Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

Our ceremony in Whitestone is at 4. We arent having a full mass. We plan on doing a receiving line though.

Then its off to a local park for pictures.

Our CH (which we will not attend) does not start until 8PM. We had originally thought it was 7:30 and thought that was a big gap...but we were reading the contract wrong. (CB originally put in a ceremony time before we decided to go with a church instead)

We asked CB to change it but they cant because of the different weddings at that time and the way they stagger the times. Okay that was mostly our mistake.

But do you think that this gap of time is too big? Its 4 hours from the time that we get married until the party starts.

Should we change the church time to 4:30 or is that a funky time? The priest said it was fine. If not, what should we do!?!?! I know not everyone attends the ceremony, but I know some will and they will be highly inconvenienced. HELP!

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

I would see if you could change the church time. At my church they have weddings at 4;00 or 5;30. Even a 530 would seem to be good for you. Maybe a family member could host a little something at their house for some guests in between the two.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

My ceremony is at 3:30, CH starts at 7:00. I don't think it's too much of a gap. It's better to have extra time, than to be rushing around..JMO

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

I guess if its not going to be a problem move the ceremony time... worse comes to worse people find something to do inbetween.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

---

Posted by jillnbrad

My ceremony is at 3:30, CH starts at 7:00. I don't think it's too much of a gap. It's better to have extra time, than to be rushing around..JMO

---

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

We have the same time gap. Our ceremony is 3pm and our reception is 7pm. Of course I think that is fine. Don't worry about it

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

Ceremonies NEVER EVER start on time! Even short ceremonies end up taking 30 mins or so..Having that extra time will give you lots of time for pics, so you're not rushed and you can arrive at your catering hall calmly.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

Yep! Ceremonies always start late and stagger as well. I would say move it to 4:30 and plan to leave close to 6 after receiving line and limo pictures and all that fun stuff.

Figure an hr and a half from supposed start time!

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

Don't worry about it! I think a lot of weddings are like this and the time inbetween for your guests will go quickly.

Our church is at 4pm and our cocktail hour does not start until 7:30.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

last month i went to a wedding that was on a THURSDAY / thats bad enough. then the church was at 4, and the CH started at 730. i dont think it wouldve been that bad had it been on a fri or a weekend. but speaking from a guests pov. not good. i felt it was a little rude, they shouldve made the reception earlier. so that people that had to work didnt have that tough of a time. b/c your not having it on a thurs, then i would make the church later... like 5 30

i hope that no one gets offended, but i am just being honest..


btw. the church was in Northport and the rec. was in Bayville.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

I am going to a wedding today where the church is at 230 and the CH starts at 630. It is all the way out east so we are missing the church. You just need to be prepared that some people will miss the church with such a time gap, but the important people will be there !!

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

OK, you asked for honest - I think large (more than, say 2 hours) gaps are rude IF you have a sizeable # of guests who do not live near the reception or ceremony location.

When we lived in Brooklyn, we'd go to weddings in Suffolk that had 3 hour gaps of time, and we would wind up at a restaurant, or at a bar, and then just driving aimlessly around. I never want to miss the ceremony but it was frankly annoying to be all dressed up and hanging around looking for something to do.

To me, the ceremony is the most important part, and I wouldn't want anyone to be forced to choose between the ceremony or the reception.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

i don't think it should be too much of a problem. my mass is at 2 and my CH starts at 7. 2pm was the latest mass that they had on a saturday aside from 615, and my hall didn't give me a choice of the time. There wasn't too much i could do. i didn't want to rush around either so this will give us the opportunity to get all the pictures done ahead of time, we both have fairly large families.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

---

Posted by cluelessbride

OK, you asked for honest - I think large (more than, say 2 hours) gaps are rude IF you have a sizeable # of guests who do not live near the reception or ceremony location.

When we lived in Brooklyn, we'd go to weddings in Suffolk that had 3 hour gaps of time, and we would wind up at a restaurant, or at a bar, and then just driving aimlessly around. I never want to miss the ceremony but it was frankly annoying to be all dressed up and hanging around looking for something to do.

To me, the ceremony is the most important part, and I wouldn't want anyone to be forced to choose between the ceremony or the reception.

---

Message edited 8/28/2004 8:45:53 AM.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

I think it is inconvenient, but not rude at all.
plenty of wedding have time gaps and it is difficult to schedule these things perfectly. you are obviously not the only person getting married that day, so you cannot always choose the times for yourselves....it sometimes depends on others as well.
as a guest, i always try to understand why there is such a large gap, and as someone who just planned a wedding, i find i'm much more forgiving of those little inconveniences!

if you can make the church a littlelater, without worrying about missing any picture-taking time, i'd say go for it...otherwise, leave it as it is and your guests will have to make do

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

Many people have a lot of time in between to have enough time to take pictures.

Guests will either find something to do in between or just go to the reception (and miss the ceremony- not sure if that matters to you).

If you make it a little later more people may come to the ceremony. As long as the important people are there, it may not matter to you.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

I wouldn't worry about it. I think it is fine. If you are really concerned then change the church to a little later. People that haven't planned a wedding don't realize that many churches (like mine) have afternoon masses. We can't have our ceremony any later than 2:30 and our recpetion doesn't start until 6. Maybe you can arrange something in between, for example, my FMIL is inviting people to her house between the ceremony and reception. That will work out well since my family is not from LI. Plus, you never know what the traffic is going to be like on LI!! It's always better to have extra time!

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

I think it's a big gap for OOT people. Are there a lot of them? if so maybe someone that lives near the church, can have them come over, or recommend a bar/restaurant they can go to in between. If most people are local I do not think it's bad at all.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

I also had a 3 1/2 hour gap. I did have the full mass ceremony. My guest arrived approx 20 minutes early to the hall. (It was about a 45 drive because of traffic/distance)

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

I think you should definitely change the church to 4:30

I got married at 3:30, had a full mass, my CH was 7:30 and I still thought that it was too much time!

4:30 is a great time to get married!

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

Less people might come to the ceremony.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

It really depends on how far your guests are traveling and where the majority of them are from.

If they are from the Queens area, for the most part, the gap is fine because it actually gives them time to go home and change and still make it in time for the CH with LI traffic. It's great for you and your BP because you won't be rushed for pictures and you'll have the luxury of going pretty much anywhere for pictures. Keep in mind that your wedding is on a Friday and that you and your guests will be dealing with friday evening rush hour traffic and friday-nite-going-into-the-city traffic. And you are smack in the middle of it, being between Queens and western Nassau.

Personally, I think the gap is fine, and it's a safe bet. I wouldn't mind as a guest.

Half an hour is not going to make that much of a difference and instead make things more difficult for your guests because if the ceremony is at 4:30, it is even closer to rush hour traffic time.

Plus, you have to figure a 1/2 hr ceremony, plus 1/2 receiving line, plus 15 mins or so of pics in the church... you really won't be leaving the church until about 5 - 5:15pm.

I say leave the time as is.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

If your ceremony starts at 4 and it's full mass, what time would it end? 5ish? That might be too long a gap, but that's JMHO. If you can move the ceremony to 4:30 or 5:30, I would do it. I don't think it's weird.

Re: Please give me an honest opinion...how bad is this? Regarding time gap.....

I would change the time to at least 4:30/5... A lot of time is good for you but not for your guests.... If you dont plan on being there for your cocktail hour, definately push back the time!!