Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

I have a small dilemma. We were at FH's parents' the other night for dinner and FMIL said she found a dress and she's thinking about going back to get it. The color is champagne.

Here's the thing. My mother didn't get her dress yet but was planning on getting the color champagne. I wasn't quick enough and didn't say anything on the spot and now I'm not sure how to bring it up again w/out sounding like a biatch.

I've always heard its customary for the groom's mother to wait for the bride's mother to pick a dress or color dress first, is that true? How do I say this to FMIL? My mom would be so upset!!!

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

Is your mother DEAD set on that color? Unfortunatly, my FMIL waited for my mother to get her dress color. Maybe when your FMIL goes to try it on she won't like how the color looks on her. You could bring it up to her in a polite way. You can 'lie' a lil and say your mother is having a hard time finding a dress and the only one that she likes only comes in Champagne and Black and she doesn't want black. A lil white lie never hurt anyone.

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

It sounds like you have a double edged sword there.

I would just try to bring it up the next time you see her.... how you say it is the key. You know great moms think alike... guess what color my mom was thinking of for her dress. That sort of thing.


Good luck.

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

We are having them coordinate colors-- so that they look like they are gong to be a part of the bridal party.. They are also maybe going to go shopping together.

There are many different shades of each color-- I think it is kinda nice they match a little..

If that makes you feel any better..

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

to be honest i never understood the whole drama surrounding the MOB/G dresses. There are many shades of champagne and many different styles of dress-i'm sure they will look totally different. But, thats JMO.

Does your mother know that she is planning on doing this? How does she feel about the dress thing?

My sis is getting married and her FMIL bought her dress before my mom and everyone was aghast at the rudeness of it-there was such drama, and she bought a dress in pink, a color my mother was not even considering. Still, my mom bitches and moans about how in the he** she is going to find a dress that coordinates with pink!

personally, i don't get it. it's just another wedding thing to get family all worked up and give you anxiety. Tell your mom and FMIL to email/talk about it and let them figure it out.

Good luck!

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

Could be worse, your MIL could be waiting till the week of to buy a dress because she doesn't want it to happened and then buys a dressy pants suit....

(I know that situation first hand!)

I wouldn't worry too much!

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

My FMIL bought her dress before my mom, but my mom didn't really care. In fact, my mom just ordered her dress this past month and it would have been very rude and selfish for us to ask FMIL to wait that long. As far as the color goes, like someone else mentioned, there are different shades of champagne, some are more gold, some are more silver. I personally don't believe everyone has to coordinate, I think each mother should wear whatever they're comfortable in and whatever fits them best. JMO

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

My mom bought a navy lace 2 piece dress, so I told my MIL no lace, no navy. So she went out and bought black lace. You can tell her (FMIL) whatever you want, but she may not listen to you....

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

Yes, usually the MOB gets to pick her dress first...

I remember hearing about how my grandmother bought a dress when my uncle was getting married. Then, the Mother of the Bride bought the same color dress. So, as soon as she found this out, my grandmother went out and bought a new dress, no one even asked her (and $ was VERY tight back in those days)

Anyway, your situation is really not bad...as long as you play your cards right you should be fine. Try to be very nice, and calm, and things should work out nicely...

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

IMO...i think it is whoever gets the dress first, gets the color.
Did your FMIL ever ask you what your mom color was wearing?

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

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Posted by lillian771

I've always heard its customary for the groom's mother to wait for the bride's mother to pick a dress or color dress first, is that true? How do I say this to FMIL? My mom would be so upset!!!

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This is true....the MOB chooses first. I think you should call FMIL and tell her this...tell her you did not want to bring it up in front of other people b/c it is not something you wanted to discuss in front of an audience...maybe this will help.
Good Luck

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

MOG should first call the MOB to see what color she is wearing. I think either u or ure fh should tell her ure mother hasn't bought her dress yet!

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

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Posted by paulandles912

My mom bought a navy lace 2 piece dress, so I told my MIL no lace, no navy. So she went out and bought black lace. You can tell her (FMIL) whatever you want, but she may not listen to you....

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AINT that the truth. Like the Lavendar dress my MIL wore even though I asked her several times not to wear and said she wouldnt then the day of she showed up wearing it. I didnt want her to much my girls and she had the b@lls to say what is she (me) gonna do not let me goto the wedding make me leave? Its alright though cause she looks like the idiot blending in in all my pictures!

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

My mom and FH mom are wearing similar colors. My girls are wearing driftwood (a sort of cinnamon brown). Both moms are wearing dresses in the bronze shades.
I guess like everything else, every bride is different. Some want their mom's to cooordinate, some do not.

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

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Posted by oct.2004bride

IMO...i think it is whoever gets the dress first, gets the color.
Did your FMIL ever ask you what your mom color was wearing?

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I don't think she ever mentioned it. I remember when both my brothers got married my mom called their FMILs and asked what color they were going to wear so she wouldn't copy or clash. I think she expects the same.

Thanks everyone for all your help. These things really make me nervous!! I'm sure it isn't as big a deal as I'm feeling like it is, but its just nervewracking for me.

Re: Question about FMIL/MOB dresses

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Posted by lillian771

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Posted by oct.2004bride

IMO...i think it is whoever gets the dress first, gets the color.
Did your FMIL ever ask you what your mom color was wearing?

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I don't think she ever mentioned it. I remember when both my brothers got married my mom called their FMILs and asked what color they were going to wear so she wouldn't copy or clash. I think she expects the same.

Thanks everyone for all your help. These things really make me nervous!! I'm sure it isn't as big a deal as I'm feeling like it is, but its just nervewracking for me.

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TRUST ME I UNDERSTAND!!!!
Is your mom DEFINATELY wanting the champagne dress? Meaning
she tried it on and is going to buy it? If so, I would have your FH talk to
your FMIL. Maybe she can get the dress is a different color?
If your mom is uncertain...i would say she has to pass. IMO, i don't think
it is right to keep your FMIL waiting for your mom to decide...
But that is just me