Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

Are any other brides parents not helping them as much or at all? My parents I know have more money then they act like they do, but dont want to help out more. My FH's side of the family helps out more than my own parents.

I just suck it up and say whatever they give me helps and I should be thankful I guess.

Am i being to bratty?

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

I don't know if your being bratty but Im in the same boat. We are not getting any help from either side as a matter of fact in laws wont even discuss it(the wedding). My mom does plenty for my sister and younger brother but I guess because Im on my own and older , well I don't know...
My sister is graduating HS in may and got a car for her birthday last year that she's wrecked 3 or 4 times so far and mom keeps getting it fixed. She's paying for her to go on a trip to Europe and to Mexico for graduation plus helping her pay for her apt. in Daytona while she goes to college. My brother gets anything and everything he asks for. Im 32 and have kids so I guess it doesn't entitle me to help. So I guess Im the one who sounds bratty.

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

I planned my wedding without thinking my parents would help us. which was good because now they say they are going to give us some money. but i will believe it when i see it.........
you are lucky for them to be helping in however way they can.
i am jealous of girls whos parents pay for most or the whole wedding.
If my parents were still together im sure they would have payed for my wedding in full. but things happen and they have themselves to think about now.
good luck
hope everything works out for ya

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

My parents are giving us enough to pay for hall,flowers, and dress. My father thinks the amount he is giving me is enough to pay for the whole wedding and I am having an average wedding. My dad is stuck in 1970, and cant get passed how much things are these days. My FH parents haven't offered us anything execpt the rehersal dinner. I am happy to have some help.

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

Ali- Hall flowers and dress is huge! Thank your lucky stars!

I wish my aprents could help out , but they really don't ahve $$. Also they're in a awkward position because my sister got married a few years ago and she's quite a bit older than me but she paid for her entire wedding herself, she didn't involve anyone in the family in anything and did everything on her own. I would like to involve my mom in things and I think she'd like to be able to give me some $$, but she's in a bad position, she feels, because she didn't give my sister $$ for her wedding. FH's parents say they'll help, I think it'll amount to like a grand, if that. They're pretty cheap, and they throw all the $$ at FSIL b/c she has kids ad mooches off of them like crazy. I am totally jealous f people whoa re getting their weddings paid for. My cosuin just got married right out of college and not only did they barely shell out a dime ofr their wedding, but they got 3 sets of china and everything off their registry and as soon as they got back from their hawaii honeymoon (also paid for by the parents), they came home to their lixury apartment and bought a 60' TV. I was like 'How can they afford that?...oh yeah...grrrr' I mean all the better for them...but I just hate having to struggle and I hate basically being expected to have this hugeparty regardless of what I can afford. So, add me to the brat list!

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

I'm with you girls... my mom is giving me nothing... i feel like she should at least offer to try to help me buy my dress or something... i know she doesnt have a lot of money...but i really feel if she tried she could save up a few hundred to help me with my dress!

FI's parents offered to pay for the ceremony... so that is a great help!

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

I also planned my wedding by thinking that we were going to pay for the whole wedding because i know my parents nor FI parents have money to do so...my mom has contributed a lot more than i thought she would have in any situation and she say she will do more if she can...FI mom also says that in a few months she will be able to help us out a bit more....I am very greatful that they are helping...I think they think that they have to pay myself and my FI back for all of the stuff we've helped them with...I actually want to return the money to them after the wedding...all my mom said is that we'll talk about it after the wedding....

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

My parents actually want to help and are offering me money but they seriosuly dont have it to just give away so I dont think I am going to take it.

My mom is paying for my dress and Im sure the shower etc so I think thats plenty.

There is just so much they can do with that money and I feel guilty taking it.

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

I honestly don't know what the situation will be later down the road, but right now we are assuming that we are paying for the whole thing, so I know your pain. His side is definitely unable to help. It's very stressful. Yet, I know in the end it will work out. I may not get everything I want, but it's not a big deal...we are doing this all for approx $12,000, which includes everything...and I am high-balling it.

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

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Posted by FutureMrsH

I honestly don't know what the situation will be later down the road, but right now we are assuming that we are paying for the whole thing, so I know your pain. His side is definitely unable to help. It's very stressful. Yet, I know in the end it will work out. I may not get everything I want, but it's not a big deal...we are doing this all for approx $12,000, which includes everything...and I am high-balling it.

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wow.. thats a great deal!!! Howd you get so lucky!?!

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

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Posted by Jen2999

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Posted by FutureMrsH

I honestly don't know what the situation will be later down the road, but right now we are assuming that we are paying for the whole thing, so I know your pain. His side is definitely unable to help. It's very stressful. Yet, I know in the end it will work out. I may not get everything I want, but it's not a big deal...we are doing this all for approx $12,000, which includes everything...and I am high-balling it.

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wow.. thats a great deal!!! Howd you get so lucky!?!

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Lots of research and shopping around. We are doing candle centerpieces instead of flowers which costs about $50 less per table. We are getting married in a garden to save on ceremony decor. No limos. I got my dress about $800 less because I bought it off the rack (that was luck because the sample had only been tried on by one other person...they had just gotten it in at the time). We got our weddingbands at the commack jewelery exchange and saved tons of money. we are doing w/ out a videographer, and will hopefully book 12th night for photography. We are getting married on a sunday too, so it's cheaper. And a friend of mine, who is a concert violinist is helping w/ ceremony music Basicly, we decided what we can really do without and what we could substitute while maintaining elegance. People thought I was crazy for booking early and planning early, but it gives you so much time to comparison shop. Take advantage of the time girls!

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

We are on our own, 100%!! I knew this though because growing up it was something my family had decided for all 3, my sister, me and my brother. My sister got married last year and did it all on her own. It worked out beautiful!!
I am actually not bothered by the fact that we arent getting any help. In the long run, Im getting it after the wedding where I feel I will really need it. When people start offering some help, their opinions start coming with it and then it could cause some bumping of heads and trouble. I feel that we are safe in keeping everyone out and doing this OUR way. Yes,its tough and i guess we could use some help but, I know we can do this and be happy and proud once we do. We do have to cut a few corners and search every aspect of cutting back.
Its going to be the best that we can make it. Im ok with that.

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

Yeah, it's good to pay for it yourself because you have 100% say in the matter, but i guess you never really have 100% say, ther are always expectations, and this wedding is going to cost a LOT of money, probably most of a year's salary for FH, and I'm not working right now, so...I don't know how we're going to do it, we're both right out of college. Hopefully when I'm done with school whatever job I have will be enough to support us and then this $$ can go towrd the wedding or vice versa

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

i wouldnt say that you are being a brat....i sort of have the same situation.....my fh's family has given alot to us even for the engagement party and my family seems to be sitting on the side lines....i am trying to find a respectful way of talking to them about this situation

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

No, you're not being bratty. Me and FH are paying for the entire wedding ourselves. HOWEVER, we are 33 and 34 years old and have pretty decent jobs. My parents are divorced and my mother can't afford it. My Dad is just cheap (sorry pops, but it's true!! LOL).

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?

Paying for a wedding is stressful but there is no rule book that says your parents should/have to pay for your wedding. You say you know your parenst have more money than they act like they do, how do you know this? I say if you can;t afford to pay for your own wedding then you are probably spending too much. JMHO

Re: Parents not helping much? Am i being bratty?