent's neighbor who don't know me that well who get us about $100 worth of stuff. Meanwhile a family member who makes VERY good money and has few expenses got us a strainer that costs $19.95 full price.
It's so weird how the people who have very little were more generous than I expected and vise versa.

Re: It's really true that you find out a lot about people when you are getting married.

I know. I wonder what I'll learn once I start going heavy with the planning.

Re: It's really true that you find out a lot about people when you are getting married.

Yup!!! I know exactly what you mean. My mom, my cousin and my sister planned my shower. My other cousin and my FSIL did ZERO and my sister(MOH) was so stressed out by it. You definitely learn who cares about your happiness.

Re: It's really true that you find out a lot about people when you are getting married.

yup...

me and my mom discovered that too!

I took me 2 years to save up and work for the wedding of my dreams. Many people treated my wedding like a backyard barbeque!!!

I had one miserable BM from hell. She and her cousin (another BM) did NOTHING to help!

Re: It's really true that you find out a lot about people when you are getting married.

Unfortunately, I'm having some similar issues. I don't really feel like a few of my BM are looking at for my happiness and best interest. Instead they're being a bit selfish and I don't know what will happen with our relationships in the future.

Re: It's really true that you find out a lot about people when you are getting married.

i can honestly thankfully say i am not experiencing this at all, actually it's been quite the opposite. one of my BM's flew in from california for my shower and my FSIL gave me so much that i felt embarrassed! my sister and mom planned the whole thing, but they are always keeping in touch and asking if there is anything they can do to help...

i don't know if i have low expectations or i am just low-maintenance in general, or what...

about the $$$ spent on the shower gifts. i would try not to think about it so much because it really is the thought that counts. i am a person who gives in the $20-$50 range for shower gifts and don't consider myself to be cheap. i am not poor but am not made of money as well. i give what i think is a reasonable amount for the wedding gift and hate to have to constantly shell out $$ here and $$ there for all the things that happen along the way. i am not a big fan of showers, bachlorette parties, and all the "expected expenses" that go along with being in the bridal party. a couple of weddings a year that include airfare can kill the pocketbook, so i have kept that in mind when planning my own day...

Re: It's really true that you find out a lot about people when you are getting married.

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Posted by nferrandi

Unfortunately, I'm having some similar issues. I don't really feel like a few of my BM are looking at for my happiness and best interest. Instead they're being a bit selfish and I don't know what will happen with our relationships in the future.

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