DRAMA!! very long sorry.

I'm gonna go crazy!!! Just a little background info... my MOH is from out of state... Conneticut.. so she's not really 'near by' She is also 'maid of honor of the year!' her 3 best friend all are getting married within 6 months of each other..she is maid of honor for all 3!!! so she has her hands full..

and so the saga unfolds... i know a bit about my shower.. probably more than i should... well about 3-4 weeks ago MOH comes out to LI realises that there is not much time left untill my wedding and no one has even looked at a place for a shower.. so she emails my MIL and SIL (she is also a bridesmaid) that she has gone out to find a hall.. she decided to assign the girls tasks to do puts invites together and plans the whole thing herself in one weekend.. my SIL at this time emails that the date is great...MIL asks if she should give money.. MOH says no and gives amount that each maid is paying... (side note my mother gave the girls money towards the shower but i asked my MOH not to ask my MIL for money because they are just getting their business started)..

FH comes home and tells me that his mother and sister are very upset that they werent more involved in the planning.. MIL asks why the price is so cheap.MOH tells her because my mother paid towards the shower. (isn't that who normaly pays most MOB and MOH?) MIL calls FH and tells him that only my mothers money is good with my BP not hers! AHHH!!!

Meanwhile im not supposed to know this is going on... I call MOH she says she did email SIL back and asked if she could take care of picking up the balloons... she responds that her car is too small so she can't.. (hello her dad owns a utility van) my other maids dont have a big car but they will figure out something since SIL won't.

i am planning my BCH PTY with MOH so i will get to do what i want... we discussed 2 or 3 dates in october.. SIL gets wind of this through other big mouth SIL and emails MOH questioning her about the BCH PTY already planned MOH responds that it was just discussed.. SIL emails that she has so much to do in oct that she wont have the time to go to the BCH PTY!! We didn't even set a date for it yet and she already said no...

Why is this happening!!!! I feel like crying! Nothing was done with cruel intentions in mind and yet people are being completly CRAZY! Like FH and i need this 6 weeks to the wedding!! I cant even say anything because then MIL and SIL will know MOH has told me to much about shower and it will really tick them off! But i feel like i should because this is CRAZY!!!!!!! Sorry so long. whew did it feel good to let that out! thanks for listening!!!

Re: DRAMA!! very long sorry.

wow. I don't even know what to tell you, but

Re: DRAMA!! very long sorry.

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Posted by marymoon

wow. I don't even know what to tell you, but

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thanks.. i just had to vent... i HATE drama.. and i had none though my whole planning until now!!!

Re: DRAMA!! very long sorry.

Take a deeeeeeeeep breath! I'm sorry this is happening to you. I think there is a lot of miscommunication going on. Maybe MOH can call SIL and have a GTG so they can figure a few things out. 1st - that no one is trying to exclude them from the planning 2nd - that there is no reason for anyone to be upset because nothing was done with the intent of hurting their feelings...

I hope things work themselves out. I know its hard but try not to take all of it one yourself and dont stress so close to your wedding.

Re: DRAMA!! very long sorry.

MOH is going to email SIL again... to see what she can do... But i think my shower might be this weekend and we only found out about the hurt feelings now... But not going to my BCH PTY to me is just spiteful so now i'm getting angry... she could have at least waited till the date was given to say NO..

Re: DRAMA!! very long sorry.

Yes, I agree that its spiteful but I think you need to talk to her about it. This is going to be someone you will have as a part of your life ... forever... so I think you have to find a way to communicate to her that it wasnt meant to hurt her feelings or to exclude her. Forgive me if I am wrong... I don't know how your relationship with SIL was before all of this planning but if you don't work it out then this will be a soar spot for a long time.

Re: DRAMA!! very long sorry.

Everything was fine untill now... or at least i thought... but FH dosent want me to say anything because he says the disagreement is between them ( the BP) hopefully my MOH can make sense out of all of this... the worst part is they are acting like nothing is wrong to MOH.. thats why we had no idea! after my shower i am deffinatly going to call my SIL on not going to my BCH pTY though... she still has to tell me no... i wanna see what she says.. My MOH just IM'ed me... she wasnt putting everything together until now because she didnt realise there was anything wrong... turns out she emailed SIL a few days after planning to see if she wanted to get a group gift from BP for me.. SIL told her that she had ALREADY BOUGHT something herself... if she bought anything off of my registry i'll be mad because nothing started disappearing until last weekend.. ( i cant help peeking )

Re: DRAMA!! very long sorry.

im sorry to hear all this drama sometimes people get crazy over little things.I agree with asking your MOH to talk to the SIL and explain the situation maybe your FH should mention to your FMIL that maybe the reason they didnt ask her for much is b.c they know she s starting a new business and wanted to respect that?
good luck

Re: DRAMA!! very long sorry.

You should tell your FH that most of hte time the MIL does NOT contribute to the shower, it's usually done by the MOB. So she should not get all bent out of shape. It's tradition. It's not meant as an insult. She could help out by doing other things though like help decorate, etc.

I don't like when people get mad becuase they can't monetary contribute and then say 'no one wants our help'. You can offer to help in other ways!!!

Re: DRAMA!! very long sorry.

You have FM.

Re: DRAMA!! very long sorry.

Your relationship and plans w/ you MOH are not you MIL and SIL's business. -
Stand your ground on this one, no one did anything wrong or inconsiderate !

Re: DRAMA!! very long sorry.

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this drama now, when your wedding is around the corner. Don't let this get you down or all upset. Neither you nor your MOH did anything wrong. As previously stated by others, the MOB traditionally takes care of the shower, and hopefully that can be conveyed in a nice way to your FMIL.

With respect to your SIL already saying no to your Bach party, I would wait to see what her response is to you when you mention the date to her before you confront her. Maybe she just had an attitude with the MOH and acted in the moment. Weddings bring out the craziness in people. In the long run, if she still decides not to go, and a little chat doesn't work, don't let it ruin your party. You continue to have a good time b/c she will feel completely foolish when she hears from the other girls what a blast you guys had.

Good luck and enjoy the final few weeks of planning. Don't let a few people and attitudes bring you down or effect your wedding planning on a whole. Just think... six more weeks until the big day that you are going to spend with everyone you love, then your honeymoon and all of this will be water under the bridge.